The Art of (Not) Letting Go
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: Three years after his marriage to Abigail, Marshall wonders why his life is still so complicated. Written from Marshall's POV.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello dear readers! I've been absent for a bit - but not idle. I've been working on a secret snowflake for Greenstuff over on the LJ IPS board and you know that I wouldn't post something over there and not also post it here for you to enjoy! The prompt was: unrequited/requited love, Mary &amp; Marshall, ANGST, why do you always want the one thing you can't have? Now, at first glance this has been done to death by many of us - but my Marshall muse woke up and went nuts with this idea. I hope you enjoy this fic - it is the most ANGST-Y piece I've written to date. And yes, it's a long, multi-chaptered story. My Marshall muse still doesn't know the meaning of the word "succinct". _

_Disclaimer: I don't own IPS. If I did, the show would still be on the air and M&amp;M would be kicking ass on a weekly basis._

* * *

"_**Say something- I'm giving up on you**_

_**Say something. . . ."**_

* * *

**Present Day**

I've only loved two women in my life.

The problem is that both of them are still very much alive. I'm married to one: I come home to her every night and share a bed with her. The other one I work with every day, and though she is no longer my partner, we still work closely together – close enough for my feelings to remain in a constant state of flux that my wife needs plenty of reassurance of my love and devotion to her.

I don't blame her – my wife. Her own job at APD keeps her very busy so that our time together is precious and when something happens that takes me away from her, I'm afraid Abigail gets rather upset. It doesn't help matters that she – that **we** are trying to conceive. Her hormones are all over the place and I promised her before our wedding that I was not going to run every time Mary called. But this morning when the phone rang and interrupted us, I didn't have a choice. I had to go.

"What am I supposed to do, Abs? Ignore an emergency call about Nora?" I sighed in exasperation as I pulled on a pair of jeans. "Mary's out of town on a transport and-"

"Well, Nora's not an orphan! Where's her father? Or Mary's mother or sister?"

"I don't know." I stood up from the wreckage of our bed as I hunted for my dress shirt. "Where did you- here it is." I grabbed it off the floor. "I have to go – the assistant principal is taking Nora to Albuquerque General."

Abigail flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "Today's the last day I'm ovulating and –"

I silenced her words with a kiss. "Abigail, listen to me. We've had sex like animals for the past couple of days. If we haven't made a baby by now-"

She recoiled from me. "What? If we haven't made one by now, it's my fault? Is that what you're saying?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying we need to slow down, relax, take a break, maybe?"

Abigail yanked the covers up to cover herself. "I knew it. I knew you didn't want to have a child with me, Marshall Mann."

My mouth fell open. "How can you even say that?"

"It's pretty obvious to me that you're choosing Mary's child over any future child of ours."

I grabbed my keys off the dresser, stuffing my wallet into a back pocket. "I'm not going to have this argument with you right now. There's a hurt, scared five year old waiting for me at the hospital-"

"What if it was our child? Would you drop everything and come running?"

I shook my head. "The fact that you even have to ask that question-" I turned on my heel and left before I said something I'd regret. My phone rang in my front pocket and I fished it out to see Mary's name flashing on the screen. "Hey, Mer – I'm not there yet, but I'm on the way."

* * *

The waiting room at the ER was a mob scene.

Since I'd taken the morning off to be with Abigail, I didn't know if there had been a shooting at the mall or some neighborhood gang activity, but the place was packed and I had to wade through people just to get to the desk.

"Hi, I'm looking for Nora Paige-"

"Uncle Marshall! Over here!"

I turned my head sharply to the right and saw Nora standing on a chair, waving an arm in the air. Pushing my way through more people, I ignored their glares until I was standing in front of her. Scanning Nora from head to toe, I took in her torn stockings, the ragged hem of her school dress uniform and muddy face. But I was most concerned about the fact that her left arm was bound in a homemade sling.

"Well, you seem to be in one piece, love bug."

Nora crinkled her nose. "Don't call me that in public, Uncle Marshall – and definitely not in front of-" her voice trailed off as she nodded to the uptight silent woman next to her.

I stuck out my hand and flashed my identification with the other as the woman stood. "Marshall Mann – and you are?"

"Ms. Greyson, the assistant principal-"

I smiled. "Ah, then it was you who called Mary."

"Yes, and who exactly are you?"

"I'm Mary's supervisor and friend." I laid a hand on the top of Nora's head and she snuggled into my side. "I'm Nora's godfather, honorary uncle, and medical emergency contact. I'm also on the list of people who can pick her up from school."

Ms. Greyson frowned at me. "But not family."

"He is too!" Nora growled.

"Shh," I soothed as I lifted her into my arms. "Look, Nora's mother's lawyer has given me power of attorney to sign off on all medical forms for emergencies. You needn't worry that your school will have a lawsuit on its hands if you leave Nora in my care."

Ms. Greyson unbent a little. "I'm sorry, Mr. Mann. But these days, one can't be too careful."

I grinned. "I completely understand. Now, do we have to get a number or have you already checked in?"

Nora held up her good arm and I saw the hospital bracelet. "I'm checked in but they said I had to wait for you before they could do anything more."

Ms. Greyson cleared her throat. "I will go tell them you're here."

"Thank you." I waited until the woman had moved away before I sat down with Nora in my lap. "What happened to your arm, Nora?"

"We're alone now, Uncle Marshall."

I chuckled. "Tell me what happened, love bug."

"I fell off the monkey bars at recess."

My eyebrows rose. "And?"

Nora's eyes dropped as she fiddled with the buttons on my shirt. "And what?"

"You just fell off?"

She nodded.

Ms. Greyson's shadow fell over us and I looked up to see her frown. "That's not exactly what happened, Mr. Mann. Nora was pushed off the monkey bars by another child-"

"What!"

She held up a hand. "But not before Nora punched that same child in the face and broke his nose."

My mouth fell open in shock as I looked down at my niece. "Nora?" I spoke softly. "Is that true?"

She nodded again, still not meeting my eyes.

"I'm afraid I need to get back to the school – but Nora can fill you in on the rest. I'll need to have a conference with Ms. Shannon as soon as she gets back in town and I'm afraid Nora is suspended until after Christmas break."

My heart sank. Mary wouldn't be back until Saturday – and this was Thursday. "Can she call you on Monday? Or do you want to talk to her after the break?"

"Monday will be fine, Mr. Mann." She turned back to Nora. "Take care, Nora."

I waited until Ms. Greyson had left before I lifted Nora's chin so I could see her eyes. "What happened?"

"We were playing on the monkey bars – me and Emily when Jerry came over and started making fun of the way Emily talks," Nora whispered. "I told Em to ignore him and she did but then-"

"Nora Shannon!" A nurse called from the doorway. "We're ready to take you to x-ray now."

I held up a finger. "This conversation is not over."

* * *

"She has a broken arm, Mer, but other than that she's fine." _Oh yeah, and she's suspended but let's not share that info until you're home._

"_I can't believe this happened while I was out of town – you're sure she's OK?"_

"She's fine – she makes a much better patient than her mother."

"_Watch it, Marshall. Did she tell you what happened?"_

"She started to but then we got interrupted and now we're back at the office-"

"_Wait – you didn't take her back to school?"_

_Oops, think fast, Mann. _"Uh, well, the day's basically shot, so I just decided to keep her with me."

"_You're a terrible liar."_

I sighed. "Mary-"

"_You don't have to think of excuses to spend time with her, you know. She misses you just as much as you miss her."_

"I hated missing Thanksgiving dinner this year."

"_Which part? The canned yams or the burnt turkey?" Mary laughed. "I'm sure you had much better food at Abigail's family shindig."_

_But not better company. _I cleared my throat nervously. "Ms. Greyson said she couldn't reach any of your family – where is everyone, Mary?"

_There was a long pause before Mary finally responded. "Well, Mark's off somewhere with his new girlfriend Sequoia-"_

"Excuse me, Sequoia?" I laughed. "You can't be serious."

"_I'm so not making this up – where was I? Oh, and Jinx is off looking for Brandi."_

My heart was in my throat as I whispered, "Where's Brandi?"

"_No one knows. She's disappeared again – just like she did when she went down to Florida before Nora was born, remember?"_

"What about George?"

"_Left him with me."_

"God, Mary! Why didn't you tell me? How long's she been gone? Did she leave a note? Do you think-"

"_Whoa, whoa, slow down, Doofus! Yes, she left a note. It just said she needed some time and space and she'd be back." Mary snorted. "Typical, irresponsible Brandi."_

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"_Was there a reason I should have? I'm sure she's fine and this isn't your mess, Marshall, it's just more Shannon family drama that you asked to be released from – and correct me if I'm wrong, but you have your own shit going on right now."_

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Perhaps that's the point – it would have offered a welcome distraction."

"_Ouch! Things are rocky in Casa Mann, eh?"_

"I'm not talking about the intimate details of my married life with you, Mer-"

"_Ew, gross- I'm not asking for any details, believe me. Just know that I'm here and I care, all right? As a woman who never wanted to have a baby in the first place, I can't imagine my life without Nora in it. But to actually want and not be able to have a child- I can't even imagine that."_

"We did-" I swallowed, wondering if I could even give voice to the words that I'd never spoken to another living soul. It was our deepest, darkest secret and it was eating me alive. I needed to tell someone – someone who understood me. "There was a child-"

_Mary's gasp came over the line loud and clear. "What?"_

"Six months ago, Abigail miscarried. It was an ectopic pregnancy- that's when-"

"_I know what it is. Oh, Marshall."_

"I was at a conference when it happened – I don't think Abigail's completely forgiven me for not being here, for having to go through it alone. I think she blames me – that if I'd been here, things might have been different."

"_You know that's not true, right?"_

I nodded and then realized she couldn't see me. "I know – but God, it hurts! And instead of talking about it, we went right into trying to get pregnant again. I guess I just needed a little time."

"_Did you tell her that?"_

"I tried but she accuses me of not wanting a baby with her when I do."

"_I can't believe I'm going to suggest this – but it sounds like you both need some counseling. And I'd lay off the sex for a while – I mean-"_

"I know what you mean, Mer, and I suggested the latter this morning. It didn't go over well."

"_I don't know what to say – I'm not good at the comfort thing."_

I smiled sadly. "You've helped more than you know just by listening."

"_Well, it's the least I can do since you came to the rescue this morning with Nora."_

I frowned. "If everyone's out of town, who has been staying with her and George?"

"_Mark's mom Joanna is watching George during the day and then our neighbor Mrs. Knight stays overnight with the kids."_

"Would you mind if I stayed with them instead?"

"_I'd love it but I don't think Abigail's in the right frame of mind to have two rug rats running around the house-"_

"No, I mean stay overnight at your place until you get back."

"_Oh. Are you sure?"_

"Abigail and I could use some space from each other about now and Nora needs some extra TLC – I think it's the perfect solution."

"_Well, thanks, I appreciate it."_

"Now that we've got that settled, tell me how things are going with the witness."

* * *

"Uncle Marshall, what's a whore?"

I looked up sharply from the newspaper that evening to see Nora standing in front of me in her PJ's, shifting from one foot to the other, her eyes wide in curiosity. "Nora Paige Shannon," I spoke softly and sternly, "Where did you hear that word?"

"From Jerry."

I searched my memory banks until I remembered our interrupted conversation in the ER. "The boy you punched in the nose?"

She nodded. "He called mom a whore."

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as my mind began to race wildly. Obviously this child's parents knew Mary – at least well enough to gossip about her in front of their child. I set my paper aside and pulled Nora down into my lap. "I think it's time you tell me exactly what happened today, love bug, and don't leave anything out."

"You'll be mad."

I nodded. "Maybe – but even if I do, it doesn't mean I won't still love you."

Nora held up her pinky finger. "Promise?"

I hooked my large pinky around hers and shook. "Promise – now talk."

"Em and me were playing on the monkey bars when Jerry came over to us and started making fun of Em – he always does that! He teases everyone in our class, but he's really mean to Em because she has trouble saying words with lots of 's' and 't' sounds in them – mom told me what that is but I forgot-"

"A lisp."

"That's it! Anyway, I told Em to ignore him and he was like 'you gonna listen to her? she doesn't even know who her father is!' and I screamed 'I do too!' and Jerry was like 'You think you do but my dad says your mom's a whore!' and that's when I punched him and he pushed me and we both fell off the monkey bars-" Nora sniffled. "I know I shouldn't have punched him but he's a bully! Always hurting my friend Em and then he said that about mom and I know I don't know what it means but I know it's a bad word just by how he said it-" she hiccupped as the tears broke free.

Rage was building inside of me, not at the child Jerry but at his father, whoever he was. I opened my arms and Nora snuggled deeper into my chest, her tears soaking my shirt front. My fingers smoothed back her blond curls and I could feel her breathing even out as her tears slowed and her body relaxed in sleep. Leaning down, I pressed a kiss to her forehead as I stood to carry her to her bed.

"Don't go," she whimpered in her sleep.

_So like her mother. Tough as nails when awake but when she's sleepy and her guard is down- _I shook my head to clear it of the long ago memories. I tried hard not to focus on how right it felt to have Nora, Mary's child, cradled in my arms. How I wanted her to be my- No. How I wanted a child with Abigail, my wife.

"I'll be right here when you wake up, love bug," I promised as I tucked her in and watched as she rolled to the side and clutched Biscuit the second. I had haunted toy store after toy store until I found the replica teddy bear of the one that Mary had grown up with and Brandi had given away to a drug addict's baby years later. When I had given it to Nora on her first day home from the hospital, Mary had cried, but blamed it on the residual hormones in her body. As I backed slowly out of Nora's room and went to Mary's to check on George, my phone buzzed and I looked down to see Abigail's face on the screen and I hesitated before answering.

I've only loved two women in my life – my wife and my ex-partner. The problem is I'm trying to build a life with one while the other already has what I want and cannot have.

* * *

_A/N: Thoughts? Love it? Hate it? Want more? Push that little button and give me some love in reviews!_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you so much for all the favorites and reviews - keep 'em coming! This chapter is a flashback to early in the M&amp;M partnership where Marshall realizes the depth of his feelings for Mary. This scene has again been written many times, so I challenged myself to give it a fresh spin. Let me know how I did at the end._

* * *

"_**There'll be days**_

_**We'll be on different sides**_

_**But that doesn't last too long-**_

_**. . . I don't ever see the day**_

_**That I won't catch you when you fall."**_

_**-Westlife**_

* * *

I don't know when I fell in love with Mary Shannon – but I do recall with perfect clarity the moment I realized I couldn't live without her. My partner was an adrenaline junkie and whenever things got slow around the office, she would call her old friends at FTF and see if she could lend a hand. Not just hers, mind you, but she would volunteer my services as well, since we were now partners and came as a package deal.

It didn't take very long for me to figure this out about my partner– in fact I had her pegged as an adrenaline junkie before I even recommended her to Stan. Later, my boss would accuse me of not knowing what I was getting myself into and I agreed – because to some extent, I didn't. I thought that by offering her a job in WitSec, I would be giving her a second chance to build a life for herself with people she could trust and a partner who would always have her back.

What I didn't realize was the fact that she would become my drug – that I would become addicted to her snarky attitude and that I would give my last breath to see her smile. I didn't know that I would fall in love with my partner.

* * *

**Arapaho National Forest, Colorado**

**Winter 2005**

I kicked the door open of the summer cabin and scanned the interior for intruders of the two-legged variety before stumbling across the threshold, the dead weight of my partner in my arms bringing me nearly to my knees before I could deposit her safely on the dusty cot in the corner of the large room.

As I straightened up, I scanned her unconscious form from head to toe, not knowing where to start. She was soaking wet from falling in the lake and her lips were beginning to turn blue. I knew hypothermia was setting in but her head wound was also bothering me. There was too much blood for me to accurately assess the damage – I would have to clean it first and most of our supplies had been lost. Cursing, I stripped off my down parka and gloves as I scanned the cabin's interior. I spied a cupboard in the corner and dashed over to it, throwing open the doors to see two well-worn blankets and several tins of food. Grabbing the blankets, I ran back to Mary, who by this time had started to shiver from the cold air in the cabin and my lack of body heat.

"I'm sorry, partner, but those clothes have to come off." Gritting my own teeth against the cold, I bent to unlace her heavy hiking boots, letting each one hit the floor with a loud thud.

Mary never stirred.

I paused for a moment before reaching for the button of her thick wool pants. _If she was awake, she'd kill me. Then again, once she wakes up and sees she's naked, I'm a dead man anyway. _My fingers shook from nerves as well as the cold air as I pulled and tugged and finally yanked her wet pants down and off her legs. _That was the easy part. Now for her sweater – don't look, Marshall. Mary will know if you looked and you are so dead. _I pulled my partner up against me, cradling her upper body in my arms and tried not to wince as her cold skin met my front, her shivers increasing. My fingers yanked her sweater off and I averted my eyes, not getting more than a quick glimpse of navy silk and lace covering her breasts. _I've got to warm her up fast – she's so cold. _

I had waterproof matches in my parka. Mary laughed at me for being a Boy Scout – but the truth was my supplies had saved us before and they would save us now. But I didn't know if there was any wood around or if the fireplace was in working order. What I did know was that body heat warmed someone faster than any fire. I lowered my partner back down and covered her with one of the thin blankets.

"I promise to be a gentleman, Mer, and if there was any other way- but I think we both know there isn't." I swallowed as I got to my feet and stripped down to my boxers and undershirt, my shaking getting worse as I placed my own wet pants over the back of a wooden chair. Grabbing the other blanket, I wrapped it around me and laid down next to her. Lifting the blanket covering her, I rolled Mary until she was nestled against me. I hissed as her cold, wet skin came into contact with mine but I refused to pull away. Wrapping both blankets around us until we were one huge human burrito, I finally turned my attention to the wound above her left temple. It looked like just a graze – but again, I couldn't be sure until I cleaned it. The blood had clotted so I felt like I could safely focus on getting Mary warm and tend to her wound when she woke up. If she didn't kill me when she found us in bed like this.

I have no idea how much time passed as I lay there with Mary in my arms. At first her shivering was so strong it shook both of us and the cot. I wondered if the flimsy cot would be able to hold up under the stress of her shaking and our combined weight. Eventually, her shaking began to slow and I was relieved to see her skin begin to pink up again under the blanket and her lips lose the bluish tinge that had so scared me when I had first crashed through the cabin door. I loosened my hold on her as I felt her move against me and her eyes opened; I could feel her lashes tickling my chest as she lay very still and processed the situation.

"Marshall?"

"Yes?"

"What the hell- ouch!" She reached up a hand and gently touched her temple.

"Careful – I imagine that's pretty sore." I ran a hand over hers and moved it away from her wound.

"Did I miss something?"

I frowned. "I'm sorry?"

"Did we have sex?"

I rolled to my back and exhaled. "Hell, Mary. NO! We did not have sex. Why would you even think that?"

She looked at me in disbelief. "That's usually what's happened when I wake up next to a naked man-"

I silently counted to three before answering. "OK, number one: I'm not naked and neither are you – both of us have our underwear on and have kept our underwear on the whole time, Scout's honor. Number two, you were suffering from hypothermia and have a head wound. I was trying to keep you from dying – not trying to cop a feel. Shit, Mer! I know we've only been partners for two years, but I thought you knew me better than that. I'm not some cowboy you picked up in a bar to have a quick fuck with in the bathroom. This is me, Marshall, your partner, the guy who has your back, the one who goes with you on these crazy excursions with the FTF twice a year, remember?"

"Don't yell at me, you're making my headache worse," Mary groused as she rubbed a hand over her eyes. "I – I'm sorry, OK? I know you wouldn't – but you have to admit the evidence is pretty damning."

"Yeah, well, you're welcome." I snapped back the blanket on my side and got out, setting my teeth against the cold as I reached for my discarded clothes.

"Where are you going?"

"To see if there's any firewood around here – and then see if I can find some supplies to clean that nasty head wound of yours. I'll be back."

Mary grabbed my hand. "Marshall – I am sorry. I know you would never take advantage of me like that. I just," she stopped and swallowed. "I don't have the best history where men are concerned and – I guess it's hard to realize that you're different – that you're not like the rest."

I squeezed her hand. "We're not all pigs, Mer, with one thing on our minds."

She wrapped my blanket around her shoulders, cocooning herself in its warmth. "Are you sure you're straight?"

I threw one of her hiking boots at her on the way out the door to the sound of her laughter.

* * *

"That was delicious – I can't believe you whipped this up from those old cans in the cupboard."

I shrugged. "You make do with what you have."

Mary grinned. "Meaning you gagged it down? You are such a food snob. See, I don't have such high expectations. Growing up on tuna casserole and half assed sandwiches, anything canned tastes gourmet to me."

"What, pray tell, are half assed sandwiches?"

"Basically bread and anything else you can find at the end of the month. Jinx, my mother, invented them. The original one was stale bread with mustard and saltine crackers."

"Crackers on bread?"

Mary shrugged. "I said anything you could find."

I reached over and touched the back of her hand. "You really didn't have the Norman Rockwell childhood, did you?"

She snorted. "Hardly – why do you think I was so eager to escape Jersey to come live in the desert?"

"Come on, admit it. I know you love it here – it's even starting to feel like home, isn't it?"

Mary's eyes dropped to my hand on the table next to hers. "I don't know – I've never had a home."

I started. "What? That's not true. You raised your little sister – if that's not making a home-"

She shook her head. "That wasn't a home, Marshall. It was a prison. I got the hell out of there as soon as possible and – what did you put in the food, Doofus? Why am I sitting here spilling my guts to you?"

I chuckled. "Must be your head wound – are you feeling dizzy?"

"A little."

"Do you need to lie down?"

"Why Marshall Mann, are you trying to get in my pants again?"

"Stop it. Your body has been through hell today. When Jackson fired at you and you went over that cliff, I thought-" I cleared my throat and stood, gathering our few dishes. "Do you want something for dessert? I have peaches or-"

"Marshall."

My hands stilled as my eyes darted up to meet hers. "What?"

"I'm still here."

"I know that. You dodged another one – the adrenaline junkie lives to fight another day."

"What does that mean?"

I set the plates back on the table and came around to pull her to her feet. "Do you understand how close you came this time, Mary? You were shot and you fell off a five hundred foot drop into a lake of freezing cold water. I didn't know if I'd get to you in time. Not before-" I paused to swallow the emotions, knowing she wouldn't react well to my tears.

She reached up and squeezed my shoulders. "But you did get to me in time-"

"Yes, I did, this time. But what about next time? What if I'm farther away or we're separated or not even on the same team?"

"Marshall," Mary sighed as she dropped her hands. "I don't know the future – no one lives forever and you know as well as I do that this job comes with high risks-"

I grasped her shoulders, giving her a little shake. "But you're not with the FTF anymore! Don't you see? You're my partner in WitSec. I need you to stop, Mary. I need you stop taking these assignments with the FTF that keep putting you and me in these life and death situations-"

"But they need me-"

"No, you need them. You crave the danger like a drug addict needs their fix and yet there's a part of you that wants to put down roots and have some form of stability that can happen with being my partner. We still make a difference, Mer. We still get justice for our witnesses and get the bad guys – it's just a different process. But you need to choose. I feel like you've been trying to do both jobs – and I'm saying it's time to stop."

"So you're giving me an ultimatum? It's you or FTF? I don't respond well to ultimatums, Marshall."

I dropped my hands and stepped back from her. "No, this is a partnership, not a marriage. You can walk away any time – but I'll miss you. I'll miss what we've started to build – I'll miss my friend as well as my partner. But if you want to go back to the FTF, I won't stand in your way. I won't ever stand in the way of what makes you happy."

I turned and left her standing there, before I said anything else, before I said the words that were burning brightly in my heart. _Because I love you._

* * *

I didn't sleep that night. Instead I kept watch as Mary slept in the single cot. I knew she would have shared but after realizing how deep my feelings ran for my partner, I didn't want to be that close to her so soon, skin to skin, our breaths sharing the same small space.

I knew that another FTF team would find us tomorrow, very possibly at first light. We had split into four two man teams that morning to find the fugitive Jackson, keeping in touch via walkie talkies. Ours had been clipped to Mary's parka and had been lost when she fell into the lake. Every time my eyes closed I saw her falling back, back, back over the edge of that drop into the lake below. In that moment, I had forgotten about Jackson – I hadn't even taken a parting shot. I just screamed Mary's name and ran to the edge and watched helplessly as she bounced down the cliff face and landed with a loud splash in the water below.

"Marshall."

Mary's voice brought me out of my reflections and I turned my head from the window to see her sitting up on the cot, her eyes scanning the cabin.

"I'm here," I whispered as I crossed the floor to her side. "What is it? Do you need something?"

When I was close enough, she reached out and pulled me down onto the cot, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as she collapsed against my chest. I stiffened in surprise as I felt her tears soak my shirt front, but my arms went around her as I made soothing sounds of comfort. When the onslaught lessened to sniffles, I pushed her back so I could see her face.

"What is it?"

Her eyes dropped. "Nothing – just a dream."

I nodded in understanding. "About this afternoon?"

"I'm fine – go back to – what were you doing?"

"Keeping watch for your FTF friends. I'm sure they'll be here in the morning."

She grunted. "Can't sleep?"

"Not tired."

"Liar. Come on, I'll share."

I sighed. "You need sleep more than me-"

She growled as she pulled me down next to her. "Why are you fighting me on this?"

"It's a small cot – we'll have to cuddle. I don't want you getting the wrong idea again and attacking me in the middle of the night."

She grinned. "You planning on taking my clothes off?"

I shook my head.

"You planning to jump my bones once I fall asleep?"

"You wish."

She slapped my arm. "Good night, Doofus." She rolled over, taking most of the blanket with her.

"Mary?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry about earlier – I shouldn't have been so hard on you."

She cursed under her breath as she rolled back over to face me. "Look, I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. If you're going to be my partner for the long haul, I'm going to need you to call me on my BS every now and then."

I frowned. "Meaning?"

She bit her lip before blowing out an exasperated breath. "You were right, OK? About all of it, but there was more. I was testing you."

"Testing me?"

"To see if you'd stay with me or throw your hands up in horror and leave me like-" Mary's voice trailed off and her eyes dropped.

"Like everyone else. No such luck, Mer. You're stuck with me for as long as you want me."

She raised her eyes to meet mine in the darkness. "So, partners?"

"I don't know – does this mean no more crazy twice a year missions with the FTF?"

"You do realize we could die doing our job just as easily with WitSec-" Mary pointed out with a smirk.

"See, who needs the FTF?"

She laughed. "Fine, you win! It's you and me, partners in WitSec only from now on."

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"I know I don't want to lose you as my partner, Marshall, or my friend. You're stuck with me too."

* * *

It wasn't love, and perhaps it never would be – at least not on her part. Mary had never known what love was, had never seen love or experienced it before in her growing up years. I tried to show her what love could be throughout our partnership, being there for her in whatever way she needed me and promising to never leave her.

Stan didn't believe Mary at first when we came back from Colorado and she told him that she was done taking assignments from FTF. But when two years passed and their calls went unanswered, he had to admit that Mary had successfully kept her word and was shaping up to be one of his finest inspectors, though he never admitted it in her hearing. That would only have given her a large head. This didn't mean that my partner still didn't crave action and that I didn't need to occasionally step in and slow her roll – but that was one of the things that made our partnership so great.

Now that I'm married and am Mary's boss and trying to start my own family, if I was a smart man, I'd find a way to either transfer Mary or myself to another branch. But I'm a selfish man. For even though I've claimed to have moved on, it's not true. I still can't let Mary Shannon go.

* * *

_A/N: Don't worry - there won't be a lot of flashback chapters. Most of this story is told in the present time. Please review - my Marshall muse needs the love!_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Back to the present time for this chapter. And to answer one of my reviewers, yes, I do believe that Marshall knows that Mary has always loved him in one way or another - but in the same way he loves her? Time will tell - keep reading and reviewing, friends._

* * *

"_**I tried so hard and got so far-**_

_**But in the end, it doesn't even matter."**_

_**-Linkin Park**_

* * *

I tried so hard to move on because as time passed, it was obvious that my feelings for Mary weren't going to be reciprocated. I tried to leave WitSec on more than one occasion but her eyes, her smile, her voice, and the memory of words uttered in a dusty abandoned gas station haunted me. Words that came so close to the truth, but not close enough. I couldn't leave her then and I still can't leave her now.

Abigail doesn't understand. She thinks that I'm still in love with Mary. I tell my wife over and over that she's being ridiculous, that I gave Mary up for her, that I love her, that I married her. Somehow, my words aren't getting through anymore, because Abigail has started to make unannounced visits to the office in the middle of the day. Everyone knows that she's checking up on me and I'm furious that she doesn't trust me. Haven't I proved my loyalty yet? What more do I have to do?

* * *

**Present Day**

I made sure both bedroom doors were closed before I slid the unlock button and answered my phone. "Hey, honey."

"_Are you coming home tonight?"_

_Straight to the point. _"No."

"_I'm sorry?"_

"I should have called you sooner, but I figured you would be busy with work-"

"_Well, you figured wrong. I'm never too busy to take a call from my husband."_

I collapsed on the sofa. "I'm sorry, Abby. It's been a really busy day."

"_How's Nora?"_

"She broke her left arm, but otherwise she's OK. I'm staying here with the kids until Mary gets home on Saturday."

_There was a long pause. "Why?"_

"Because everyone else is out of town-"

"_So Nora was home alone? Somehow I think Mary's a better mother than that, Marshall. I'm sure she made arrangements for her child."_

"Nora has a broken arm, Abby, and she's – I'm keeping her home from school tomorrow. She needs to be with family, not pawned off on the next door neighbor."

"_You're not family."_

Her words cut me like a knife. "I'm her godfather – look, is there a reason you called? I need to check on the kids."

"_Forgive me for wondering where my husband was. Tell me, is Mary there?"_

I lowered my voice, fighting the urge to yell. "No, she's not. She's at a hole in the wall motel in Illinois. Why don't you hang up and call her if you don't believe me?" I ended the call and turned off my phone, not wanting to deal with her multiple call backs right now. My head jerked up and around when a floorboard creaked behind me. "Nora," I spoke softly, as I stood and crossed to stand in front of her. "Did I wake you?"

She shook her head. "I had to pee and I heard you talking to someone – who was on the phone?"

"My wife, your Aunt Abigail."

Nora's lips pursed in a pout. "I hate her."

"Nora!" I scolded her as I dropped to one knee in front of her. "That's not a nice thing to say – about anyone."

"I know – but it's true. It's her fault you weren't here for Thanksgiving dinner this year-"

"I had to go and see her family in Texas."

"Why?"

"We're married – that's what married people do, go see each other's families."

"So she goes to see your family too?"

My lips twitched as I fought to keep the smile off my face. "That's different – my family isn't close like hers. It's complicated."

Nora tossed her head in such a perfect imitation of Mary that I chuckled. "Complicated – mama uses that word too. Usually when she doesn't want to explain something to me."

I tapped Nora on the nose. "You're a very smart little girl – and it's way past your bedtime."

"I can't sleep," she shuffled on her feet. "I can't get comfortable with this thing on." She waved her arm with the neon green cast in the air. "It itches."

"I know – I broke my arm when I was your age and I thought the itching would never stop until my big brother showed me a trick."

"What trick? Can you show me, Uncle Marshall? Please?"

I stood and walked into the kitchen, Nora following on my heels. She watched as I pulled open Mary's junk drawer and searched inside until I found- "Ah! Here's one!" I held the object up in triumph.

Nora frowned. "A pencil? What good will that do?"

"You'll see – hold out your arm, please."

Nora held out her cast, her eyes full of suspicion. Ever so slowly I slid the pencil up inside and rubbed it across her skin. Nora's frown melted into a smile and soon she was giggling. "That's amazing! It's working! It's working, Uncle Marshall!"

I scratched her little arm on the underside but was careful to avoid where the actual break was – I didn't want to make things worse. Slowly I withdrew the pencil and put it back in the drawer. "That's enough for now – bedtime, love bug."

"Can I sleep with you?"

Her request melted my heart. Nora was growing up so fast and soon she would be too old for me to honor requests such as this. "I was just going to crash on the couch."

"Mama won't mind if you take her bed."

I grinned. "She won't, huh?" I knew Mary wouldn't but to hear the words coming from her five year old daughter cracked me up. "How do you know that?"

"She told me when I talked to her tonight. She said 'Don't let Uncle Marshall sleep on the couch, Bug. Tell him to sleep in my room, OK?'"

This time I did laugh as Nora pulled off a perfect impression of Mary. "We'll have to be very quiet as we change the sheets so we don't wake George."

Nora nodded. "Oh, and she also said for you to make chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast."

My eyes narrowed. "She did not."

"Uh huh."

"Your nose is growing, Pinocchio."

Nora giggled and ran towards Mary's room as I chased her, my heart full of love. _Why do I always want the one thing I can't have?_

* * *

Delia knocked on the doorframe of my office. "Chief, there's a Sgt. Drakini here to see you."

My head shot up from the file I was studying. "From APD?"

"Yes, but I don't think he's here in any official capacity."

I leaned back in my chair and took the readers off my nose. "What makes you say that?"

"He wanted to know if Mary Shannon, the mother of Nora Shannon was here, and when I said no, he said he wanted a word with you. Said it was about some incident at Nora's school-"

I was already shrugging my suit jacket on and straightening my tie by the time the words "mother of Nora" had left Delia's mouth. So Jerry's father was here and he was a cop. "Where did you put him?"

"In the conference room – careful, boss man, he seems a bit of a loose cannon."

"Hmm," was my noncommittal reply as I crossed the floor and opened the door to the fish bowl. "Sargent Drakini? I'm Chief Inspector Mann-"

"Yes, we've met."

I frowned at the stocky athletic man in front of me. Upon closer inspection, the man did look vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite-

I snapped my fingers. "Of course! You're in my wife's unit, aren't you? You came to the wedding and our New Year's Eve Party last year-"

"Yes, me and the wife. Name's Paul Drakini-" He held out his hand and we shook. "Look, this is kind of awkward and I was really hoping I could talk to Inspector Shannon about this directly but your receptionist-"

"Delia is an Inspector."

"Oh, what a lucky guy you are! Rooster in a henhouse, eh?"

The smile slipped from my face. "What can I do for you, Drakini?"

"Well, I don't know if you're aware of this, but our kids got into a scrap on the playground yesterday and fact of the matter is, Nora broke my little Jerry's nose."

"I'm aware of the situation."

Paul's eyebrow's rose in surprise. "You are?"

"Yes, I'm Nora's godfather – and since Mary is out of town, the school contacted me after the – altercation."

"Yeah, well, my kid says that Nora attacked him for no reason – and I'm not going to stand for that. I want to know-"

"You want to know what, Mr. Drakini?" I cut him off, my voice low and soft. "You want to know how Nora is going to be punished for breaking your innocent angel's nose? You want to know how much Mary Shannon is willing to pay of your son's medical bills?"

"Well – yeah."

"Let me tell you what really happened, Paul. Nora was playing on the monkey bars with another friend when your innocent little boy came over and started to tease Nora's friend about her lisp. Nora and the other girl ignored him. That's when your innocent Jerry turned his attentions on Nora, and out of the blue called her mother a whore, a word he learned from his father. Now, I want to know something too – do you often talk like that in front of your child? And who is Mary Shannon to you? Do you know her personally? Or is she just someone to gossip about around the water cooler at the APD?"

Paul flushed beet red. "You have no proof that's what happened – it's your kid's word against mine."

"I don't think Nora would make up a story like that about her mother – and she'd never heard the word 'whore' before yesterday. How can you explain that?"

The other man fidgeted. "Let's just forget I came here – OK? Jerry's nose and Nora's arm will heal and I'm sure the kids will make things up once school starts again next year." Paul moved towards the door but Marshall stepped into his path.

"So that's it? Sweep it under the rug all nice and neat?"

"Sure, no harm no foul."

"Still doesn't explain why you're calling Mary Shannon a whore."

Paul looked at me for a moment in disbelief and then laughed. "Come on, you were her partner for what – ten years before you got promoted? You know her reputation- Shannon will spread her legs for any man who winks at her."

My pulse was pounding in my ears and I felt my hands clench into fists. _I will not punch him. I will NOT punch him. _"Really? I thought she'd settled down since having a kid."

Paul shrugged. "Maybe – but then again, who knows what she does on those frequent road trips out of town, eh? And she claims that this Mark guy is the father of her kid, but between you and me, I bet she doesn't really know for sure."

I was seeing red now but Delia poked her head in and said that I had an important call on hold. "Excuse me, Drakini. Delia, please show our guest out." In an angry daze I stalked to my office and watched from behind the glass as the Sargent was escorted out.

I waited until the elevator doors closed behind him before with a roar of rage, I rammed my fist into the glass wall of my office. The glass cracked but held and I pulled my bloody fist back, staring down at the embedded glass and multiple cuts in my flesh.

Delia came running and stared in shock, first at the large crack, then at my hand. "What the hell? I was trying to prevent you from hitting him – that's why I interrupted you, Chief. You looked like you were about to blow your stack in there."

"Well, thank you, Dee. You did save me from hitting his face. Now I just have to pay for the glass and get my hand attended to."

"What on earth did that man say to you? You're usually so calm and level headed – it must have been something pretty derogatory."

I waved my good hand at her. "Leave it alone. It's nothing, all right?"

She crossed her arms. "Nothing? You tried to put your fist through a glass wall for nothing?"

I shrugged into my coat, cradling my injured hand against my chest. "I've been under a lot of stress lately-"

She caught the sleeve of my coat as I passed by. "Do you need someone to talk to? Because I'm here-"

I shook my head. "Thanks, but no. What I need is for you to hold down the fort. I'm headed back to the ER – for me this time. Then I'll go check on the kids-"

Delia shook her head. "Whose kids?"

"Sorry – Nora and George. I'll call you once I'm at Mary's and if it's quiet I may just take the rest of the day off."

"Why don't I just call you if something comes up?"

"Thanks, Dee."

The elevator doors were sliding closed when Delia held up her hand between them and stuck her face through. "What do I say if your wife calls or stops by?"

I sighed. "She knows where I am – just don't tell her about me punching the wall."

* * *

"Uncle Mars!"

I dropped my keys on the hall table and turned in time to catch the flying blur of George as he wrapped himself around my legs. "Hey Sport! I've only been gone for half a day-"

"But in child time that's like a week, Marshall." Joanna laughed at me from the couch where she was playing 'Go Fish' with Nora.

"Why are you home so soon?" Nora demanded, not taking her eyes off her cards. "Do you have any 3's?"

Joanna shook her head. "Go fish."

I moaned. "One of you is ecstatic I'm home and the other is wondering why I'm here – hmm, what's wrong with this picture?" I swung George up into my arms, ignoring the stinging sensations that the action provoked in my injured hand. "I thought I'd come home for lunch – is that OK with all of you?"

"Jo-Jo made lasagna," Nora set her cards on the table and came over to me, her eyes zeroing in on my bandaged hand. "Uncle Marshall, what happened to your hand?"

"An on the job injury, love bug, it's fine, nothing for you to worry about."

"You're lying."

"Nora!" Joanna gasped.

"Well, he is! I can always tell when Uncle Marshall is lying."

"How?" I asked in amusement.

"You don't look me in the eyes – you look at my forehead or the tip of my nose, but not in my eyes."

Joanna laughed. "You're busted, Marshall."

I set George down and he ran off into the other room, whooping all the way. Kneeling down beside her, I was careful to lock eyes with her. "I am OK, Nora, I promise. But as to what happened, well, it's-"

"Complicated?" Nora grinned.

I reached out and gently pulled on one of her pigtails. "See? Too smart for your own good."

The doorbell rang and interrupted our moment.

"I get it!" George yelled as he ran past me.

"Wait up, Sport. You can't just answer the door without an adult-" I grabbed hold of his overalls. "It's not safe, OK?"

George nodded somberly.

I chuckled as I swung open the door to see Abigail standing on the doorstep.

"Abby, what are you-"

"Marshall, where the hell have you been? I've been all over town looking for you! I went to the office and saw the damage and Delia wouldn't tell me anything. What the hell happened at work today?"

"Abby, please," I hushed her as I motioned to a wide eyed George in my arms and both of us looked down to see Nora peeking around from behind my hip.

"Nora, how are you?" Abigail smiled at her.

"Fine."

I set George down next to his cousin. "Nora, why don't you go back inside and check on that lasagna with Jo Jo?"

Nora took George's hand. "What about you?"

"I'll be there in a minute."

Nora looked from me to Abigail and back to me again. "You're not leaving with her?"

I heard Abigail gasp behind me as I shook my head. "I'm staying until your mom gets home tomorrow, remember?"

"OK, as long as she knows that. Come on, Georgie."

I stepped onto the small porch and shut the front door behind me.

"I can't believe you're letting a five year old dictate your life."

"She's not – I told Mary I would stay until she got home and I'm not going back on my word."

"Of course not, the great Marshall Mann never breaks a promise to Mary Shannon."

I blew out a breath. "I've never broken one to you either. Abigail, I think you need to go back to work, or go home and get some rest. If you stay, one or both of us is going to say something we'll regret."

"Not until you tell me what happened at the office. Did a witness do that?"

"No." I swallowed. "I did."

"What – why?"

"I've been under a lot of pressure lately and I guess I just needed to blow off some steam-"

She stared at me for a long moment before throwing back her head and laughing. "Come on, Marshall, this is me, your wife. You can't fool me with that BS. Something or someone really got under your skin and I'm betting it has something to do with Mary because if it was anything else, you'd just come right out and tell me."

"Abby-"

"I knew it. This is about her! It's always about her."

"Will you keep your voice down, please?" I darted an anxious glance over my shoulder at the house. "It's something that has to do with Mary, yes, but not the way you think – it's about what happened to Nora yesterday at school-"

Abigail turned and walked away. "I don't want to hear it, Marshall. I'm tired of your excuses and rationalizations. I'm tired of waiting for you to put us and our relationship first."

I caught up to her and swung her around to face me. "What are you talking about? I've done nothing but – haven't I proven over and over to you how committed I am to our marriage? What more do you want from me?"

"I need to know I can trust you. I need to know that when you're at the office with her, the two of you aren't sneaking off to-" Abigail's voice broke.

"Abby! Mary and I have never had sex – not before our marriage and definitely not after. I don't know what more I can do or say to convince you. If you don't trust me, then-" I shrugged and dropped my hands.

She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, trying to recapture the warmth from my hands. "That's just it, Marshall. I don't trust you – not with her. And I don't know if I ever can."

* * *

_A/N: Wow - Abigail just gave Marshall a sucker punch to the gut. I don't even really like her but part of me feels for her. What do you think - yes? No? Reviews are LOVE._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: This is another flashback chapter - picks up right after Marshall's infamous "messy" speech to Mary at the end of S3. I never would have gone this way so soon after the series ended because we as fans were all too ticked off and writing 'fix it' fic. I feel that I must post a reminder that this fiction piece was "unrequited love with ANGST" and this chapter definitely delivers that. Hang in there, readers, it WILL get better._

* * *

"_**What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do"**_

_**-Rascal Flatts**_

* * *

Where did you go in a relationship without trust? I trust Abigail. I know she wants a child, my child, and that desire currently consumes her to the point of hormonal madness. Maybe that's what was bringing up all these old issues and petty jealousies that I thought we had resolved the day I had asked Mary for my freedom and we had both successfully backed away from a decade of partnership and something undefinable. Something complicated.

I hadn't lied to Abigail. Mary and I have never had sex – but there had been one night where things had definitely rounded second base before I applied the brakes. The fact that it had happened before I had ever met my wife in my eyes made it a moot point. It just would have added more ammunition to her claims that I was still harboring feelings for my old partner – when the truth of the matter was that night had nearly destroyed us. I should have never opened the door to Mary that night – I should have been stronger, I should have pushed her away after one kiss.

Because the taste of her kisses, the silkiness of her skin against mine – when I do allow that memory to resurface, haunts me still. And I have to find a way to let it go– to let Mary go –

Because I'm married and I love my wife.

* * *

**June 2010**

"Open the fucking door, Marshall."

I ignored my partner's banging and her colorful language as I tossed back another shot of tequila and enjoyed the burn as I poured myself another shot. "Go away, Mary. There's no cowboys in here for you to blow off steam with – try the bar three blocks down."

More cursing came from the other side of my locked door as I heard my partner lean against the wood. "Did you change your locks? My key isn't working!"

I groaned as I staggered to my feet. "No – you must just be too drunk to get the key in the lock." Flipping the dead bolt, I threw open the door and nearly laughed aloud as Mary fell at my feet. "That was graceful. Is there something I can do for you?"

Mary scrambled to her feet with the grace of a wildcat and slammed my front door. "Shut up." She grabbed me by the collar of my dress shirt and spun us until I was pressed into the wood. "Don't speak – just-" She growled as her lips slammed into mine.

For several seconds, I was too stunned to react. Then something inside of me snapped and I grabbed her around the hips and ground our lower bodies together as I heard her moan into our kiss. She tasted of scotch and I knew she had probably been drinking from the bottle she kept hidden in her bottom desk drawer before coming over here. Her fingers crept between us and started to undo the buttons on my shirt but mine closed over hers as I wrenched my face away.

"What are you doing here, Mary? Is this-"

"Don't speak." She repeated the words before biting the skin of my neck just below my chin.

This time, it was me that grabbed her lips in another fierce kiss as our hands closed over buttons and tugged and soon both of us were bare from the waist up. Her hands were trailing over my chest and I had handfuls of something I didn't think I'd ever get to touch. As I lowered my head to kiss her breastbone, I whispered, "Mer, are we really going to do this against my front door?"

She laughed and hooked her thumbs in my belt loops, popping the button on my pants. "I don't think I can wait-"

My mouth cut off her words as our pants joined shirts on the floor and I pulled her back into me, trying hard not to lose it just from the contact of her skin against mine. I peppered her face, neck, and chest with little nips and sips from my lips. I was trying hard to turn my brain off and just be with her here in this moment, a moment that was eight years in the making – but I still had a niggling prick of fear that wouldn't leave me alone. I needed to know that this wasn't a one night stand – that Mary was ready to take our partnership to the next level with me and that she wasn't just here to blow off steam.

"Why are you here, Mary?" I whispered the words against her breasts and she shivered, my warm breath tickling her skin.

I could feel her smile against the side of my head. "I've decided I like messy."

I shivered as I dropped my hands and stepped back.

"Marshall? What the hell?"

"Mary – does this mean you want messy with me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Would I be here with you, nearly naked in your living room if I didn't?"

I shook my head. "That's not the question: do you want messy with me? I poured my heart out to you in the office this afternoon and you ran away. Now you're here – throwing yourself at me instead of telling me how you feel, what you want. I need to know that if we cross this line tonight, you'll still be here when I wake up tomorrow."

She smiled and stepped back into my personal space, fusing our skin together. "You're thinking too much – and you're definitely talking too much. Why are you making this so hard?"

"It's not supposed to be hard, Mer, but nothing worth having is easy – especially with you. We've been partners for over seven years now – today I let you know I want more. You're it for me, Mary Shannon. Can you say the same? Can you tell me what you want?"

She shivered and drew back, hugging her naked flesh. "I'm cold. Where's my shirt?"

I sighed and pointed. "Over there."

She didn't look at me as she tugged her shirt over her head. "I don't know what you want me to say, Marshall. I missed my plane to-"

"I'm sure there's another one in the morning." I tugged my pants up my legs and held her own pair out to her. She took them and I stared at her a long moment before I moved away to find my shot glass.

"Marshall, wait-"

I turned to look at her. "What?"

"We can't leave things like this."

"That's where you're wrong," I said darkly, as I poured myself another shot and downed it. "I think it's past time for you to leave."

"Marshall-"

"You really don't get it, do you?" I whirled on her in a fury. "I've laid my heart out there twice in one day – and both times you've trampled it. I'm not doing it a third time. So get this through your thick head, Shannon. Some things are not all about you and your needs. I know you need sex and release – but you're not getting it here, all right? I'm not on call twenty four hours a day to be your whipping boy. I'm done. Go find yourself some cowboy in a bar to have a quick fuck with in the backroom."

Mary reeled back as if I'd physically slapped her. "I can't believe – that's not why I came here."

I laughed dryly. "Isn't it? You didn't come for a quick fuck with your partner? Or was it going to be a pity fuck? That's it, isn't it? You felt sorry for me, because I'm hopelessly in love with you and you thought you'd fake it for one night, give me a fantasy-"

Mary crossed the room and slapped my face, hard. "Stop it, Marshall!"

I blinked, once, twice, before nodding. "You should go."

"What, no. We need to talk. I'm not going to get on a plane to Mexico and go on vacation for the next month and not know – God, Marshall, tell me this hasn't ruined us. Please."

"The time apart will be good for us – you can use the time to think about what it is you really want."

"I don't want you thinking that I'm going to come back ready to – I mean, hell, I do love you, Marshall, but-"

I held up a hand. "Please, I'm begging you, don't finish that sentence. I've heard it all before. Just go."

She grabbed my hand. "Promise me you'll be here when I get back."

I looked into her eyes and felt my heart breaking even more as the words she wanted me to say stuck in my throat. "Have a safe flight."

* * *

"Marshall, my office now."

I looked up in surprise as Stan bellowed for me from his office. _What could I have done now? _The office had been incredibly quiet and peaceful without Mary and I had managed to handle her witnesses as well as mine without any major crises. The increased workload had me working twelve to fourteen hour days and maybe that's why Stan was calling me in on the carpet. I had been drinking more coffee than usual but I thought I was dealing with my insomnia as well as could be expected since every time I closed my eyes I relived my last evening with Mary.

"Yeah, Stan, what is it?"

"Close the door and have a seat."

My heart in my throat, I followed his instructions and waited for Stan to finish reading the file and add his signature before he took off his readers and looked at me, lacing his fingers together on the desktop. "You know I don't like to get involved in the private lives of my inspectors."

I grinned. "What are you talking about? We're your kids and we call you Papa Stan."

"Yeah, well, officially, I don't like to get involved."

"If you say so."

"Damn it, Marshall, what's going on with you and Mary?"

The smile slipped from my face and I focused my gaze at a spot over his left shoulder. "I don't know what you mean."

"Cut the crap. The morning after she left for vacation, you came in with a red handprint on your cheek – and if that wasn't enough, you were hung over! Never, in all the time you've worked in this office, have you come to work hung over."

"I don't see what this has to do with Mary-"

"Do you think I'm stupid? I've watched the tap dance the two of you have been doing for the past few years. You're over the moon for her and she – well, Mary's not comfortable with her emotions, so she's harder to read."

"She doesn't share them."

"Oh? How do you know?"

"Because she told me – after I told her how I felt."

Stan's mouth fell open and then snapped shut. "This happened the day before she left, I take it?"

I nodded.

"That why she slapped you?"

I flushed. "Not exactly."

Stan waved his hand. "Never mind – I don't want to know. What I need to know is if the two of you are going to be able to salvage this partnership – or even work in the same office together."

"I don't have an answer for you right now, Stan."

"Things are that uncertain between you two?"

"They are for me."

"I see. I think it's only fair to warn you that Mary's due back to work on Monday."

"Then I'd officially like to request some of my own vacation time starting Monday to sort things out."

"Granted. How long will you be gone?"

"I'll take a month – go see my folks."

"What should I tell your partner?"

"Just that I had to use my own vacation time or lose it."

"She won't wonder about the timing?"

"I'm sure she will but I have to get away to clear my head, Stan. If I don't, I'm afraid my transfer papers would be on your desk next week."

"I don't want to lose you, Marshall, but I don't want you to stay in a toxic partnership. You have to do what's best for you. Mary Shannon, up to this point, has been good for you, and vice versa. But unfortunately, there may come a time when you will have to cut each other free and go your separate ways."

"I know, Stan, I just-"

"What?"

"No matter what's gone on in our privates lives, I have to know that she'll be OK."

"And what about you? I want you to be OK as well."

I nodded thoughtfully. "I want that too."

* * *

I kept my cell phone off the entire month I was on vacation. Periodically I would turn it on to be sure Stan hadn't called with witness crises, but when I saw that I had only missed calls from Mary and that she had left multiple voicemails, I would turn it back off without answering. Part of me knew I was being childish in not at least sending her a text to let her know I was OK, but then I knew it wouldn't have remained that simple. She would have immediately called me back and I really didn't feel like talking to her. The whole point of this vacation was to get away from my life in Albuquerque and I intended to do just that. I could deal with my partner's hurt and anger when I got home.

Mom was thrilled to see me. She declared that I had lost ten pounds since she had last seen me and tried her best to fatten me up, though my weight only fluctuated by a pound or two in either direction. Dad was away on assignments with the FTF, but he was home for a couple of days, long enough for us both to grow uncomfortable and be secretly relieved when it was time for him to leave again.

I didn't let anyone know when I was coming home, not even Stan for fear that Mary would wheedle the info out of him. So when I walked back into the Sunshine Building in mid-August, everyone was out and I sighed in relief. I sat down at my desk and powered up the computer and was soon lost in files and checkpoints.

A few minutes later I heard the elevator ding and Mary's voice. "Stan, that's ridiculous! The FBI is just trying to screw us over again! This is my witness and they can't just come marching in like-"

"Now, Inspector-" Stan soothed her as he swiped his card through the reader and the door buzzed open. "What is your beef with the FBI?"

"You'd have something against them too if they trashed your house looking for contraband and then didn't fix it for over a year," I chimed in from my desk.

"Marshall!" Stan strode over to my desk. "Welcome back! How are your folks?"

"Good – well, mom is a little lonely since dad's gone so much. She enjoyed having me home to fatten up and dote on."

While I was talking to Stan, I noticed that my partner was frozen in place, staring at me as if she couldn't believe I was back in the office, like nothing had happened and we hadn't seen each other in two months. Stan looked between us and cleared his throat, as he backed away to his office and I rose to my feet.

"Mary?" I spoke softly. "Are you-"

She shook herself slightly. "So, you're back? Did you have a good time?"

"Yes, I did."

"Well, good. I did too. I brought you back some nuts but you've been gone for so long and I got hungry one day and-"

"Mary, stop."

She glared at me. "Stop what? Talking? I thought that's what you wanted me to do. Talk and tell you how I felt."

"That's not what you're doing – you're avoiding again."

"Avoiding?"

I nodded. "Talking in circles to avoid telling me how you really feel."

She crossed over to her desk. "That's rich! I'm not the one who ran this time, Marshall. You did! I got back from vacation and you weren't here. So I called and called and you never answered – I began to think-" her voice stopped.

"What?"

"Forget it. It's not important." She went over and opened the doors to the balcony, slamming them behind her.

With a sigh, I got up and followed her. "Yes, it is important. Mary, I knew you'd be upset because I didn't call you back but I needed time to work through things-"

"And one month wasn't enough time to do that?"

I spread my hands out in supplication. "When would I have had time to do that when you were gone? I had your witnesses on top of mine, all our paperwork – I was working twelve to fourteen hour days. Some nights I crashed in the conference room-"

"Doesn't mean you didn't run away when you found out I was coming home."

I nodded. "OK, perhaps I did run. But can you blame me? After the way we left things – I needed to clear my head."

Mary finally turned around to face me. "I totally ruined everything, didn't I? You don't want to be partners anymore."

The pain in her voice nearly brought me to my knees. "Look, I'm not going to lie to you – the day after you left, I had a copy of my transfer papers drafted and ready to give to Stan."

She flinched.

"But I still have them. I promised myself long ago that if I ever told you how I felt and it didn't work out, that I would try to salvage our friendship, our partnership. I want to try and keep that promise, if you still want to be partners with me."

"How can you even – of course I want to be your partner, Marshall. I don't think I could do this job without you."

I reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "Yes, you could."

She shrugged. "Well, our witnesses like you better than me."

I laughed. "That's true."

She hit my shoulder, running her hand down my arm to capture my hand. "Jackass. But – we're OK?"

I squeezed her hand back before letting go. "We will be."

* * *

That night is so long ago now that it seems like a dream. Part dream, part nightmare. There isn't a doubt in my mind that if Mary and I had gone through with it, if we had had sex that night, it would have been the end of us. Because in the light of the morning she would have run and I wouldn't have stayed in Albuquerque. Those transfer papers would have been on Stan's desk and I would have been in a new WitSec office by the time Mary returned from her Mexico vacation with Faber. So in the end, our near miss was a good thing, because it gave us two more years together as partners.

But now as Stan's long ago warning about there coming a time when I would need to cut Mary free and walk away, along with my wife's words that she didn't trust me with her, I knew decision time was upon me. I couldn't very well ask or tell Mary she needed to transfer. She had built a life for herself here – and Jinx had opened a ballet dance studio here. No, Mary's entire life was here. It wasn't fair to ask her to transfer.

I would have to be the one to leave Albuquerque. It was just me and Abigail. She could get a job in another police department easily but I wondered if I would have to start from the ground up in another WitSec office. I didn't want to leave. I had also built my life here. Albuquerque was where I'd fallen in love for the first time, and had met and married my wife.

Problem was, those things hadn't been with the same woman – and that's why it was time to move on.

* * *

_A/N: How will Marshall move on - can he move on? Stay tuned - And Reviews are LOVE!_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I hope you are all still reading and enjoying this story - I promise you that I am still a complete M&amp;M shipper all the way - so just hang on. Mary will be coming home soon. Meanwhile, Marshall calls Stan for some advice - will he like what he hears?_

* * *

"_**It's all ending  
I gotta stop pretending who we are...  
You and me I can see us dying...are we?"**_

_**-No Doubt**_

* * *

**Present Day**

"Ew, gross! Uncle Marshall! Georgie peed all over the floor!"

I groaned and opened my eyes to see that weak sunlight was just beginning to stream into the bedroom. My fingers groped on the nightstand for my phone and I squinted at the display, my eyes finally focusing on the time: 7:22am. The alarm was set for 7:25, so the kids hadn't woken me up too early but since I had stared at the ceiling until after 5am, I felt like I'd gotten no sleep.

"UNCLE MARSHALL!"

Nora's yell had me on my feet and stumbling into the bathroom as my brain registered the fact that I hadn't heard the kids get up. _Some father you'd make. _I stepped into the bathroom to find Nora standing in front of the child sized potty, her hands on her hips, her nose crinkled in disgust. Georgie was sitting on the potty, his head hanging down in shame, as a puddle was growing larger on the floor.

I cleared my throat. "Nora, go back to bed. I'll help Georgie clean up."

"I can-"

"I've got this." My voice was firm and held no room for argument. It was a tone her mother knew quite well and I watched as her daughter turned and left without a word. I sighed and rubbed a hand down my face, smothering a yawn. "OK, young man, let's get this cleaned up, eh?"

"I didn't mean to."

I crouched down next to him. "I know that, Sport. Accidents happen, it's OK. Next time, just remember to point it down, OK?"

Georgie nodded. "I forgot – and then Ray got mad."

I shook my head as I wiped up the urine with some toilet paper. "No, she's not mad. She just doesn't like messes – she's like her mother in that regard."

"I want my mama."

I dropped the paper and ignoring the fact that his lower body was covered in urine, I picked him up and cuddled him close. "I know, Sport, I know."

"She come home soon?"

My heart was breaking for this innocent child caught in the crosshairs of Brandi's life choices. _Where the hell are you, Brandi Shannon? Don't you know how much your child misses you? _

"Are you done, Uncle Marshall? I'm hungry."

I turned to see Nora standing in the doorway, her head cocked to one side. "Just a minute." I reached for some baby wipes and cleaned Georgie very carefully before putting another pull up on him. "Nora, take your cousin and get him some dry pajamas and watch a show while I finish up in here."

Nora shook her head at me. "You're slow in the mornings – mama is much faster." She grabbed Georgie's hand and tugged him out of the bathroom. "Come on, Georgie. Maybe Uncle Marshall will move faster without us."

Her words made my heart pound and for a moment I couldn't catch my breath. _She's right – I'm moving like a slug this morning when I'm usually quick on the draw. What's wrong with me? I feel like I've been shot and left for dead. _

My conversation with Abigail the day before had haunted me – had stirred up memories of the past that I thought I'd dealt with, or certainly buried long ago. I didn't know where to go from here. A marriage without trust wasn't a marriage – and yet I couldn't just walk away. I wasn't that kind of man; my mother hadn't raised me to be the kind of man that walked out on a lifelong commitment. But the only other choice was to leave Albuquerque – to leave Mary and these kids behind forever. I knew that Mary would be OK, she had Nora in her life now and that made all the difference.

But I knew that my goddaughter would never forgive me if I left – and it was her eyes that haunted me now. As her little body had curled around mine in sleep last night, it was her I thought about and her my heart broke for. Even if Abigail and I one day did have children of our own, they could never replace Nora in my heart.

And what about Georgie? What if Brandi never came back? My godson would need a father figure – someone to be there for him, to show him things, to help him and I could do that. With renewed energy and determination, I finished cleaning the bathroom and went back to the bedroom to find a clean T-shirt.

I just couldn't pack up and leave these kids – not now. This wasn't about me and Mary, or me and Abigail. This was about being there for Nora and Georgie. I couldn't, wouldn't walk out on them.

"Uncle Marshall!"

I smiled. "I'm coming. Hold your horses, love bug."

* * *

"Well, well, well! What's all this?" Delia smiled as I held the door open for Nora and Georgie.

"Hi, Dee." Nora smiled back. "Do you have any muffins?"

"Hmm, no muffins – but I do have cookies. If your uncle says it's all right-"

Nora turned on me with big eyes. 'Please?"

"Just one – it's only nine o'clock. And bring Georgie one too, please."

Dee took Nora's hand and they skipped into the kitchenette. Georgie was looking around him with wide eyes and I dropped to a crouch beside him. "Remember what we talked about on the way over here?"

He nodded. "This is your work – no running or yelling. But I can play wif my toys."

I chuckled and ruffled his hair. "That's right, Sport." Shrugging the duffle bag off my shoulder I handed it to him. "Why don't you go play behind that desk right there? It's your Aunt Mary's."

"Ok, Uncle Mars."

I stayed and watched as he dragged the bag across the floor, until he disappeared behind Mary's desk. I heard the zipper and then Georgie was making car noises as he took out his cars and trucks.

Nora and Delia came back into the room, their eyes looking around in confusion.

"Where's Georgie? I have his cookie."

"Behind your mom's desk with his toys."

Nora ran over and I heard a squeal that must have meant she gave him his cookie. I smiled and turned back to Delia. "Sorry about the kids, Dee. Joanna had a last minute doctor's appointment and-"

"Don't worry about it, Chief. We have kids in the office all the time, remember?"

"Yes, but they belong to our witnesses. It's different when it's family."

She gave me a long look but said nothing. "The glass people are coming at eleven to fix your wall."

I grimaced and turned to look at the damage I had inflicted on the office yesterday. The wall was still standing, but the crack seemed to have lengthened overnight and I was glad it would be fixed today. "Did they give you an estimate? I'd like to know how much I'm going to have to pay out-of-pocket-"

"Nothing."

"I'm sorry – did you say nothing?"

Delia grinned. "That's right. When they came yesterday afternoon to do an initial assessment, they assumed it was a work casualty and I didn't correct them."

"But Dee, that's not true. I can't-"

"Yes, you can. It will break you financially to pay for that glass, Chief. We were the only ones here when it happened and I'm not going to say anything – are you?"

"I don't feel right about writing it off as a business expense."

"Look at it this way, how many times do you think Stan covered for you and Mary?"

"That's different – we didn't destroy federal property, Dee."

"But he bent the rules, looked the other way on more than instance, didn't he?"

"Well, yes."

"So? I think this qualifies. Look if you have a problem with it, why don't you call and ask his advice?"

* * *

Stan wasn't online, which meant he was probably in one of his multiple meetings. I busied myself with my never-ending mountain of paperwork and tried again an hour later. This time, I hit pay dirt and Stan picked up my Skype call right away.

"Marshall! Happy holidays!"

I smiled and took off my readers, leaning forward to smile at the image of my old boss on my computer screen. "Merry Christmas, Stan. How are you?"

"Can't complain. And how's married life treating you?"

"Married life is – complicated."

Stan frowned at me on the screen. "The honeymoon shouldn't be over this soon, Marshall. What's wrong?"

"I – I don't – that's not why I called, Stan. I don't want to trouble you-"

"I'm still your friend and you can talk to me. You look like hell, Marshall. What have you been doing to yourself? Is the job getting to you?"

I shook my head. "No, the job is fine. The first year was rough, just like you said it would be, but then I found my rhythm and things have been running pretty smoothly. Mary prefers to work on her own as much as possible," I shrugged. "-but that shouldn't come as a surprise. The only person she could ever work with was, well-"

"You." Stan spoke firmly. "Are things going all right in that department? She still listening to you?"

I grinned. "As much as she ever did – I've had to write her up once or twice-"

Stan laughed. "If that's all, count yourself lucky. I wrote her up once or twice a month, Marshall. If you've only had to write her up once or twice over the past three years, both of you must be doing something right. You must have found your groove."

"I think we have – but Abigail-" I swallowed, the words getting stuck in my throat.

"She's having a hard time with it, isn't she?"

I nodded.

"It's hard on wives – the long hours we work and our not being able to share the nature of our work-"

"That's not it, Stan. Oh sure, in the beginning, she struggled some with my increased workload but lately-"

"Lately-" Stan prompted me.

"We've been trying to get pregnant and I'm afraid it's driving my wife a bit crazy. It's all she can think about – and if I give her even a hint that I'm not as passionate as she is about starting a family, she goes ape shit crazy on me." I ran a hand through my hair. "On top of that, she's started to make unannounced visits to the office in the middle of the day-"

"For what? A little nookie-"

"God, no! Nothing like that." I swallowed. "She's – checking up on me. To make sure I'm not sneaking off with Mary, doing anything I shouldn't."

"Are you?"

"Stan! Of course not! I love my wife. I would never, ever cheat on her."

"Then why does she think you are?"

"Because she's a hormonal mess! Nothing I say or do is getting through to her right now – she told me last night that she doesn't trust me around Mary," I groaned. "I don't know what to do. A marriage without trust isn't much of a marriage."

Stan looked at me for a long moment without saying anything. Then he spoke softly. "Do you want to save your marriage, Marshall?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?"

"One that you need to answer." Stan took a deep breath before continuing. "You're not going to like what I'm about to say. I think Abigail's right."

I nearly fell out of my chair. "What? You honestly think I've cheated on-"

Stan held up his hand. "Not physically, no. But emotionally? Can you honestly tell me that if Mary needed you, you still wouldn't drop everything and run to her, no matter the cost?"

I gulped and averted my eyes as I recalled the desperate phone call of a couple days ago, Mary begging me to go to Nora, and without thought I had got up and left my wife, while we were in the middle of . . . I flushed angrily. "It's no longer a daily occurrence like it was when we were partners, Stan. I asked for my freedom and Mary let me go."

"But did you release her? A wise man knows when to remove himself from temptation – and you stayed, Marshall. You work beside her every day – because you want to have your cake and eat it too."

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"Because I don't think you're being fair to either woman in your life – or yourself. I know you love your wife, and you are an honorable man. I know that you'll never go back on your wedding vows. But I think you need to take a good, hard look at your heart, Marshall Mann, and see if being married to Abigail for the rest of your life is what you truly want."

I hung my head as I stared at the wedding band on my finger. "I do love her, Stan – and it doesn't matter anyway. Mary and I – it would never work. You know that. She doesn't – she never – and I don't – Oh God." I blundered to a stop.

"Marshall."

My head shot up to see Delia poking her head in my office door. "The glass people are here."

"Give me five minutes, all right?"

She nodded, her face creased in concern as she backed out.

"The glass people?" Stan questioned.

"That's the real reason I called you – to ask your advice. I, uh, put my fist through the glass wall of the office yesterday-"

"Shit, man! Are you all right?"

I waved his concern away. "Fine, fine. But I was wondering what I should do about the cost. Delia thinks I should write it off as a business expense but I don't feel right about that-"

Stan chuckled. "Why?"

"Because I broke it, not some witness."

"So? Marshall, let me tell you something. Do you remember when Mary broke her computer after she came back from her kidnapping?"

I nodded.

"Do you think I paid for that? Hell no. And, just between the two of us, I also went on a little rampage of my own when Eleanor left."

"You did?"

"Yep. Sent my computer threw the glass wall – and it shattered completely. Do you think I paid for that? Nope."

"So I should just-"

"Keep your mouth shut and write it off."

"But-"

"But nothing. You've got bigger problems than going broke over glass repair, am I right?"

"You're right."

* * *

Joanna was playing with Nora and Georgie when I exited my office after I hung up the Skype call with Stan. Georgie gave me a flying tackle hug before resuming his place on the floor and picking up his toy train, making chugging sounds. Nora stood up slowly and crossed to my side, her eyes studying me silently.

"Your nose is red."

"I just blew it."

She shook her head. "You've been crying."

"Nora," Joanna rebuked her softly. "It's not nice to contradict adults. If something's wrong and Marshall doesn't want to talk about it, that's his decision."

"What's wrong?" Nora demanded. "Is it about mama?"

My heart leapt in my chest. "No, Nora, your mom is fine."

Her eyes narrowed. "Then why were you crying?"

"Nora!" Joanna sounded exasperated with the five year old. "Drop it. If he wants to talk about it with us, he will."

Nora shrugged. "Mama says talking about things helps – and she says keeping secrets from the ones you love is bad."

Joanna threw up her hands in despair, silently appealing to me for help. I sat down beside Nora and drew her into my lap. "I was on a Skype call with my old boss, Stan – do you remember him?"

Nora wrinkled her nose. "Kind of – didn't he come to our house for Christmas last year?"

I nodded. "Well, he's like a Dad to me and talking to him-" I cleared my throat.

Nora smiled. "You miss him." She wrapped her little arms around my neck as she kissed my cheek. "Don't be sad, Uncle Marshall. You have me and Georgie and Jo Jo and mama will be back tomorrow – you have lots of family for Christmas."

I nodded as I pulled her into a hug. It didn't escape my notice that she didn't include Abigail in her list of family. She had never liked my wife – and that gave me pause. What did it mean when a five year old child who had the innocent natural ability to read people didn't like someone? Did it simply mean that Mary had colored her daughter's view of Abigail or did Nora have her own reasons?

I intended to find out.

* * *

_A/N: Nora doesn't pull any punches, does she? And did Stan's tough love speech get through to Marshall? And why does Nora dislike Abigail? Stay tuned - Reviews are LOVE!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Thank you everyone for all the favorites and reviews on the last chapter! And welcome Greenstuff to the site - after all, this one's for you! Now, I want to answer a question from a reviewer who wondered why Joanna was at the Sunshine building. Marshall mentioned to Delia she had a doctor's appt and though I didn't come out and say it, yes, she came afterwards to pick up the kids._

_In this chapter we finally learn why Nora doesn't care for Abby and guess who finally makes it home? ;)_

* * *

"_**You better know that in the end**_

_**It's better to say too much**_

_**Than to never say what you need to say again."**_

_**-John Mayer**_

* * *

It was impossible for anyone to get any work done with the glass men there, so I closed the office down early for the weekend and took the kids home, telling Joanna that she was also off duty.

"Are you sure, Marshall? You look like you're about ready to collapse."

"It's OK. I'll pick up lunch on the way back to the house and then we'll all take a nap."

Joanna laughed. "That sounds like a nice idea – but what if the kids have other ideas?"

I grinned. "Then I'll put a kid's Christmas special on and Uncle Marshall will watch it through his eyelids."

Fortunately for me, Nora and Georgie were agreeable to my plans. After burgers and fries from McDonalds, they snuggled up to me on the couch and we fell asleep in a heap five minutes into Charlie Brown's Christmas Special. None of us stirred until a banging on the door woke me hours later.

Nora groaned and buried her face deeper into my belly. "Uncle Marshall," she mumbled. "Make it stop."

I yawned and sat up, dislodging her and Georgie in the process. Nora moaned and curled back up on her side. Georgie never made a peep as he slept on. Glancing at the wall clock, I saw that we had been out for three hours as the banging came again. I got up and staggered to the door.

"Keep it down, would you? My kids are-" The words died on my lips as I swung the door open to see Abigail standing on the other side, with a leashed Oscar at her feet.

Her eyebrows rose in a question. "Your kids?"

I gulped, fully awake now. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought we could take the kids to see the Christmas lights at the zoo."

My eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Why?"

"Because it's Christmastime and we both have the afternoon off and I thought it would be nice if we all spent time together."

I grunted. "Again, I ask why?"

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Look, I'm trying to apologize, OK? I know I've been hormonal and bitchy lately, and it's not fair that I've taken it out on innocent children."

I ran a hand through my hair. "There's going to be some ground rules if we go- number one: no yelling. Number two: all discussions about us and the future are on hold – Nora and George have enough going on in their own lives that they don't need to hear about our problems. Can you do this?"

Abigail nodded. "I want to make things up to you."

I looked at her warily, still unsure of this sudden upswing in her attitude, and yet I was desperate to believe her. "All right then, let's go."

"Go where?"

I looked down to see Nora standing behind me in the hall, her eyes full of questions. "I woke up and you weren't there-"

Smiling in reassurance at her, I moved back so she could see Abigail in the doorway. "Abigail's come to invite us to go see the lights at the zoo – doesn't that sound like fun?"

Nora crinkled her nose, like she smelled something unpleasant. "No thank you."

I frowned. "I already said yes."

"I'm not going," Nora stamped her foot in defiance as she turned and ran down the hall to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"Ray? Uncle Mars?" Georgie called from the couch.

I pulled Abigail and Oscar inside, shutting the door behind them. "Go tell Georgie what we're doing and help him with his shoes. I'll talk to Nora."

"Good luck."

I grunted as I turned and made my way down the hall. The door had bounced back open from the force of Nora's slam and through the crack, I could see that she had thrown herself face down on her bed and wasn't moving. I tapped on the door.

"Go away."

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"No."

"Nora, I'm not going away until you talk to me. And I'd much rather talk to your face than your back."

She sat up and turned around, and her expression stole my breath away. Those green eyes were hard and stormy and so like Mary's – I wanted to laugh, but Nora was upset and I needed to find out why. If I laughed now, she would clam up and not tell me anything. Just like her mother. I came inside and closed the door behind me, giving us some privacy.

"Why are you so upset?"

"I don't want to go with her."

"Why not?"

Nora shrugged.

"Because you hate her?"

Without looking me in the eyes, she nodded.

"Why?"

Silence.

"Is it because your mom hates her?"

Her head jerked up. "Mama doesn't hate her."

"But you do."

Nora's head bobbed up and down.

"Will you tell me why?"

Silence.

"Did she-" I could hardly say the words. '-hurt you?"

Another nod.

I thought my heart was going to stop. Abigail had hurt Nora? I just couldn't believe it. This was the woman I had pledged my life to – the woman who wanted to bear my child, and she had hurt my godchild?

I cleared my throat. "How?"

Nora got up and went over to pick up Biscuit from the window seat. "I don't want to talk about it – I never told Mama what happened."

I went to my knees in front of her. "Please, love bug. Tell me – I can help you. If she – if she hurt you – if she touched you-"

Nora's eyes flew up to meet mine. "What? No, Uncle Marshall, she didn't. She just said bad things about – about me and Mama."

Relief flooded through me so hard I nearly fell over. She hadn't been molested – her innocence was intact. _Thank you, God. _"What things? What did she say – when?"

Nora climbed into my lap and I cuddled her close as her hands petted Biscuit. "It was at the holiday party last year. Mama and I left early, remember?"

I nodded and I waited for her to continue.

"I had to go potty before we left and mama waited for me – but I think she went to find you to say good-bye. When I was in the potty, Abby came in and started talking to some other ladies. At first I wasn't listening 'cause I was going potty but then she said my mama's name and so then I listened. She said it was sad how my mama hung around you all the time even though you were married now. Then someone said something about me and Abby said that 'no one could prove that Mary's little bastard was Marshall's, thank God' and then I guess she left because I didn't hear anymore and mama came in to get me." Nora looked up at me with wide eyes. "Abby called me a little bastard – what does it mean? Am I one? Is it bad?"

My blood was pounding in my ears and the urge to punch something was strong. If this kept up, I'd need to enroll in some anger management classes. I wasn't stupid – I'd heard the rumors that had been floated about Nora's paternity and the prevalent one that Nora was actually my child. But I had no idea that my own wife had contributed to the rumor mill.

"Uncle Marshall? Am I a bastard?"

I flinched as I pulled her tighter against me. "The word simply means one who is born to unmarried parents, and since your mama and papa weren't married when they had you, then yes, some people may refer to you as one. But never those who love and know you."

Nora beamed up at me. "Are you my father?"

I shook my head. "No, love bug, Mark is your father. I'm your godfather and your honorary uncle and I love you very much – but I'm not your father."

"Why do some people say you are?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. People love to talk and gossip about other people – especially about things they know nothing about."

Both of us jumped slightly as the door swung open and Abigail poked her head inside. "Are you ready to go? Georgie and Oscar are chomping at the bit."

Nora clutched me tighter. "I don't want to go."

I squeezed Nora's shoulder in reassurance and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "Don't worry, none of us are going."

"Marshall?" Abigail's face creased in a frown. "What's wrong? What's happened? Ten minutes ago you were all ready to go and now- what did she say?"

I eased Nora off my lap as I got up and crossed to stand in front of my wife, leaning to whisper in her ear. "Why don't you ask the little bastard herself?"

She gulped in a breath. "What did you say?

I pulled back. "You know, I've been wondering for days why Nora hates you – and now I know. She overheard you talking to some friends at the holiday party last year-"

"Marshall, wait, I can explain."

"Explain calling a five year old child that slur?" I took her elbow and steered her down the hall, making sure I pulled the door shut behind us. "What about the fact that you never denied the rumors that I'm her father?"

"You could be."

I reared back on my heels and stared at her for a good long minute before speaking. "You honestly believe that. You honestly believe that I could have a child with Mary and walk away, and not provide at least financially for her?" I laughed hollowly. "If you think so little of me, I can't believe you want to have one with me."

"No, of course I don't believe she's yours-"

"Leave. Now."

Her hands dropped from my chest where she had been clutching my shirt collar in supplication. "What time will you be home tomorrow?"

"I don't know that I'll be coming home tomorrow."

"But – Mary will be back and there's no reason for you to stay here."

"Is there a reason for me to come home?"

"Is there – of course there is! Damn it, Marshall. I love you."

I continued to stare at her. It was as if I was looking at a stranger. This woman that I had married – she had morphed into someone I didn't know. She was jealous of anyone who took time away from her, whether it was my old partner or her five year old daughter. She no longer trusted me and there was a part of me that wondered if she ever had. She desperately wanted a child to fill this void inside of her and I somehow knew it wouldn't be enough. If my love and devotion hadn't been enough, what made her think a child would be?

"But I'm not enough – my love for you isn't enough. You're not happy."

She took a step back from me. Wetting her lips, her eyes darted around the room. "I just want a child, Marshall. That's something every woman wants."

"And once I give you that – will you be happy?"

"Of course."

"How do you know? You aren't happy being my wife now – what if we can't have children and the future for us doesn't include children, can you accept that? Be happy being Mrs. Marshall Mann?"

"You were right – this isn't the time or place for us to discuss our future. I - I should go."

I nodded. "Yeah, maybe you should."

* * *

Abigail had gotten Georgie all wound up for going to the zoo and not wanting to deal with the fallout, I packed a light sack supper for us, loaded Oscar in the back of the pick up truck and off we went. Just as we arrived at the zoo, Abigail texted me, asking if she should come get Oscar, but I replied and told her no, I'd bring him back by the house tomorrow. I had spare food and bowls with me, so he'd be good for the night.

Nora and Georgie loved the lights, and Oscar barked his head off and took turns dragging us around the exhibits. As an extra treat, I bought an elephant ear to split and three small hot cocoas because the temperature dropped quickly after dark. I was glad there was no snow yet but even so when Georgie's hands got red from the cold, I had to insist it was time to go and started to head for the exit despite Nora's protests that he was OK.

"He's not keeping his mittens on, Nora, and in case you haven't noticed, we don't have fur coats like the animals."

"Well, it's his own fault for not keeping them on! Please, just a little longer!"

"Nope – I won't have Georgie getting croup on my watch. We'll go back a different way so you can see more lights – but that's the best you're going to get out of me."

I ended up carrying Georgie the last twenty minutes, partly to keep him warm and partly because he was falling asleep on his feet, though he was trying to fight it.

"Thanks, Uncle Mars."

I looked down into his sleepy face. "For what, Sport?"

'For bringing us. Mama was gonna bring me but-"

Nora snorted. "Yeah but then she left."

"No-ra," I hissed at her before turning my attention back to Georgie. "You're welcome."

"Can we make popcorn and watch Charlie Brown when we get home?"

I laughed. "If you think we can stay awake this time."

Georgie fell asleep in the truck and didn't stir when I carried him inside and laid him in Mary's bed. I took off his shoes and tucked him in, pressing a kiss against his forehead and turned to see Nora watching me from the doorway.

"What's going to happen if Aunt Brandi doesn't come back, Uncle Marshall?"

I lifted a finger to my lips as I crossed the room and nudged her into the hall, drawing the door almost but not quite shut behind me. Drawing her into my side, I murmured. "I don't know whether your Aunt will come home or not, love bug. But I do know that Georgie will be fine because he has you and your mom, and me, and Jo Jo, and GiGi."

"But he misses her – just like I'd miss mama if she was gone."

I nodded. "And that's why we have to do our best to cheer him up, OK?"

"Like going to see the lights at the zoo today?"

I nodded again.

"Uncle Marshall, I'm sorry I didn't go with Abby when she came."

I swung her up in my arms and walked down the hall to the living room. "Love bug, you can't help how you feel. She hurt your feelings and I understand why you don't want to be around her-"

"But Georgie really wanted to go and he got upset when she left and he thought we weren't gonna go. And then you and Abby had a big fight too."

"Hey, hey- that's got nothing to do with you," I reassured her as I sat down on the couch and she scooted out of my arms to sit beside me. "Abby and I – we have our own grown up stuff going on and it's all very complicated and nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about, all right?"

Oscar choose that moment to bound up on the couch next to Nora and lick her face voraciously.

"Oscar, down! Don't eat Nora."

Nora giggled helplessly and threw her arms around Oscar as the mutt ignored me completely and continued to lap at her face. "I'm glad she forgot to take Oscar with her."

I grunted. "The mutt seems pretty happy with the situation himself."

Oscar gave a short, sharp bark and I snapped my fingers, pointing to the floor. He whined but complied with my request, dropping to the floor and curling up at my feet.

"Can we have some popcorn and watch Charlie Brown Christmas now?"

* * *

We made it through the special, but Nora fell asleep a couple minutes into Frosty. I turned off the TV and carried her to bed, laying her next to her cousin. Oscar leapt onto the bed and curled up on the bottom, looking at me with sorrowful eyes.

"All right, you mutt, as long as you leave some room for me, you can stay."

When I returned after my shower to find Oscar in my spot next to the kids, I had to banish him back to the bottom on the bed. Chuckling to myself, my last conscious thought was that this was a very crowded bed.

I had no idea what time it was, but it only felt like minutes before I felt something tickling my face and the sound of someone calling my name. I groaned and tried to roll over but I was wedged between kids on one side and my dog on the other. The tickling sensation came again and I muttered, "Oscar, if you're licking my face, quit it. I'm not getting up to let you out right now."

"Doofus, it's me. Wake up."

My eyes flew open at the sound of Mary's voice. She was sitting on the bed, trying to hold off an attack from an excited Oscar, whose wagging tail was slapping me in the face. "Mary, you're home? I'm not dreaming?"

She grinned at me. "You've been dreaming about me? Don't tell your wife that, Chief. And what's all this? I didn't know you'd been throwing slumber parties in my absence."

Before I could answer, Nora stirred beside me and opened her eyes. "Mama? Mama!" She launched herself over me and landed in Mary's outstretched arms.

"Hi, Bug – how are you? I missed you so much!"

"I missed you more! Do you like my cast? The doctor wanted to give me a pink one 'cause I'm a girl but I was like 'no! I don't want a pink one just 'cause I'm a girl!' So he gave me this bright green one."

Mary chuckled. "That's my girl. Hey, why aren't you wearing pajamas?" She looked at me accusingly but Nora leapt to my defense.

"Don't blame Uncle Marshall, Mama. I fell asleep watching Frosty and so he just put me to bed. Georgie fell asleep on the way home from the zoo – we went and saw the Christmas lights – they were so pretty!"

"Why don't you girls go catch up and let us boys get some more sleep?" I broke in, trying to smother a yawn as I noticed that it wasn't even light yet. "It's early, isn't it?"

Mary nodded. "I was anxious to get home."

"I understand."

Mary gathered Nora in her arms. "Come on, Bug, let's go to your room and let Uncle Marshall and Georgie get some more sleep."

I watched them leave, my heart in my throat. Mary was home now and I knew that I couldn't impose on her by staying – especially with my conflicted emotions. I resolved to leave later that day as I rolled over and closed my eyes.

Georgie woke me up a couple of hours later with a well-placed kick to my kidneys. Groaning, I rolled and waited for the boy to open his eyes.

"Good morning, Sport. Your Aunt Mary's home."

"Mama too?"

I reached out and brushed back a lock of hair from his face. "Not yet."

Georgie's eyes clouded but he didn't say anything.

"Hey, how about you use the potty and then you can help me make a welcome home breakfast for your Aunt."

"OK!"

When we emerged from the bedroom, we found the girls in the living room and Georgie ran straight into Mary's arms as I headed for the kitchen. _She's come so far from the woman who used to wonder what the deal was with babies –_

"Marshall."

I turned at the sound of her voice, nearly dropping the eggs on the floor at her tone. "What the – Mary, you startled me. I thought you were with the kids."

She shook her head. "I sent them to Nora's room to play so we could talk."

I cocked my head to the side as I set the eggs down. "About?"

She came near enough so she could drop her voice and the kids wouldn't hear her. "About what the fuck has been going on around here while I was gone."

* * *

_A/N: Yay! Mary's home - and I bet the fur will really fly now. Press that button and leave me some LOVE in reviews!_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: So readers, a bit of housekeeping regarding this chapter. (1) If this was an episode of IPS, this chapter would be known as "Filler" - although some important info is revealed, so I hope you still enjoy it. (2) Most of us have written Mary and Marshall's relationship as severely strained after Marshall's infamous "Let me go" speech in the series finale. But in this fiction, you'll quickly see that their friendship is intact. Though Mary did take some steps back and didn't call Marshall for every little thing or involve him in her family drama, their friendship remains. (3) This chapter also contains a flashback scene to that infamous balcony scene where Marshall asks Mary for his freedom that had so many of us screaming at our TV's. Dialogue from the show is in bold italics._

_Whew! I think that's all - enjoy!_

* * *

"_**You and me  
We used to be together  
Every day together always  
I really feel  
That I'm losing my best friend  
I can't believe  
This could be the end  
It looks as though you're letting go  
And if it's real  
Well I don't want to know"**_

_**-No Doubt**_

* * *

I took in my old partner's fighter stance in front of me and sighed. "Mary, retract the claws and let me explain-"

"You're damn right you're going to explain, Marshall. Nora hasn't been back to school since she broke her arm – a fact which you conveniently forgot to tell me. Just like you also forgot to tell me what really happened the day of her accident and –"

I held up my hand in supplication. "Stop! All right? Time out. I didn't forget to tell you anything and I wasn't going to keep the information from you – I think both of us know that would have been suicide for me. I know how much you hate secrets and I would never, ever keep information about your daughter from you – especially since she's old enough now to tell you herself what really happened."

I waited for my words to sink in and slowly Mary's shoulders relaxed. She rubbed her forehead as she leaned against the island. "I – I know you wouldn't keep things from me long term. It just surprised me when Nora told me what happened, like she already thought I knew – and damn it, Marshall, I should have-"

I gripped her shoulder and shook her slightly, stopping her flow of words. "Mary, listen to me. I know how much you hate leaving her right now and the fact that your worst fear was finally realized and she got hurt while you were out of town is making you lash out at me. But you need to realize that I was not going to add to your stress by giving you all the information when there was nothing you could do about it while you were still on the road-"

"You overstepped, Marshall! That wasn't your call."

My hand tightened on her shoulder. "Wasn't it? Isn't that why you gave me the power to sign off on Nora's medical treatments? So that, God forbid, something happened while you were out of town I could step in and take care of things?"

"You're not her father!"

The words cut me to the quick but I pushed my hurt feelings aside. "Mark wasn't here, and I was. You needed to focus on the witness and let me take care of Nora – and she's fine, Mary. I promise you, she's fine." I took a deep breath, knowing my next words would have the effect of pouring gasoline on a lit fire. "But I'm going to call another quick time out and ask about you – is everything OK with you?"

Mary shrugged out of my hold, backing up several steps. "I – Other than the fact that I get home and find out my daughter's been suspended-"

"Is everything OK with you?" I repeated the words slowly, my eyes boring into hers.

She turned away from me to pick at an imaginary spot on the counter. "Mom called last night."

I waited but when she didn't say anything else, I prompted her, "She's found Brandi?"

Mary snorted. "No – but it turns out she knew where my sister was going. The problem is she's not there."

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

Mary threw up her hands and turned back to meet my eyes. "Take a number! Turns out my family has been keeping things from me again and you know how well I deal with secrets, Marshall."

I waited.

"Do you remember the car accident Brandi was in last summer, the one where she hurt her back?"

I nodded.

"Mom told me she got addicted to the pain meds."

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "How long has Jinx known?"

"I don't know – a couple of months? She's been trying to convince Brandi to get help and then just before Thanksgiving, she says she found Coke at Squish's apartment."

I slammed my hand on the counter. "And she's only telling you this now? Brandi had illegal drugs in the apartment with a three year old? Mary, Georgie could have gotten-"

"Marshall, I know! I was furious too- I am furious!"

"What else did Jinx say?"

"She confronted Brandi who broke down and said she hadn't been using, at least not yet. The two of them made plans for her to go into a drug rehab in Florida – close to our half-sister Lauren's place. Brandi swore Mom to secrecy, left George with me, and let Mom give her a ride to the airport the day after Thanksgiving."

"So Brandi's in Florida?"

"No, she's not. That's what Mom was calling to tell me. She went to visit her, and Brandi never checked into the rehab center."

"So Brandi could be anywhere?"

Mary nodded. "And most likely high as a kite and not feeling any pain."

"Why is Jinx breaking Brandi's confidence and telling you all this now?"

"A guilty conscience?" Mary shrugged. "She's scared out of her mind for her baby – she wants me to run traces on her credit cards and use my contacts through work to find her."

I was silent for a long moment as I listened to the sound of Nora and Georgie laughing and playing down the hallway. "Do you want to find her?"

"She's my sister and George's mother – how can I not do everything in my power to find her?"

"She may no longer be the Brandi you know when we find her."

"We?" Mary shook her head. "Marshall, this is my business, my family drama. I can't ask you to get involved, not when you've got your own problems, your own wife-"

"Hey, I don't recall you asking, I volunteered."

"I can't let you do this." She shook her head. "I gave you your freedom, remember? You need to walk away from this shit fest. We'll be fine."

I took a deep breath. "I'm declaring that conversation and its outcome null and void. You and I are partners, Mary. You call and I come, every time, no matter what."

* * *

**May 2012**

**Sunshine Building**

I got back from lunch with Abigail, her words still ringing in my ears. _Just talk to Mary – this isn't me being jealous. You need to figure this out before we make any more appointments with ministers. _Was she giving me an ultimatum? Telling me that I could no longer be friends with Mary if I wanted to be her husband? Or was she just telling me the hard truth? That I needed to make a choice and stick with it: Mary or her. I loved Abigail deeply and I wanted to marry her, but Mary still haunted my thoughts, waking and sleeping. Part of me wondered if it was love or obsession – she had been the object of my dreams for so long that I didn't know if it was possible to let her go. Abigail was right – it was an unhealthy attachment, especially since Mary had never returned my feelings. Even if Abigail wasn't in the picture, I was a pitiful excuse of a man, a whining puppy in the corner who had been trying to get his master's love and attention for years and nearly peeing on the floor with excitement whenever she thought to toss me a crumb.

It had to stop. It needed to stop. Both of us needed to move on. I was getting married and Mary had finally dealt with her Daddy issues once and for all. There was no better time than the present to let her know that we needed to step away and give each other breathing room.

But my heart and courage failed me when she strode into the office later in the afternoon. To any outside observer, she looked her usual confident self. But to me, the man and partner who knew her better than she knew herself, I could see how much she was still struggling with her father's death. There were circles under her eyes and her step faltered just a bit, letting me know just how tired she really was.

"Doofus, stop looking at me like that. I'm fine."

My eyes snapped up to hers, and my face flushed as I realized she had caught me in the act of assessing her condition. "Excuse me for caring."

Her lips twitched briefly but the smile never fully formed. "Don't ever stop." She cleared her throat. "Now, are you going to tell me what's on your mind or just keep staring a hole through me?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"For Pete's sake, partner. You've been trying to work up the courage to tell me something for the past three days now." She looked around the room. "We're alone – so spill. What's on your mind?"

_I don't want to – you need me too much right now. _

_She's always going to need you, but Abigail needs you too. _

"Marshall?"

I shook my head. "Not here – Stan's due back any minute. Let's go out on the balcony."

She raised her eyebrow in surprise but didn't say anything as she followed me out the French doors, shutting them behind her. I didn't turn around as I shoved my hands in my pockets, trying to form words that were suddenly stuck in my throat.

"Marshall – you're starting to scare me. Are you sick?"

I whirled to face her. "No, Mer, nothing like that."

She visibly relaxed. "Then what is it?"

I cleared my throat. _**"This, what we have, it's undefinable, and up until now nothing's ever come along to jeopardize that."**_

She smiled at me. _**"Marshall, you're my best friend. You're my only friend. I mean, forget friend, you're - you know."**_

I nodded in understanding. _**"I know. I love that. But that's the problem."**_

"_**Because you're getting married."**_

"_**Yeah. I'm getting married. I love Abigail deeply, and because I do that's why I need you to do something for me."**_

"_**Anything."**_

"_**I need you to release me. I need to be free enough to have a life with Abigail, and I need you to be okay enough for that to happen, because if you call I'll come. Every time."**_

She sighed._** "Well, I don't know a lot these days. All I know is that more than anything in the whole world, I want you to be happy. So, I'm going to say this once and only once: I want you to marry Abigail. She makes you happy. I like her and I like you together."**_

I looked at her in open disbelief.

Mary chuckled. _**"I know, I hide it well."**_

I was suddenly very uncomfortable as I looked at my partner and wanted nothing more than for this conversation to be over. I strode past her and opened the door. _**"Yeah. Okay. So, shall we get on with the rest of our lives?"**_

"_**You first."**_

Mary brushed past me as she went back inside and I felt a small part of me die. Is this what it felt like to let go of a dream? To finally release someone that you've wanted to hold close and love for so long? To acknowledge to no one else but yourself that something you hoped for was never going to be?

I leaned my forehead against the doorframe, breathing in and out slowly. "Be happy, my love," I whispered softly before I pushed myself back to a standing position and went back inside, closing the door behind me.

* * *

**Present Day**

**Mary's kitchen**

Mary stared at me. "OK, now it's my turn to call a time out. You're still wearing your wedding ring, so I know you're not divorced, but you're talking like a crazy man right now. You need to go home to your wife."

I shook my head. "I need to cook breakfast. After the kids are fed, I can call APD and we can fill out a missing person's report over the phone-"

"Marshall, stop!"

I obediently shut my mouth and waited.

"I think we need to talk about what's going on with you."

"No time."

"We'll make time."

The bedroom door slammed and two twin blurs flew into the room, one attaching to Mary and the other to me.

"Is breakfast ready, Uncle Marshall?" Nora asked.

"Not yet."

"Why?" the five year old pouted.

"Your mother distracted me."

"Mama! We're hungry."

Mary rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me as she detached Nora from her leg and began to pull out the rest of the ingredients for French toast.

"I help!" Georgie screamed.

I ruffled his hair and lifted him up to sit on the counter. "Of course, sport. Every chef needs a sous chef."

"What's sous mean, Uncle Marshall?" Nora asked as she carried silverware to the table. "Is it like whore?"

"Marshall!" Mary screamed as she dropped a bowl on the counter.

I cringed and swung around to face the Shannon women. "Not now, Mer – later, I promise. No, Nora. Sous means under. And let's not say the word 'whore' again, OK? It's not a nice word."

"OK."

Mary came over and captured my earlobe between her thumb and forefinger, pinching tightly. "This conversation is not over, Doofus."

I winced under the pressure of her grip. "I know, Sunshine. I know."

She grinned toothily at me and moved away as Nora asked what Doofus meant. I laughed and handed Georgie a whisk, watching with fatherly pride as most of the eggs managed to stay in the bowl this time.

* * *

After breakfast was over and dishes were cleared away, Mary insisted on making the missing person report herself, alone, without my help.

"Why don't I take the kids to the new indoor play palace that's opened over on Bleaker, then?" I offered. "That will give you some privacy and you can call Jinx too – let her know that you've set things in motion."

Mary shook her head at me. "Don't you need to get home to your wife?"

I avoided her eyes as I scooped up my keys and wallet from the table and whistled for Oscar. The mutt came dashing into the room with the kids in hot pursuit. "Get your shoes on, kids."

"Where are we going, Uncle Marshall?"

"I thought we'd go check out the new play palace-"

Nora and Georgie's squeals drowned out the rest of my words and they ran back down the hall to find their shoes, Oscar barking and nipping at their heels. Grinning, I turned back to see Mary studying me with a frown.

"What's wrong?"

"Bug told me that you and Abigail had a fight yesterday when she stopped by-"

"I'm sorry that she overheard – more sorry that I couldn't control my temper and that I aired our marital problems in front of two young children."

"What's going on with you? I know you love spending time with Nora and George – but Abigail's your wife and usually you'd be anxious to get home to her after spending a couple nights apart. What aren't you telling me? Have the two of you separated?"

"Not officially."

Mary recoiled from the words as if I'd punched her. "What does that mean? Are you- what the fuck happened while I was gone?" she repeated, but this time her voice held no anger, only concern and I felt the urge to reach out and touch her but I restrained myself. It would only complicate the situation further and confuse her – and me.

I ran a hand through my hair and opened my mouth to answer when Mary's eyes lit on my hand. "What the hell?" she exclaimed, crossing the distance between us to capture my hand. "What is this? What happened to your hand?" she demanded, looking at my taped fingers, and the dark bruise and cuts that marred the flesh.

I inwardly cursed. I had been so careful all morning to keep it out of her line of sight, trying not to be obvious about it and so far it had worked. But now the cat was out of the bag and she was looking up at me with blazing green eyes, demanding the truth. "Nothing-"

"This is NOT nothing." She held my injured hand up between us. "Tell me, now."

"Uncle Marshall! Georgie can't find his shoes!"

I shook my head. "Later – you need to file that report and the kids are waiting." I tried to tug my hand free but she held it fast.

"I'm not letting you go until you promise me that you'll talk to me about what's up with you."

"Mary," I sighed. "Finding Brandi is so much more important-"

She shook her head. "You're important to me too, Marshall. Don't you know that? You're still my best and only friend."

"UNCLE MARS!"

"Mary, the kids-"

"Promise!"

I squeezed her fingers gently. "I promise."

She grinned as she released my hand so fast I nearly fell backwards from the loss of contact. "Was that so hard?"

* * *

_A/N: What has happened to Brandi? And how much will Marshall tell Mary? And what about his wife? Stay tuned. Reviews are LOVE._


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: In this installment, Mary and Marshall parent Georgie - and Marshall comes to a decision regarding his personal life, which leads him to that crucial conversation with his wife. Enjoy!_

* * *

"_**Even if your hands are shakin'**_

_**And your faith is broken**_

_**Even as the eyes are closin'**_

_**Do it with a heart wide open**_

_**Say what you need to say."**_

_**-John Mayer**_

* * *

_Mary's going to kill me._

That was the thought that kept going round and round my head as I pressed the accelerator to the floor, praying I didn't run into any speed traps, trying to focus on the road and not on the painful whimpers coming from the backseat.

"It's OK, Georgie. Uncle Marshall is going to make it all better, you'll see."

I tried not to roll my eyes at Nora's words of encouragement to her cousin. How I wished I could wave a magic wand and make it all better, but at least the injury wasn't worse. Georgie's bottom lip was going to require a few stitches but he'd be fine. I just couldn't believe that I was headed back to the emergency room for the third time in three days- I'd practically be on a first time basis with the staff!

"How ya doin', Sport?" I asked, flashing a glance at the pair huddled in the back.

Georgie's lip was puffy, swollen, and bloody. He was trying not to cry but the tears were still bright in his eyes. "I hurt."

"I know, Sport, I know. We're almost there, OK?"

"It will be cool, Georgie – I have a cast and you'll have stitches – we can be twin boo boo cousins."

I flicked another look in the rear view mirror in time to see Georgie try and smile but the effort made his lip start to bleed again. "Nora," I caught her attention. "There's some wipes in the bag on the floor in front of you."

Nora leaned down and fished in the bag, coming up with the wipes. "Here, Georgie – I'll help you."

As I swung the truck into the first spot in the ER parking lot that wasn't a handicapped space, I noticed Mary's sedan parked a couple of rows over. _I wonder how many speed laws she broke to beat us here._ I nearly tripped over Mary herself when I stepped out of the truck.

"What the fuck took you so long?"

"Mary, language please. Do you really want Nora to learn another new word – especially that one?" I grunted as I opened the back door and unbuckled Nora's booster seat.

"Mama! We were at the top of the super slide when this mean boy pushed us and Georgie went down the slide head first – he screamed all the way down! I promised him I was going to go with him – it's my fault-" Nora hiccupped.

"Hush, bug. It's not your fault-" She lifted Nora out of the truck and held her close.

My shoulders flinched at her words as I unbuckled Georgie's straps and lifted him into my arms, turning to meet her eyes.

"It's no one's fault – I'm sure the boy didn't mean to push George."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. The Mary of old would have been quick to spout violence against the boy and demand that we hunt him down – but here she was comforting her child and telling her it wasn't anyone's fault. Was she just saying that for Nora's sake or had she really turned over a new leaf – become softer since having a child?

"Doofus, stop staring at me like that. We need to get inside and get George's lip taken care of."

I shook myself slightly and looked down at the boy who was clutching me tightly. "Ready, Sport?"

He shook his head. "I hurt."

"And the doctor will sew up your lip and then you will feel much better," I soothed him as we walked towards the entrance, each of us holding a child.

"Stay wif me?" Georgie pleaded, the tears beginning to fall again.

The automatic doors swooshed open at our approach. "Yes, Georgie, I'll stay with you the whole time, OK?"

He snuggled further into my chest, his tears and blood smearing across the material of my T shirt. "OK."

Mary set Nora down and took her hand. "We'll go and check in."

I nodded. "Georgie and I will go have a seat over there-" I jerked my head in the direction of a vacant seating area. "Give a wave when you need us."

* * *

Getting stitches is a very traumatic experience for a three year old boy. I had gotten stitches in my chin when I was four and I can recall the event with perfect clarity to this day. The most terrifying part was when the nurse covered my face with the sterile cloth and I couldn't see my mom. I screamed so loud that I'm sure I woke the patients up in that entire section of the hospital. As soon as my mom took my hand and moved to the side of the bed so that I could see her, I relaxed and let the doctor do his work.

So I was prepared when Georgie started screaming when they covered his face.

"Uncle MARS!"

I took his hands in one of mine and whispered in his ear. "I'm right here, Sport. I didn't leave – I promised I'd stay, remember?"

"I can't see you-" Georgie's voice broke on a sob and my throat tightened as I remembered my own panic.

"You can hear me talking to you, right? And my hand holding your hands?"

Georgie nodded and the doctor grunted.

"Keep still, son."

"You have to hold your head still, Sport, so the doctor can finish putting in the stitches. But I'll keep talking to you until he's done. How about a story? Once there was a little boy named Marshall who loved to dress up and play cops and robbers with his friends. . . ."

"All done."

The nurse whipped the cloth off Georgie's face and he launched himself off the bed into my arms. "I was scared."

"I know."

Georgie pulled back and looked under my chin at the small white scar that was still visible. "You got stitches too? That story was about you?"

I nodded. "Yep – and I was just as scared as you when I couldn't see my mom when the nurse covered my face with the white cloth. She stayed with me just like I stayed with you."

He snuggled into me, whispering, "I miss my mama."

My throat tightened. "I know, Sport, I know."

I heard a slight sound from the doorway and I looked up to see Mary and Nora watching us, Mary's eyes shiny with emotion. Nora released her mama's hand and skipped into the room.

"Is it done? Are you all stitched up, Georgie?"

Georgie nodded. "We boo boo twins, Ray!"

Mary and I shared a smile as the cousins showed off their injuries to each other.

* * *

By the time I followed Mary back to the house and we fed the kids a snack and got them down for a nap, I felt like it should be ten o'clock at night, not two in the afternoon. Raising children was definitely for the young, or young at heart, and both of us were over forty. Abigail was eleven years younger than me and deserved to find someone closer to her own age, someone who still had the energy and drive to raise a passel of kids with – not to mention someone who would love her with his whole heart.

Not someone whose heart had been and always would belong to another.

Stan was right. I wasn't being fair to Abigail, or Mary, or myself. I should never have married her in the first place. I was so happy to have finally found someone who loved me, who put me first, who understood the job and the extra-long hours that I worked that I ignored so many warning signs along the way. I was to blame for turning Abigail into the jealous, possessive woman she had become. All she was trying to do was build a life with me, love me, when she could feel that every day I was slipping away.

Mary may have released me that day on the balcony– but I had never released her. I had never let go of her.

And I never would –

It didn't matter if she never returned my feelings. It didn't matter if this made me the most pathetic man on the planet who has ever lived: worse than Don Quixote pining after Dulcinea or Cyrano de Bergerac wasting away for his love. If I had learned anything the past few days, it was that Nora and Georgie needed their Uncle Marshall and I needed them. These kids had given me a purpose that I hadn't felt in a long time. If it was my fate to be single, and be a beloved uncle, godfather, and Mary's best friend, I could accept that. Letting her and the kids go wasn't an option – which left only one other option. I needed to let go of something else.

Abigail had been right – I had needed to put her first and there had been very few times in our married life when I had. She deserved so much more than I could give her – she deserved what she had tried to give me, and then some.

It was time to let go, and move on.

* * *

My house was quiet and still when I got there and for several moments I stood in the doorway, listening for some sign of life. Oscar had not hesitated, bounding across the room and running straight to his food and water dishes in the kitchen. Abigail usually had Saturdays off, but she was on call, so if there had been a homicide, she might have gotten called into the station. I shut the door behind me, dropped my keys on the coffee table and crossed to the kitchen, scanning the table for a note and finding none. I picked up the cordless and was just about to check our voicemail when I sensed a presence behind me and I turned to see her standing in the kitchen arch.

"You came home."

I swallowed. "I thought we should talk."

She snorted. "Really? I've been trying to talk to you for days. What if now's not a good time for me?"

"Abs," I sighed. "Please, don't be-"

"What?" she snapped, crossing her arms. "Petty? Bitchy? Jealous?"

I took a deep breath. "Can we please just sit down and talk without raising our voices? I'm tired of-"

"Tired – you're tired." Abigail turned and walked away but I followed her into the living room. "What do you think I am? I'm exhausted, Marshall! Between work and trying to hold on to my husband, I haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks."

"That's what I want to talk to you about."

She frowned. "My lack of sleep?"

"No – you trying to hold onto me. I think –" my eyes fluttered shut. "Abs, it shouldn't be this hard."

"You told me that anything worth having isn't easy."

I flinched. "I know but, you're fighting to hold onto me by trying to have a child with me and Abs – that's just not right. Children are a miracle, a gift. They're not a Band-Aid or a fix it for a marriage that's falling apart."

Her arms fell to her sides and her eyes narrowed. "Is that what's happening?"

"Isn't it?" I whispered. "You don't trust me-"

"Of course I trust you-"

"No, you don't. You pop into the office at random times just to make sure I'm not screwing my ex partner-"

"She has a thing for you, Marshall."

"No, she doesn't, Abs. Mary and I have always and only ever been friends."

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love her."

I looked at her for a long moment before dropping my gaze to the floor. "I have never broken our marriage vows, Abigail. But you're right, my feelings for Mary run deeper than they should for a married man."

She gasped and backed up a step.

"I'm not being fair to you. You deserve to be with someone who puts you first, who loves you completely and wants to give you the world, a child-"

"I can't believe you're saying this, after everything we've been through!" Abigail was holding back sobs as she flew to me, wrapping her arms around my waist, pressing her face to my chest. "What if I told you I was pregnant?"

My heart skipped a beat. The thought had crossed my mind and part of me would be thrilled if a mini-me was on the way. But the largest part of me was sad, because I knew it wasn't true. Abigail was just throwing out the words to get a reaction, to see if she could get a rise out of me, to get me to stay. I took another deep breath as I wrapped my arms loosely around her shoulders. "I think you know me well enough that I'd love and look after any child of mine. But I'm not the kind of man to stay in a relationship simply for the sake of the children – that would be a lie to the child as well as us. He or she deserves better. You deserve better, Abs."

She pushed me away angrily. "Why must you be so fucking noble all the time, Marshall Mann! I know you love me – you wouldn't have married me if you didn't."

I nodded. "I do love you, Abigail."

"But you love her and those brats more."

I bit my tongue to hold in my temper.

"They're not your children, Marshall." She came closer, trying to invade my personal space, but it was me who backed away this time. "I'm your wife, I can give you children – our children."

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

She wound her arms around my neck and breathed the words against my skin. "No, but if you take me into our room, I could be in an hour or so."

I gently disengaged her arms and backed away. "No, we are not going to conceive a child in such a manipulative manner-"

"Manipulative?" Abigail giggled. "All I'm doing is coming onto my-"

"Enough!" I snapped. "Look, I've said what I need to say and if you choose not to hear it, that's not my fault. I'm just here to pack a bag and then I'll be leaving."

Rage flared in Abigail's eyes. "You better take everything you want now – because I'm changing the locks as soon as you're gone. And take the mangy mutt with you."

* * *

I found a small inn close to Mary's house that rented rooms by the month and accepted dogs. Oscar and I were just settling in when my phone rang and I answered it immediately since it was Mary's ringtone.

"Hey, Mer, what's-"

"Uncle Marshall!"

I sat up on the bed. "Nora? What's wrong?"

"Georgie is really upset. He's crying and asking for you-" Nora was talking fast and loud and in the background I could hear Mary trying to hush a screaming Georgie.

"Is he hurt?"

"I – Can you come over?"

"I'm already on the way. Watch out the window for me, love bug. I'll be there in five minutes, OK?"

"OK."

Oscar danced up the walkway in front of me and Nora pulled open the door for us. She threw her arms around the mutt and I caressed her head as I passed into the house. Georgie was still crying and when he saw me, he screamed, "UNCLE MARS!"

Mary whipped around and when she saw me, relief crossed her face, followed quickly by annoyance. "How?"

"Nora called me." I explained as I crossed to her side and reached out just in time to catch Georgie as he launched himself from Mary's arms to mine. "Hey, Sport. What's up?"

He just fell into me, and cried for a while, and I paced the floor, rubbing his back.

"Not that I'm not glad to see you, but this just reinforces to him that he'll get what he wants every time he throws a temper tantrum," Mary groused.

I threw her a look over my shoulder. "Let's find out what upset him so much and then we'll deal with that part, all right?"

"Whatever you say, Dr. Spock."

When Georgie had calmed down, I sat on the couch and Mary sat in the easy chair to the side. Nora had gone off to play with Oscar, so it was just the three of us.

"Now, Sport, can you tell me what got you so upset?"

"Bad dweam."

I nodded. "Can you tell me about it? Do you remember any of it?"

Georgie frowned. "Don't want to."

I rubbed his back soothingly. "It's OK, Aunt Mary and I are right here. Was it about your mama?"

Georgie shook his head. "You."

My eyebrows lifted. "Me? What about me?"

"I got stitches and you with me but when they took cloth off you were gone. And then I woke up and you no here." Georgie hugged me tightly. "You promised. You said you stay wif me."

I sighed as I ruffled the boy's hair affectionately as I looked across at Mary who was biting her lower lip. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up from your nap, Sport. I had to go home and get some more clothes and food for Oscar." _And end my marriage but you don't need to know that part. _"But I'm back now."

"To stay?"

I glanced at Mary, wondering what to say. Fortunately she took the lead. "George, Uncle Mars doesn't live with us, remember? He comes over and visits and stays with you and Ray when I'm gone but he lives with his wife. I think she'd miss him if he moved in with us."

Georgie tilted his head as he thought about this. "She move in too."

I laughed. "I don't think that would work but it's a nice idea, Sport. How about I stay until bedtime? I can tuck you in and tell you a story – I'll even stay until you fall asleep if you want me to."

"And you come back tomorrow?"

"If that's OK with your Aunt."

Mary grunted under her breath, "Thanks, make me the bad guy if I say no." She came and sat next to me on the couch. "I need you to understand something, Georgie. Uncle Mars was very nice to come and comfort you today but sometimes he is going to be busy and not able to come, OK?"

"But Aunt Mary will be here, or Jo Jo, or Gi Gi to make you feel better, OK?" I reassured him. "So there's no need to throw a tantrum and get so upset."

"OK." Georgie smiled. "But Uncle Mars come tomorrow?"

Mary threw up her hands in surrender. "Sure, Georgie. Uncle Mars can come play tomorrow."

* * *

_A/N: Aww, Mary and Marshall are so cute as parents! And yay! He left Abigail - but will she go quietly? Stay tuned and reviews are LOVE!_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: So here it is: the chapter where Marshall and Mary finally talk about what's been going on in his life since she's been out of town and yeah, protective Mary gets the claws out - but their evening is interrupted by a surprise visitor with news that requires everyone to use their parenting skills to soothe a little girl's pain. Enjoy!_

* * *

"You've been awfully quiet tonight, partner."

I looked up to see Mary holding out a wine glass to me, a soft smile on her face. "Thanks," I murmured, as I lifted it in a silent toast before taking a small sip. "Mmm, this is good. Where have you been hiding this?"

She shrugged as she sat down in the easy chair and pulled her feet underneath her. "Mark gave me a couple bottles for my birthday last year and I've been saving them for a special occasion. With Mom on the wagon and two kids underfoot, I don't drink much anymore."

"And you're sharing with me? I'm honored."

"Yeah, well, don't let it go to your head. I just thought that after the past couple of days, we could both use a pick me up."

I grinned and held out my glass, waiting until she clinked hers against it. "You have no idea."

"And I won't until you stop grinning like an idiot and talk to me."

I sighed and leaned back into the couch, swirling the dark burgundy wine in my glass. The kids had been in bed for half an hour but Nora hadn't fallen asleep easily. She had wanted Mary to read story after story and Mary had indulged her since she had been out of town all week. I had sat out in the living room, listening to the rise and fall of her voice as she read to Nora, not realizing how lost in my own thoughts I had become until Mary was standing beside me, wine glass in hand.

"You better not spill any of that on my carpet, Doofus."

My smile widened at hearing her pet name for me and I set the wine glass on the coffee table. "Did you manage to file a missing person report before I called you about Georgie's accident?"

She snorted. "Yes, and I went several rounds with the numb nuts at the APD that CPS did NOT need to be called. Brandi left George with family and he was fine – she did not abandon her child."

"They have to follow procedure, Mer-"

"Screw procedure, Marshall! The last thing that little boy needs is to be ripped away from the only family he knows. You saw firsthand today how he freaked out when you weren't here when he woke up – and I've never seen him react like that, ever. He didn't have that strong of a reaction when Brandi left. Sure, he cried off and on but this was a full blown panic attack."

"Mary, he had a very traumatic day, followed by a nightmare. When he woke up and I wasn't here – he thought something bad had happened to me. Of course he panicked – any child would."

"He asked me again as he was falling asleep tonight if you could live with us-" Mary took a sip of her wine. "He's gotten very attached to you very quickly."

I stared at her. "You say that like it's a bad thing, like I'm never around. I've always tried to make time for him as well as Nora – you could have knocked me over with a feather when Brandi asked me to be his godfather but nothing could have made me happier. I love that little boy, Mary."

"I know you do, Marshall. But what about Abigail?"

"What about her?"

"What does she think about all this? She can't be happy that you've spent so much time with my kids when you promised her that she would come first, that you would back away from me and all my drama?"

I shook my head. "I told you earlier that conversation is now null and void and I meant it. And as for Abigail and me – well, we're done."

Mary's wine glass trembled in her hand and she set it down next to mine on the table. "Marshall, what do you mean 'we're done'? What did you do?"

"We talked this afternoon when I went to pick up more clothes and I told her that I wasn't being fair to her. She deserves someone who will put her first and give her what she wants – a house full of children and a man who worships the ground she walks on."

"And that man isn't you?"

I shook my head. "I tried to be but – it didn't work. So I'm releasing her so she can be free to find him."

"I think I'm experiencing déjà vu." Mary rubbed her forehead. "This sounds oddly similar to the conversation we had where you asked me to release you so you could be happy with Abigail-"

I cleared my throat. "I made a mistake back then."

"You did?"

"I released the wrong woman."

Mary reached for her wine glass and gulped the contents in one swallow. "I think I need something stronger. Marshall, what are you trying to tell me? That you-" she broke off, the words getting stuck and the emotion shining in her eyes. "That we-"

_Not yet. I can't tell her everything yet. I'm not free – I'm still married and if I tell her now, she will only blame herself for my marriage falling apart and run from me. _

"Abigail's changed," I began slowly, leaning forward to play with the stem of my wine glass. "She's become possessive, jealous, controlling – she's said and done things that I've only recently found out about and it's going to take me awhile to forgive her for them. She's hurt people I love deeply – innocent people – all in the name of trying to hang onto me, and I know I need to share blame in that. As her husband, I should have put her first – should have attended to her needs, loved her more-"

"Marshall, stop!" Mary snapped, moving to sit beside me. "No one knows better than I do how much you have given up and sacrificed for that woman. I know you love her – and she loves you. If she has truly done things that you are having trouble getting past, then she must have done – wait a minute—" Her flow of words came to a halt as her eyes narrowed in on me and I met her glare head on. "People you love deeply: that's a short list, and Nora tops that list. What the hell did that bitch do to my daughter?"

I sighed. "Mer, I've handled it, all right? Nora is fine and I've talked to Abigail. It happened a year ago, at the holiday party-"

"Last YEAR! And I'm just hearing about it now?"

"If it makes you feel better, I just heard about it yesterday."

"Tell me, Marshall, NOW."

Keeping it short and brief, I told her the story as Nora had related it to me, watching as the anger built in her eyes and finally, flinching at the word 'bastard' in reference to her daughter.

"I'll kill her," she breathed the words out softly when I'd finished.

"I thought we were advocating that violence isn't the answer for Nora's sake after the monkey bar incident."

"I'll make an exception in this case."

"Mary-"

"I'm sorry, Marshall, but your wife has lost her fucking mind! How dare she say-"

"What, Mer? What everyone else is saying?"

"How dare you!" Mary leapt to her feet and began to pace. "Get out."

"Wait, I'm not siding with her or them – but you have to have heard the rumors."

"What rumors?" She stopped her movement and stared at me.

"The rumors about Nora's paternity – the ones that say that I'm her father – or the ones that you don't know who her father is because you slept around too much to know yourself."

Mary flinched as if I'd struck her. "Do people really say that?"

I caught her by the shoulders and pulled her into me. "The vicious gossip mongers do, yes."

"Why do people care enough to talk about me? Don't they have enough work to do or something else to occupy their time?" her words were muffled against my shirt.

I chuckled. "I don't know – we spent our fair amount of time gossiping about Stan and Eleanor."

She snorted. "There was nothing between them."

"Whatever you say, Sunshine."

I felt her tense in my hold and I dropped my arms as she stepped back to look up at me. "Mark is Nora's father-"

I dropped my hands to her shoulders. "Mary, you don't have to convince me – I know Mark is her father. Your word has always been good enough for me."

"Does Abigail think you're Nora's father?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "I don't know what she thinks. It's like she's a different woman than the one I married. In some ways, I think you're right: she has lost her mind. She definitely hasn't been the same since she lost the baby."

Mary placed a hand over mine. "Then maybe the two of you really should try counseling. I'd hate for you to have regrets about ending your marriage too soon."

"I don't think Abigail's in an agreeable state of mind to try counseling. No, Mary, it's over."

She removed my hand from her shoulder and squeezed it. "Then I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's me who's sorry – who needs to ask forgiveness of you."

She frowned. "For what?"

"For asking you to release me – to set me free when I had no intention of doing the same for you. Our friendship is too important to me, Mary, to ever walk away and I should have told you that instead of-"

"Marshall, hush. There's nothing to forgive. You were getting married, you were in love-" she shrugged. "I remember what that felt like, kind of." She smiled and I smiled back. "I'm just sorry it didn't work out with Abigail. She made you happy – well, for a while at least. And you deserve to be happy."

"So do you."

The moment was interrupted by a knock at the door and I was so frustrated I could have screamed. The sound caused Mary to jump and her hands fell out of my hold.

"Who the hell could that be?"

I made a calming motion with my hand. "I'll go see. Why don't you top off our glasses?"

"Trying to get me drunk?"

The knock came again, louder this time and I hurried to the door before whoever it was woke up the kids.

"I hope that's not your soon-to-be ex-wife, Marshall," Mary called out behind me. "Because if it is, I just might scratch her eyes out."

Shaking my head, I opened the door and stared at the person on the other side in mild surprise before smiling in welcome.

"Hello, Mark."

"Marshall! I – I didn't expect to see you here – at least, not at this time of night."

"Brandi's out of town and I've been helping Mary with the kids."

Mark clapped me on the shoulder as he came inside. "I know how much she appreciates that, thanks! I'm sorry I've been out of town so much but that's where the work is and I've met this great girl-"

"Well, look what the cat dragged in."

Both of us turned to see Mary standing in the arch to the living room, holding the refilled wine glasses in her hands.

"Hi, Mary. Is one of those for me?"

"That would mean I was psychic and knew you were coming," Mary sneered as she handed me my glass and took another sip from hers. "What brings you by?"

"Can't a father stop by to see his daughter?"

Mary rolled her eyes. "She's asleep, Mark."

"What?" he exclaimed, glancing at the wall clock. "Shit! I didn't know it had gotten so late."

"Hm, yes, no doubt you had other things occupying your time," I muttered as I took in his disheveled appearance. His hair had been finger combed and though his shirt was haphazardly tucked in, the buttons were in the wrong holes. My eyes darted down to see if his fly was zipped. Nope.

Mary smirked and darted a sideways glance at me before taking another sip of her wine. "So, want to come back tomorrow or is Sienna keeping you busy all day?" She turned and walked back into the room to sit down and Mark followed after her like a little puppy dog.

"Her name's Sequoia."

"Whatever."

"Don't do this, Mary. You've met her – she's a great girl and she's wonderful with Nora and-"

Mary's eyes narrowed as she sat down on the couch, giving me the evil eye until I sat next to her. "And what?" she prompted her ex.

"We're pregnant."

I did a perfect spit take of my wine, the dark liquid showering Mary's blond hair. But she didn't even turn to look at me as she questioned Mark. "We? You're pregnant too?"

Mark gritted his teeth, her name coming out on a low groan. "Ma-ry. You can be so difficult sometimes."

"Sometimes?" I repeated, trying not to laugh. "That's her middle name, don't you know?"

That comment earned me a swift elbow to the ribs.

"I really want Nora to spend more time with Sequoia and me during the holidays getting to know her, especially since she's going to have a little brother or sister the middle of next year. Of course, I don't know if we'll be staying in Albuquerque – Sequoia is talking about moving to Phoenix or Las Vegas after the wedding-"

"Wedding?" I broke into Mark's ramble. "You're getting married?"

"Yes, on New Year's Eve. Did I forget to mention that?"

"Must be suffering from pregnancy brain already," Mary muttered to me and I bit back a chuckle.

"And of course we want Nora to be our flower girl-"

"Whoa, slow down there, Tiger." Mary held up her hand. "You've been gone for three weeks with only a text here and there to let your daughter know you were alive and that you missed her. Now suddenly you're back gushing all over the place with talk about a wedding and a baby. Where exactly does Nora fit into this happy family picture? She's going to be excited to see you – and then when you spring the rest on her, you better have a game plan, mister, because our daughter is going to have some choice words for you."

* * *

"I don't want to have a bastard brother or sister!" Nora wailed and stomped her foot.

Mark's mouth fell open in shock as I groaned and clutched my head, wishing I could erase that word from my goddaughter's vocabulary.

"Nora Paige Shannon!" Mary's tone was firm and crack-the-whip no nonsense. "You will apologize to your father and soon-to-be stepmother for calling an innocent baby that name. You didn't like it when Abigail called you that, did you?" She waited for her daughter to shake her head no. "Your father and Sequoia are very excited about their baby – can you try and be a little happy for them?"

Nora's eyes filled with tears. "But what about me?"

Mark reached out to his daughter, pulling her into his lap. "What about you, sweetheart?"

"I don't get to see you now. When you have your own baby, I'll never see you."

Mark smiled and gently tugged a pigtail. "But you're my baby too – nothing's going to change that."

Nora bit her lip and seemed to think about that for a minute before she asked him, "Are you going to live here with me and Mama and Georgie and Uncle Marshall?"

"No, Angel. Sequoia and I will get our own house with the baby."

Sequoia cleared her throat and nudged Mark. He shook his head and she nodded and finally Mark sighed. "Angel, there's something I haven't told you-"

"Mark, I think that's enough new information for today-" I broke in softly.

"I think I know what's best for my child, Marshall."

"He's right, Mark," Mary argued.

"She might as well know now," Mark shook his head. "Sweetie, Sequoia and I aren't going to live in Albuquerque – we're looking at houses in Phoenix-"

Nora leapt out of his lap. "You're moving away? I'll never see you!"

"Nora, wait!" Mark pleaded.

"I hate you!" Nora screamed.

"Don't talk to your father that way, Nora," Mary reprimanded her.

"I wish Uncle Marshall was my father!" Nora screamed as she ran from the living room, slamming her bedroom door behind her.

I sighed as I pushed off the kitchen archway where I had remained for the family discussion. "I'll go talk to her."

"No, I'll go-" Mark began to stand but Mary's words stopped him.

"Let Marshall go. Nora doesn't want to see you and I don't think she'll listen to me right now either."

"But she'll listen to him?" Mark jerked a thumb in my direction. "What makes you so sure?"

Mary shrugged. "Because I always do – and Nora is my daughter."

* * *

I tapped lightly on the locked door.

"Go AWAY!"

"Love bug, it's me, Uncle Marshall. Please open the door."

I heard shuffling from inside and a snick as the lock released and then Nora was throwing herself into my arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I lifted her slight weight easily, cradling her against my chest, whispering sweet soothing words against her cheek as I walked into her room and shut the door behind me.

"Lock – it," she shuddered the words between her sobs.

I reached back and pressed the button lock and resumed my walk to her bed, sitting down with her cradled in my arms. I smoothed the wisps of hair back from her face, and continued to whisper and kiss the side of her head. Eventually the storm passed and she lay limp in my embrace, hiccupping and swiping at her runny nose.

I chuckled and reached for the box of tissues that was on her nightstand, helping her clean her face. When she was done, she tilted her face up to look into mine. Her nose and eyes were red and puffy and I could still see the hurt and anger that lay just underneath the surface. She was so like Mary – I wondered if I would still be around to see how much she resembled her mother when she was all grown up.

"I didn't mean it, Uncle Marshall. I don't hate my daddy."

"I know that, love bug, and so does he – but it does hurt when you say words like that. I know you are angry about his moving away and that's what you were really trying to say – that you were angry and hurt."

Nora nodded. "But I did mean the other thing I said. I do wish you were my daddy too."

My heart swelled with love for the girl in my arms but at the same time it broke a little for the man in the living room who was her biological father. "Nora, listen to me. We've talked about this. You have a father and he's a kind, wonderful, loving man. Just because he's having a baby with Sequoia and moving to another city doesn't mean he loves you any less – you will always be his baby girl, his first child. No other child that comes after you can take that away from you."

"Just like I'll always be your goddaughter?"

I grinned. "Exactly. Now, what do you say you unlock the door and go give your daddy a kiss and let him know you still love him?"

Nora leaned up and gave me a wet smack on the cheek. "I love you, Uncle Marshall."

"I love you more, love bug."

She ran to the door, opening it so fast that Mary nearly fell into the room. "Mama! What are you doing? Were you listening to us?"

"Me? To you and Uncle Marshall? Of course not!"

Nora giggled and skipped down the hall and Mary watched her go, shaking her head in amazement, as I came to stand behind her in the doorway.

"How do you do it?" she questioned me, nudging my shoulder with hers.

I tugged and straightened the collar of my shirt in a show of modesty. "Well, I have a way with Shannon women, you know."

Mary reached up and touched my cheek, wiping away the saliva from Nora's kiss. Her fingers lingered for just a moment on my skin before she dropped her hand back to her side. "Yes, you do."

She walked away and left me standing there in the hall, my cheek tingling not from Nora's kiss but from the touch of Mary's fingertips.

* * *

_A/N: I want to apologize if any of you reading this is named Sequoia. I actually like the name and know someone with this name - but I can just imagine Mary poking fun at it. Poor Nora - Thank God she has Marshall to help her through her complicated family dynamics, right? Will he be around for the long haul? grins evilly Stay tuned. Reviews are LOVE!_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: So RL has reached a new level of low for me this past week as I have injured my back and am starting PT on Monday. It's really too bad that writing fanfiction doesn't pay anything. _

_Tissue warning for the next couple of chapters - that's all I'm going to say right now._

* * *

"_**Hold, Hold me for a while**_

_**I know this won't last forever**_

_**So hold, hold me tonight**_

_**Before the morning takes you away."**_

_**-Rednex**_

* * *

**Two Months Later**

**Sunshine Building**

I glanced at the clock above the conference table before shuffling my papers and clearing my throat. "If there's nothing else?" I paused for a few seconds to allow my people to bring up any issues that hadn't been covered in the staff meeting. But when silence and blank stares met my question, I knew it was time to dismiss. "Fine, let's get back to work then."

Jack left the fishbowl first – and I watched him go, wondering not for the first time what went on inside that man's head. He'd come on board a few months after my promotion, to fill the spot I'd left vacant and not even Delia's friendliness and culinary delights could get the man to say more than a simple yes or no to her questions. Still, he did his job, got all his paperwork in on time, and I had never had any complaints from the witnesses about him. When Mary had to take someone with her on a transport, Jack was her first choice, preferring his quiet, solid presence to Delia's constant inane chatter. I just wish I could figure out what it was about the man that bothered me. Perhaps it was nothing more than a case of 'partner envy'. I'd be jealous of anyone who got to partner with Mary, especially a man.

And I needed to nip those feelings in the bud fast.

I jumped as I felt Mary lean over my right shoulder, her breath hot in my ear. "Thinking about asking Jack out on a date?"

Eyes twinkling, I swiveled in my chair to face her. "Think he'd say yes?"

She straightened up, tapping a finger on her chin in thought. "Hmm, you could do worse – Jack on the other hand-"

"Mary!" Delia broke in with a horrified expression on her face. "Our boss' divorce isn't even finalized yet and here you are playing matchmaker – and trying to set our boss up with a man no less! You should be ashamed of yourself." She grabbed her stack of files and stormed out.

Mary and I locked eyes before dissolving in helpless laughter. Even after all this time, Delia still hadn't caught onto our teasing, let alone our inside jokes that had been formed from a decade long partnership. When Mary had caught her breath, she sank into the nearest chair and looked at me seriously. "When is your divorce final?"

"My lawyer served the papers to Abigail earlier this week – so I'm just waiting for her to sign them."

"Hm, and you think she will – just like that?"

I sighed. "I don't know – I hope so. I haven't heard a word from her since before the holidays. She went back to Texas to her family and didn't contact me when she got back – I don't know if that's a good sign or not."

Mary reached across the tabletop and bumped her hand against mine. "Let's take it as a good one."

I grunted. "Mary Shannon, an optimist? Quit it, you're scaring me."

She shrugged. "I've had lots of practice lately, you know that – for George."

I nodded and grasped her fingers in mine. "We'll hear something about Brandi soon – we have to."

She swallowed and her fingers tightened around mine. "I hope so."

It had been a long, grueling two months for Mary and I had tried to shoulder and share as much of the burden with her as I could. Most evenings, I'd follow her home and cook dinner, then play with the kids and help her tuck them in for the night. If I wasn't working on the weekends, I was at Mary's house, spending time with George and Nora.

At first, Mary had protested strongly against my being there so often. She said that the kids would get used to my presence and when things changed or something witness related came up, as they always would, they would be devastated and not understand. But I had talked to Nora and Georgie extensively, telling them both that I couldn't come over all the time and that I wasn't moving in.

At least not yet. I hadn't shared my long term plans with Mary – knowing that she would only run. I had no illusions about my ex-partner. I knew that my feelings for her were still one-sided and that they likely always would be. But since Mark had moved to Phoenix after marrying Sequoia and Brandi was still MIA, both of those kids needed a man in their lives, and I was determined to be it.

I had rented a basement apartment from Mrs. Thompkins, one of Mary's neighbors, who was only too happy to have a man and a guard dog about the place. She was also more than willing to feed and look after Oscar when I was out of town for work.

No one had seen or heard from Brandi since Thanksgiving. Of course there had been multiple sightings and tips ever since Mary had filled out the missing person report. So many in fact that Jinx had tearfully begged me to screen the tips myself, as she no longer wanted to get her hopes up. When I asked Mary if this was all right with her, she agreed, saying that she needed to focus on protecting George from hearing any of these false reports.

As I sat in the fishbowl with Mary today, her fingers wrapped around mine, I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and comfort her. But too many eyes were watching us and I didn't know how she would react to such an open display of affection. One minute she was vulnerable and sinking into me, grateful for a moment of peace in her best friend's arms. But the next minute she was as prickly as a desert cactus – and yet, I loved her anyway.

"We will find her, Mer."

She raised emotion filled eyes to mine. "Alive?"

Words failed me and looking over her shoulder, I saw Delia buzzing Emma Jean into the office. I'd never been so glad to be interrupted by work. "EJ's here."

Mary snatched her hand back and her mask fell back in place as the door opened and Delia ushered a girl barely on the cusp of womanhood inside. Mary stood and walked towards her, her arm raised and encircled the girl's shoulders gently.

"Hi, EJ – how are you?"

EJ shrugged. "Big." She ran a shaking hand over her pregnant belly. "I'm just glad I wasn't showing when you got me out of there."

Mary nodded. "This is my boss, Marshall Mann."

I stood and came around the table slowly, not wanting to frighten her, knowing all the trauma this girl had been through. Still, I tried not to wince as EJ retreated a step in Mary's hold at my approach and I stopped in my tracks.

"It's nice to meet you, EJ."

She swallowed nervously. "You – you look like-"

Mary's eyes darted to mine. "Oh my God – I didn't think. He does look a little like him, doesn't he?"

EJ nodded and averted her gaze.

Understanding instantly flooded me along with rage that I tamped down so EJ wouldn't see it in my face. "I'll just step outside then, OK? And wait for the McCalls to arrive."

EJ shrugged off Mary's touch and walked around the table to sit down. Mary grabbed my sleeve, communicating her apology with her eyes. I shook my head slightly, removed her fingers with a reassuring squeeze and left before I inadvertently caused any more damage.

Delia caught up with me as I was crossing to my office. "Hey Chief, you're not going to punch your wall again, are you? 'Cause if you were Yosemite Sam, steam would be coming out of your ears right now."

I took a deep breath and turned to her with a sad smile. "No, Dee, I'm fine. Just upset with my sex at the moment."

Delia raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I don't think I can help you with that."

I laughed dryly. "No, I don't think you can either. Just let me know when the McCalls arrive. I'll need to debrief them as much as possible and then you can take them into the conference room to meet with Mary and EJ."

"But I thought you were going to sit in."

I shook my head. "No, not this time."

* * *

It had been a long day.

I should have gone home hours ago. I knew Nora and Georgie would be disappointed but I had remembered to call and say good night and they had extracted a promise from me that I would be there for breakfast in the morning. Mary had gotten on the phone and told me I was a pushover and then said that Oscar was over there with them so not to panic when I got home and he wasn't in the apartment. I shook my head as I hung up the phone. I should just give the lazy mutt to her and the kids and be done with it.

"Still burning the midnight oil, I see."

My shoulders tensed and I looked over the top of my readers to see Abigail standing in my doorway, backlit by the few lights still left on in the office. "How did you get in here?"

She jerked her head to the side. "Howard let me in – he obviously hasn't heard about our impending divorce."

I looked out to see the night janitor cheerfully whistling as he mopped the floor. As if he sensed my gaze, he looked up and waved before returning to his task. I groaned. "Abby, what are you doing here? As you can see I'm very busy and it's late and I'd really like to be in bed before midnight."

Her lips twitched. "Too late."

I glanced at the clock on the edge of my desk. _12:30am. _"Damn it," I swore and threw my readers onto the stack of files. "Is there a reason you stopped by in the middle of the night?"

She nodded as she came inside, shutting the door behind her. "I wanted to talk."

My danger sense was pinging. "Now? Couldn't you have called and we could have met for lunch?"

She shook her head. "You would have blown me off – we both know that. This was the best option. I know that you get your best work done late at night – or at least, you used to. I took a chance you still do."

I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Abby, can you please get to the point? It's late-"

She pulled a large manila envelope from her handbag. "I got the papers on Monday – and I wanted to talk to you before I signed them."

My eyes widened. _She's going to sign them? Just like that? _I gestured to the chair and waited until she had sat down before continuing. "About what?"

She cleared her throat, playing with the thin gold necklace around her throat. "First, I need to apologize to you. I know," she held up a hand to forestall my words, "I said those words a lot during the last few months of our marriage but I really do mean them this time. This," she cleared her throat again. "This isn't going to be easy for me to say so I need you to be quiet and let me say the whole piece before you speak, all right?"

I nodded.

"After you packed your clothes and left, I tried to kill myself-"

I gasped and tried to stand but she raised both her hands in supplication. "Please, Marshall, you gave your word, remember?"

I sat back down, my heart hammering in my throat.

"I – I got my service weapon from the safe and stared at it for the longest time, thinking about just pulling the trigger and ending it all, and how sorry you'd be once I was gone. But thank God, Mrs. Humphrey came over to check on me – she'd heard our fight and seen you leave – and she saw me through the window with the gun. She broke in and took the gun and we talked for a long time. She convinced me to take a leave of absence from work and go see my family in Texas, and to seek professional help. So I did – and my family was horrified when they saw me. They wanted to come here and find you and kill you for not taking care of me but I stopped them, saying it was all my fault – that something was wrong with me. I started seeing a therapist and they took me to a doctor and between the two of them, they figured out that the hormone therapy I've been on to increase our chances of getting pregnant – well, it had actually done me some emotional harm. I don't understand all of it even now, but I do know that I'm just now feeling like I'm waking from a terrible nightmare. I finally feel like I've got control over my emotions for the first time in months."

I sat in shocked disbelief for several long minutes trying to process this information. Mary had in a sense been right: my wife had lost her fucking mind. I remember clearly the day Abigail had come to me, begging and pleading to start hormone therapy. I had argued that there was no need. We had gotten pregnant without it – we just needed time to grieve and then let nature take its course. But she had been nearly frantic for a child, and in my desire to please her, I had given in. Now I wished to God I hadn't.

"I should have listened to you all those months ago," Abigail whispered as if she was reading my thoughts. "You were certain that we didn't need drug enhancements and I didn't listen. I'm so sorry, Marshall."

I stood and came around the desk to crouch beside the chair. "I'm the one who is sorry, Abs. I'm sorry I didn't see sooner what was happening to you, that I didn't push us to go into therapy to talk about everything, that I couldn't give you what you wanted."

She raised a shaky hand and cupped my cheek. "You can't force yourself to love someone-"

I groaned and leaned into her touch. "But I did love you, Abby, I do love you."

She took a deep breath. "I know – you wouldn't have married me if you didn't love me, Marshall Mann."

I dropped a kiss in her palm before standing up. "Are you doing OK now?"

"I'm getting there. I just wanted to come and talk to you, explain everything before signing the papers. Do you have a pen?"

"Abby." My hand closed over hers. "You don't have to do this now. You can sign them tomorrow – or next week even."

She shook her head. "But that's not fair to you, or her. I know the two of you must be-"

"There is no two of us- I don't know that there ever will be. Not like that."

She squeezed my hand and smiled sadly. "You give your powers of persuasion far too little credit, Marshall Mann. Don't let this-" she waved the papers between us. "-be for nothing."

I watched as she signed her name underneath mine on the legal document with mixed feelings.

"Oh, I have something else that's yours-" she reached into her purse and drew out my grandmother's ring, her engagement ring.

"Abby, no-"

She shook her head. "I can't keep it – it hurts too much and it belongs to your family, Marshall. I know Mary will never wear it – not since I did and it's not her style. But maybe, one day, Nora might?"

I dropped a kiss on the top of her head as she placed the ring in my hand. "Thank you."

We jolted apart as her cell rang and Abigail answered it with a crisp, "Detective Chaffee."

I watched as her posture stiffened and her eyes met mine in shock. My blood ran cold and I waited on pins and needles for her to finish the call.

Abigail hung up and cleared her throat. "That was a friend of my mine from Vice. They raided a meth house on the East Side tonight and found a couple of Jane Doe's in the back bedroom – one of them matches Brandi Shannon's description."

My eyes fluttered shut.

"Marshall? Should I call Mary?"

"No!" I gasped as I stood and reached for my jacket. "We've had so many false leads that Jinx and Mary have given me the green light to screen all incoming calls."

She shook her head. "She's not going to thank you for getting there first on this one – I really think it's Brandi this time."

I froze. "Why?"

"Because this Jane Doe had a picture of a young boy with her-"

I started to shake. "That still doesn't mean-"

"There are words written on the back. It says, 'My darling Georgie, age 3."

* * *

I rested my forehead against Mary's front door, trying to erase the image of Brandi Shannon lying on a slab in the morgue. If she hadn't had the picture of George and the strawberry colored birthmark on her hip, I would have even had trouble saying it was her – her appearance was that altered. Her hair was bright green and spiked and she had a couple of fresh tattoos on her upper arms and chest – I had no idea if they were permanent or henna, but it was amazing how much they altered her appearance. Add to that how much the meth had ravaged her physical appearance and she was a far cry from the innocent, doe-eyed Brandi Shannon I had known the past several years. I didn't want Mary to have to see her like that but a family member was going to have to identify her and there was no way in hell I was taking Georgie down there. Jinx might insist on going but I knew that Mary wouldn't let her go alone – and I wouldn't let Mary go alone either.

I nearly fell inside when Mary jerked the door open. "I thought that was you, partner. What are you doing standing on the doorstep in the middle of the night?"

I swallowed. "I thought you'd be sleeping."

She snorted. "With two kids and your dog under the same roof? Yeah, right. Get in here." She turned and didn't wait to see if I'd follow as she made her way back into the living room. "I was just doing some paperwork since I thought you might be stopping by before- Marshall, what the hell's wrong with you?" Her hand hovered above her wine glass. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Did something spook you on the way over here?"

"Abigail stopped by the office tonight-"

Mary held up a hand. "Enough said. I'll pour you a drink. Wine OK or do you need something stronger-"

"Mary, STOP!"

She halted mid-step, her eyes wide and questioning. "What's happened?"

"While we were talking, Abigail got a call from Vice. They'd raided a house and had found a couple of Jane Doe's in the back, one of them matched Brandi's description so I went with her to the morgue-" I stopped to clear my throat, trying in vain to get some moisture in it.

"No."

"Mary, I'm so sorry-"

She backed away as I tried to gather her in my arms. "No. You're wrong – it's not Brandi. She's not a meth addict, Marshall. She likes Coke – how does one go from Coke to Meth?"

"Mary."

"Besides, everyone is said to have a double somewhere, right? I mean, look at what happened today and EJ's reaction to you. She freaked out because you looked like her rapist and you and I both know you're not. So even if this girl looked something like Brandi, you and I both know that's ridiculous because-"

I gathered her into my arms, holding her tight. "Mary."

"No!" She slapped my arms, trying to break free. "It's not Squish, it's not!"

"She had a picture of Georgie, taken just after his third birthday, remember? And she had the birthmark on her hip. Oh my love, I'm sorry, it's her."

"NO, Marshall! Not Squish, not Squish."

Mary collapsed against me in a violent fit of weeping and I did what I always do when Mary or Nora was upset, but I knew it wouldn't be enough, not this time. I held her tight, smoothed her hair back, and whispered soothing words against her temple. At first she resisted my embrace, curling her hands into fists and pounding my back, but I didn't mind. I knew it was all part of her grieving and if she needed to use me as a punching bag, so be it. When the punches subsided and her fists opened, her hands grabbing handfuls of my shirt instead, I picked her up bridal style and carried her down the hall to her bedroom.

I was relieved to find it unoccupied except for a snoring Oscar. Nudging him off the bed with the toe of my boot, I sat down on the mattress and cradled a still sobbing Mary to my chest.

"My fault," she was gasping between sobs. "I should – have seen – should have – known – oh Squish."

I didn't correct her then, didn't tell her that none of this was her fault, that Brandi was responsible for her own life choices. Brandi was the little sister that Mary had essentially raised since their mother was a blackout drunk and their father abandoned the family. In a way, Brandi had been her child, a dry run for Nora – and I knew that Mary would be feeling enormous guilt over her sister's death. Tonight she would grieve and allow herself to be held and comforted. But I held no illusions. Tomorrow she would stuff all her emotions deep down inside and lock them up tight in order to be there for Georgie and Jinx.

Her sobs were slowing and I knew that the late hour combined with the tragic news were starting to take their toil as I felt her began to relax in my arms. I reached for the throw blanket behind me and she tensed, her arms tightening around me.

"Don't go."

I brushed some of her tears away with my fingers. "I'm not going anywhere tonight."

Reassured, her hold loosened and I grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around us as I lay down, taking her with me. She rolled to face me, burying her wet face in my shirt front.

"Will you stay in the morning and help me tell-" her voice broke and I felt her body tremble as I pulled her into me.

"I'll help you with whatever you need, Mer, whenever you need it. You call, I come, every time, remember?"

The only answer I got was a gentle snore and I breathed a little easier knowing that I was able to at least help her get a little rest to prepare for the next few days. I took a risk and breathed a kiss against the corner of her mouth. She moaned and her lips twitched in response but she didn't open her eyes.

"Sleep, my love," I whispered. "I'll be here when you wake."

* * *

_A/N: Reviews are LOVE._


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Thank you for all your well-wishes. My back is getting better, the PT is helping - though my cats think I have lost my mind when I do my exercises!_

_Back to the story - it was really hard for me to "kill" Brandi. For those of you that are long time readers of mine, I tend to let her 'grow up' in my stories and give her the happily ever after with Peter that her character never got on the show. But again, since this story prompt was for angst, I decided to go full out in a different direction. (If you all need some happiness for Ms. Brandi after this fic, may I suggest (re)reading my duo "Christmas Dreams" and "New Year's Wishes".) Now that I've shamelessly plugged my own stories, let me say one more thing. For those of you that thought the angst was going to be coming from Abigail - don't count her out yet. We're only about halfway through this tale. . . ._

_And hang onto those tissues - M&amp;M tell the kids about Brandi first thing. DISCLAIMER: all religious views expressed in this chapter and later on in this work aren't mine. So no flames, please._

* * *

I woke up the next morning wrapped around the woman I loved, though I dearly wished it was under better circumstances. I was spooned around Mary's body and sometime during the night, my hand had crept underneath the sweatshirt she wore, my thumb lazily stroking the flesh just above her navel. I swallowed hard, relieved that I had woken before she had or I would be missing that digit. Slowly I lifted my hand so it was no longer in contact with her skin and then slid it out from under her shirt.

"mm, Marshall," she murmured and I felt my head spin at her saying my name like that.

_She's trying to kill me. _

"Marshall?"

Her voice sounded clearer now, and I propped my head up on my hand to see over her shoulder. She was blinking sleepily, still not fully awake but no longer asleep either.

"Yes?"

"Last night – did you-" she cleared her throat. "Brandi's dead."

I squeezed her tighter to me. "I'm sorry."

A shudder passed through her and then she rolled over to face me, her eyes bright with emotion. "Just for a moment, when I woke up, I thought the whole thing had been a nightmare, you know?"

"So being in bed with me would be a nightmare?"

She punched me in the shoulder before collapsing against my chest, burying her face in my shirt. "How am I going to tell Georgie – and Jinx?" she groaned. "Mom is going to fall off the wagon."

I ran a soothing hand up and down her back. "Don't go borrowing trouble, Mer. Your mom has been sober for years and she has two very good reasons to stay sober now."

Mary lifted her face to look me in the eye. "What reasons?"

"Nora and Georgie."

"Uncle Marshall, why are you in bed with my mama?"

I turned to see Nora standing by the side of the bed, clutching Biscuit the second in her arms. At the sight of the teddy bear, Mary's eyes filled and she rolled away from me to sit up and gather herself. I grunted and sat up, pushing the blanket to the bottom of the bed. "Good morning, love bug. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, but I want to know why-"

"Your mama was upset last night – I was just giving her a hug, like I do with you sometimes."

Nora's eyes got big. "Why is mama sad? What's wrong?"

Mary came and sat next to me, her eyes bright. "Bug, I have some sad news about Aunt Brandi – Uncle Marshall just told me." She stole a glance at me, waiting for me to contradict her and say that it had been last night but I nodded and waited for her to continue. "Aunt Brandi – she's not coming home - ever."

Nora frowned. "Why not?"

Mary looked at me and I took Nora's hands in mine. "Because she's in heaven with the angels, Love Bug. Aunt Brandi's dead."

Nora's eyes filled with tears. "What about Georgie? Will he have to live on the streets now?"

Mary gathered her daughter into her lap. "Oh no, Bug! He'll live with us, just like he has been."

"And Uncle Marshall too?"

Mary shook her head but I broke in. "Nothing's been decided about that yet but I'll continue to come over and be around a lot, OK? Georgie is going to need all of us to help him through this."

Nora nodded. "I'll go see if he's awake."

Mary caught her daughter's hand. "Nora, don't tell him about his mama, OK? Let me and Uncle Marshall do that."

Nora nodded. "I won't. If he's awake, I'll bring him to see you, I promise." She nodded and left the room.

Mary turned fiery eyes on me. "What the hell was that, Marshall?"

"What was what?"

"You're 'nothing's been decided yet' – you can't honestly expect to move in with us and play-"

"Good morning, Aunt Mary!"

Mary was distracted from our conversation as Georgie landed on her lap in a flying tackle. I looked up to see a scared Nora hovering in the doorway. "Why don't Nora and I see what we can find for breakfast while you talk to Georgie? Unless you'd rather I-"

Mary waved me away. "No, you've done enough damage."

I hid a grin as I stood and took Nora's hand in mine and headed for the kitchen. "Uncle Marshall, did you sleep in those clothes?"

I tweaked her nose. "See, too smart for your own good."

"Why don't you just move in with us? You're here all the time anyway."

I chuckled. "It's your mama that needs convincing."

Nora smiled. "I'll talk to her."

I nearly dropped the bowl I was lifting out of the cupboard. "No, Nora- not yet. It's complicated."

She wrinkled her nose. "I hate that word."

"Can you keep a secret? Me too."

We had just finished mixing the batter for pancakes when Georgie's scream of "UNCLE MARS!" pierced the stillness.

"Stay here, OK?" I told Nora as I trotted back to Mary's room.

Georgie was standing in the middle of the room, his hands clenched in fists. Mary was kneeling in front of him, pleading softly, but he was backing away from her. Her eyes met mine as I entered.

"Georgie?" I whispered.

He whirled at the sound of my voice. "Mama dead?"

I crouched down to be on eye level with him. "I'm sorry, Sport."

His lower lip began to tremble. "She's not coming home?"

I shook my head.

"I hate you!" Georgie screamed at me before turning to Mary. "And I hate you!"

Nora ran into the room. "Georgie, stop! You are mad and sad and scared but it's going to be OK. We love you and you can live with us and it's OK to miss your mama but don't say you hate Uncle Marshall and my mama because you don't – I know you don't."

Tears rolled down Georgie's face. "Ray," he whispered, reaching for her. "I want mama."

She ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. "I know you do – but she's in heaven with the angels and God now – isn't that beautiful? She loves you, Georgie – I know she does. Come on, you can help me with the pancakes."

He shook his head. "Not hungry."

She frowned. "How about cartoons?"

He shook his head again.

"Color?"

He shrugged.

"OK, I'll color and you can watch – then maybe you will want to join me." She kissed his wet cheek and pulled him out the door.

Mary collapsed on her bed. "I can't do this – please tell me this is a nightmare and I'll wake up soon."

I went over and sat next to her, wrapping her in my arms, slightly surprised when she buried her face in my neck. "Why don't you take a nice hot shower while the kids and I finish making breakfast?"

She raised her face to look at me. "But Jinx-"

"The news can wait for another hour or so. You need to rest and recharge before facing her. Do you want me to go with you? We can get Joanna to sit with the kids or I can stay with them while you go- what?" I broke off at the look on her face.

"Nothing – I'm just not used to having someone there for me."

"Well, get used to it."

A brief smile flitted across her face. "I need to tell Jinx alone but later when I have to go identify the body, if you could-" words failed her but I knew what she was asking.

I cupped her face in my hands. "I would never let you face that alone."

"You faced it alone."

"That's different – I'm not the one who raised her." I breathed a kiss against her forehead. "Enjoy your shower."

* * *

After breakfast, Mary told me that she had decided that she needed to see Brandi first, because Jinx would demand firsthand knowledge. We called Joanna and after explaining the reason why we needed her on such short notice, she couldn't get there fast enough. Getting the kids to release us was a different story. Both of them clung to us, Georgie in particular, crying and pleading with us not to leave him. It was only after I repeatedly promised that I would return and would stay at the house for the next few days that he finally let go of my legs.

"This is only temporary, mind," Mary said to me as we got out at the morgue.

"We'll see."

The county coroner was surprised to see us until he realized that he hadn't had the time to call us. "I'm so sorry, Miss Shannon, but there wasn't any reason for you to come down here. I got the fingerprints back on the Jane Doe that Mr. Mann identified as Brandi Shannon last night and he was correct. So we don't need your identification after all."

I looked at Mary and watched as she slowly closed and opened her eyes. "I would still like to see my sister."

The coroner had the grace to look embarrassed. "Of course, of course. Right this way."

We followed him down the cold, empty hallways and soon were standing in front of the drawer that now had the label: 'Shannon, B' instead of 'Doe, J'. Mary reached out a hand but I stopped her.

"Perhaps I should warn you first, Mer, about her appearance."

"I've seen meth addicts before, Marshall."

"None of them were your baby sister."

She steeled herself against my words. "I have to do this, Marshall, and if you cannot stay with me-"

I lifted my restraining hand and backed up a step as she placed her hand on the handle and pulled the drawer open, revealing the woman who in life had been Brandi Shannon.

Mary gasped and choked back a sob and I watched her as her eyes took in her sister's altered appearance: green hair, tattoos, so skinny that one could count the bones, teeth rotting and falling out of her mouth, eyes sunken and hollow looking.

"Oh Squish," she breathed brokenly. "What happened? Where did I go wrong? Where did I fail you?" She began to stroke Brandi's forehead. "You and I – we were going to make it, remember? Break the Shannon curse. Find a way to be happy – and I thought we had! I had Nora and you had Georgie – I thought we were doing OK. What happened?" She bit her lower lip to hold in a sob. "Where did I fail you?"

Unable to take it any longer, I stepped up and wrapped my arms around her from behind. "You didn't fail her, Mer. You raised her and protected her and looked after her from the time she was a tiny baby but you know better than anyone that we can't protect them from the world. Eventually we have to let our children, our siblings grow up and make their own choices – and sometimes this is where those bad choices lead."

She turned and sobbed into my chest and for a few minutes, I held her and looked down into the blank visage of Brandi Shannon. When the worst of Mary's tears had passed, I flipped the sheet over Brandi's face and together we shut the drawer.

"Do you want me to go with you to tell Jinx?" I whispered, my arm still around her shoulders as I steered her out of the dim interior and into the sunlight.

She squinted in the sudden brightness. "No. Georgie needs you right now – go on home and I'll be back as soon as I can."

I squeezed her shoulder. "Don't rush – Jinx may need you to stay with her a bit. We don't want her falling off the wagon over this."

She shuddered. "God forbid. I'll stay until she's gotten ahold of her sponsor or is on her way to a meeting or something. I hope I don't have to ask her back to the house – it's crowded enough right now."

"Hey," I protested as I started the truck. "My apartment is just down the street-"

"Yes, but you promised Georgie you'd stay with us for a few days, remember?"

"Are you complaining?"

Her lips twitched as she looked out the window. "About you? No. Now your dog is a different story."

* * *

The day of Brandi's memorial service dawned cold and clear. I was surprised – usually whenever it came time to bury someone, the weather was cold, damp, and drizzly. But the sunshine was nearly blinding despite the cold. No one mentioned the fact that Mary's birthday was in two days. She had never liked her birthday and now that her sister had been found dead in a drug house so close to that particular date, I had a feeling she would shoot anyone who even dared to wish her a happy birthday.

"I can't believe this weather," Mary muttered from the back of our rented town car. "I thought it was almost a law of God or something that it rain whenever we bury someone."

"Mary," I reprimanded her softly and looked across at where Jinx was trying to take her mind off the day's event by distracting her grandchildren. The woman had aged ten years in the past week but I was secretly proud of the fact that she hadn't fallen off the wagon. She told me in confidence that she had put pictures of her grandkids behind every cupboard door in her tiny apartment so whenever she took out a glass, she thought of her reasons for staying sober. I watched now as she leaned over and kissed the top of Georgie's head.

The car came to a halt and I looked out the window at the grand façade of St Michal's. "We're here."

Jinx sighed. "I guess we can't ask the driver to take us for a drive instead."

Mary smiled sadly. "No, mom."

"Or to McDonald's?" Nora clapped her hands.

"Afterwards, Love Bug," I whispered. "I'll take you to lunch after."

The five of us exited the car, Mary, Jinx, and Nora in front, with me and Georgie in back. He clung fiercely to my hand. "I don't want to go," He whispered, tugging on my hand and bringing me to a halt. I crouched down beside him on the sidewalk.

"I know, Sport, but there are lots of people inside who have come to say good-bye to your mom. Some of them from church, some from work, and some are her friends. Some are your friends too – they just want to say hi and see that you are OK."

"I'm not OK!" Georgie yelled.

I winced. "I know, Sport, I know. But the people inside loved your mom and you – she'd be so proud of you in your little suit."

Georgie looked down. "Will I see her?"

I frowned. "Who?"

"My mama."

I took a deep breath. "No, Georgie. Your mama is in heaven – she's not inside the church." I didn't take the time to explain that Brandi had been cremated and already placed in the mausoleum. "But there will be a big picture of her up front with lots of flowers."

"Oh."

"Are you ready?"

"Will you stay wif me? You no leave?"

I shook my head. "I won't leave and I'll stay with you the whole time."

"Marshall? Is anything the matter?"

I looked up to see Mary standing at the top of the stairs, holding Nora's hand. I reached out for Georgie's hand and he grabbed it, swinging it back and forth. "We're coming, Mer."

* * *

I was surprised at the number of people at Brandi's memorial and the reception that followed. Apparently she had made a number of friends and had been fairly active in her church before getting addicted to drugs again.

Georgie's Sunday School teacher Ms. Jones was thrilled to see him and expressed the hope of seeing him again soon. When she looked at Mary accusingly, Mary stammered out a reply that she would try her best. I tried not to choke on my punch as she elbowed me in the ribs.

"You were no help."

"Was I supposed to be? I was just amused that that tiny little woman was actually able to strong arm you into coming to church."

Mary sniffed. "I didn't say I'd come."

I leaned over and breathed the words in her ear. "You didn't say you wouldn't, either."

There were two guests that surprised the Shannon family as well as myself. The first was Raph, who had brought along his wife, Mary.

After introductions, Mary asked what had brought Raph to Brandi's service. Raph smiled sadly. "I always had a soft spot for her, you know that. She and I had remained in touch since we broke our engagement and I knew that she was having trouble with her addiction again-"

Mary started. "You did? Why on earth didn't you tell me?"

"She begged me not to. She didn't want to lose custody of her son – and she couldn't bear to disappoint you, Mary. She loved you like a second mother – you must know that. She thought she was strong enough to fight it off on her own – I begged and pleaded with her to get help and I thought she listened but –" Raph shrugged. "I'm so sorry, Mary."

Mary blinked back tears and I paced my hands on her shoulders, squeezing them in comfort.

"Thanks for coming, Raph," I murmured, breaking the tense moment.

He shrugged. "I loved her too – like the little sister I never had."

The second surprise guest was Peter. He cut quite a figure in his black three piece Armani suit and whispers followed him as he made his way through the reception, his eyes red rimmed.

"Mary, Marshall."

Mary's mouth fell open at the sight of him so I stuck my hand out. "Peter. How are you?"

He ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I've been better. Mary, you're probably wondering what I'm doing here but I had to come. I need you to know that even after everything - I never stopped loving your sister."

Mary's eyes filled. "Peter," she whispered. "My sister was so – conflicted over what happened between the two of you but I do know that she loved you too."

Peter nodded. "I – I never thought things would end this way – I always thought there would be time for me and her – for us." He cleared his throat. "But here we are."

Peter's gaze flicked to where Brandi's life size portrait was hanging. "If her death has taught me anything, it's that you don't waste time. If you get a second chance in life, in love, don't waste it." He turned and left the room without saying good-bye to either one of us.

Mary took a deep shuddering breath. "I think I need a drink."

"I was going to go check on the kids – can you wait a few minutes and then I'll get you one?"

Mary looked at me for a long moment and then started. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

I laid a hand on her arm. "Are you all right?"

"There's too many ghosts here – mine AND Brandi's. Paths not taken, paths that should have been taken-" she shook her head. "Sorry, I think what Peter said got to me."

"He's not wrong."

"Isn't he? Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie, Marshall. I think I'm going to go find that drink-"

As I watched her walk away, I realized that I had nothing tying her to me. There was Nora, of course, and she would never keep my goddaughter from me. But her comment about letting sleeping dogs lie – was that a pointed hint that it was best to leave our relationship as it was? That to stir the pot at this point would only cause it to boil over and create such a mess that it would prompt us to toss the pot out rather than clean up the mess?

Was there a way to find out without ruining everything I had?

* * *

_A/N: Whew. OK, we made it through Brandi's memorial and the surprise guests. Poor Marshall - is he going to retreat now because of what Mary said? Stay tuned. Reviews are LOVE!_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: So this chapter takes a time jump. It's been 3 months since Brandi's memorial. Marshall has been staying over at Mary's every night - is that making his life less complicated? Let's see. . . ._

* * *

**3 Months Later**

**Mary's house**

"Hurry up, love bug! You don't want to be late for school on your birthday!" I called over my shoulder as I zipped Nora's Disney Frozen lunch bag shut.

Georgie danced circles around me. "Ray's six!"

I grinned and scooped him up in my arms. "Yes – and next month you'll be four – what do you want for your birthday?"

He sobered instantly and looked at me with serious eyes. "Mama."

I cleared my throat. "I know you miss her, Sport, but-"

The bedroom door banged shut and Nora skidded into the kitchen. "Look, Uncle Marshall! Mama gave me special birthday hair – I'm pretty!"

I set Georgie down and crouched to meet Nora's eyes, taking in the elaborate twin French braids before I gently tweaked her nose. "Very pretty. Now, will you read a short story to Georgie while I take in some breakfast to your mom?"

"She said she wasn't hungry."

I frowned as I stood up, trying to hide the worry I felt from the kids. It had been a rough month. Nora and George had both come down with Chicken Pox and while I had had them as a child and was therefore immune, Mary had not. Both of the kids had fairly mild cases, but Mary had spiked a very high fever that lasted for three days before breaking and the pox had covered her entire body, including the inside of her mouth and throat robbing her of the desire to eat or drink. The fever had left her dehydrated and in desperation, I had had to take her to the ER and admit her so she could get some fluids in her system. She had scared the kids, Jinx, and me to death but she was back to being snarky Mary now – except for being weak as a newborn baby and not eating much. I could see and count the ribs through her clothing and she hadn't yet regained her coloring.

I placed a kiss on the top of Nora's head. "She'll eat for me."

Nora giggled. "She threw the food at you yesterday."

I smiled and gave her a slight nudge towards the living room. "Go find a book – I'll be right out."

Nora rolled her eyes. "Sure thing, Uncle Marshall."

I took the plate of food from the warming oven and set it on the breakfast tray, treading softly as I walked towards her room, knowing that she had more than likely fallen back to sleep. I nudged the door open and froze at the sight in front of me. Mary had fallen back asleep, her hands folded under her cheek, curled up on her side. The sunlight was hitting her hair, lighting it up like a halo and I stood there for a moment just watching her breathe. She was still so pale and now so terribly thin. She hadn't really been eating well since Brandi's death but now with this illness, she'd lost muscle mass too. When she'd been delirious with fever and I was sponging her to keep her body cool, and lifting her into the tub, I'd been shocked with how light she'd been in my arms-

"Marshall, quit standing there like a stalker and come in."

Her voice jolted me out of my reminiscences and I moved into the room. "Your breakfast is served, milady."

She grunted and opened one eye to look up at me. "I told Nora to tell you I'm not hungry."

"And I'm not leaving until you eat something."

"You'll make Nora late for school on her birthday all to see me take a bite of your cooking, Emeril?"

"You have to eat, Mer. I can count your ribs."

The other eye opened. "Have you been checking me out while I've been indisposed? That's just sick-"

I set the tray on the foot of the bed, and placing my hands underneath her armpits, I hauled her up to a sitting position against her headboard.

"What the hell! Marshall?"

I ignored her protests as I settled the breakfast tray in front of her and sat beside her on the bed. "I don't have time to verbally fence with you this morning, Sunshine. I don't want Nora to be later than usual today of all days, and I've got meetings this morning." I stabbed a bite of the French omelet and held it in front of her mouth. "Open up, please."

She turned her head away.

"Do you need me to do the airplane or the choo-choo, like I did when Nora was a baby?"

She crossed her arms and glared at me.

I sighed and set the fork back down on the plate. "I know you're not a child, Mer, and I don't enjoy treating you like one. I know your mouth is raw and your throat hurts but if you don't start eating and drinking the only alternative you leave me with is to take you back to the hospital and have them admit you and put in another IV – is that what you want? Do you want to do that to Nora on her sixth birthday?"

Mary's eyes glistened. "You play dirty, Marshall Mann."

"I learned from the best." I picked up the fork again. "So what's it going to be?"

She sighed and opened her mouth and I tried not to cringe as I saw some of the rawness inside. I fed her the bite and watched her face as she chewed and swallowed.

"Good?"

Her stomach growled and I laughed.

"I'll take that as a yes." I cut another piece and started to lift it when she swatted my hand away and took the fork out of my hand.

"I'm not an invalid – I can feed myself."

I leaned forward and breathed a kiss against her forehead. "That's my girl."

She grabbed the back of my neck, keeping me close and looked into my eyes. "Marshall-"

"What?"

She wet her lips. "Thanks for breakfast."

I felt like that wasn't what she was trying to say, but I was used to Mary and her fears, of her stepping up and looking at something and then backing away when those fears got the best of her. We needed to talk about our living situation, about our relationship, about where we were and what we wanted. But not now. Not while she was still recovering and not on Nora's birthday.

"Anytime."

Her eyes searched mine and for one wild, crazy moment I thought she was going to kiss me. But then her hand dropped from my neck and she leaned back just as Nora ran into the room.

"Mama – you're eating!"

Mary opened her arms and I rescued the breakfast tray before it was scattered across the bedspread.

"Uncle Marshall said he could get you to eat and he did! He DID!" Nora squealed and buried her face in Mary's neck.

"Oh, he did, did he? Pretty sure of himself, isn't he?"

Nora pulled back to look at Mary. "But mama, you and I always listen to Uncle Marshall, right? Because he's smart and knows stuff and he knows you and me and he loves us – and we love him too, right?"

I was biting the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling at Nora's candor – I prayed she would never lose it, that she would always be able to be this upfront with her feelings with the people she loved. My eyes darted to Mary's to see if she would answer her daughter but I saw what I expected to see, that the shutters were once again up around her heart.

"Yes, Uncle Marshall loves you very much, Bug – but I think you need to get to school. You're going to be very late now."

"But mama-"

"She's right, Nora – and we still have to stop and pick up the cupcakes for your class, remember?"

She grabbed my hand. "Let's go – let's go!"

I laughed and allowed her to drag me to the door. "I'll be home for lunch – do you want anything?"

Mary smiled. "A milkshake?"

"Chocolate cherry bliss?"

She shook her head. "Just chocolate. Anything with chunks right now-" she shuddered.

I nodded. "See you around one."

* * *

"How's Mary?"

I looked up over my readers to see Delia hovering the doorway and smiled. "She's better – I actually got her to eat something this morning."

Delia's mouth dropped open. "How? Did you shove it down her throat?"

I chuckled. "No – but I did lay my cards on the table and tell her that returning to the hospital for fluids was the only other option available if she didn't start eating. And we know how much Mary loves hospitals."

"About as much as you do."

"I don't mind them-"

Delia snorted. "Please – you avoid them at all costs – only going if you get shot or if one of the kids is hurt."

"I went when I put my fist through the glass wall of my office."

"Yeah, but only because it was an on the job injury. Come on, admit it, chief, if you'd done that at home, would you have gone or would you have just handled it at home?"

"I plead the fifth."

"Thought so."

"Is there a reason you came in here or did you just come to harass me?"

"Stan's on line two."

I grabbed for the phone. "Geez, Dee! Could you have told me a little sooner? He's a very busy man-"

She shrugged and left, muttering. "He makes you wait, I just thought-"

I tuned her out as I hit the flashing red light for line two. "Hey, Stan! Sorry to keep you waiting."

"No worries, you're a busy man now yourself."

I threw a dark look at Delia's retreating back. "Yeah, well, what can I do for you?"

"Look, I'm calling to give you a heads up – but you didn't hear anything from me, all right?"

"Hang on a minute, let me close the door." I stood and swung the glass door shut and took a deep breath before returning to my desk. "OK, I'm back. So, what's going on?"

"Well, apparently you have a mole in the office-"

I swung my chair around so my back was to the glass. "What? Are you sure?"

"Yes. Someone in your office has been reporting to the bosses about you and your relations between staff, particularly your relations with Mary Shannon."

My heart was beating so loudly that I could barely hear his words. "For what purpose?"

"Look, it was no secret that you were in love with Mary when the two of you were partners and I did everything I could to protect the two of you-"

"Stan! We didn't do anything inappropriate on or off the job! We never comprised ourselves or our witnesses – you know that! Our record speaks for itself."

"Yes, I do know and you're right, your record is above reproach. But you have to know that male-female Marshal Teams are watched more closely than male-male or female-female teams, because of the danger of a romantic attachment forming."

"It's not against the rules, Stan. US Marshals are allowed to marry each other."

"Partners are allowed to marry, yes, but they face intense scrutiny from the brass and flak from their peers."

"All this is a moot point, Stan. I don't understand why I was being watched when I was engaged when you left and shortly afterwards got married. It's true that I've been divorced for the past three months but I assure you, all of my interactions have been nothing but professional in nature."

"What about the events leading up to your divorce – the breaking of the office glass wall? Coming in late and leaving early to take care of Mary's daughter and nephew?"

"That's – I never shirked any of my WitSec duties, Stan."

"Marshall, I'm just calling to give you a heads up, that's all. They might take away your promotion over this-"

"So, what – they'll demote me back to Inspector?"

"I'm sure they wouldn't take that away from you, but there are no guarantees. But I don't think they'd let you both stay in Albuquerque."

"I won't be separated from her, Stan. I'll resign first."

"Marshall, don't do anything rash. You're a fifth generation Marshal – this is your birthright. How do you think Mary would feel if she knew you gave this up for her?"

"I don't know. But I won't let them separate us. It's one thing for Mary to say she doesn't want to be my partner – but to have the choice taken from us? No. I'm so close to having everything I've ever wanted I can taste it."

Stan's sigh came over the wire. "Be careful, Son. I don't want to see you crash and burn."

"Me either."

* * *

Mary and I had been partners and friends for too many years for her not to know something was wrong. Once upon a time she had called it 'room renting' – meaning that she literally had real estate inside my brain because she knew me so well. So of course she knew that something was wrong, but I kept smiling and putting her off, telling her that it had to do with work and that I couldn't share. She wasn't happy or content with my answer and kept pushing, but I pushed back until she yielded with the uneasy grace of a child who hasn't gotten their way. Mary was used to getting her way. I wondered if I was one of the few people in her world who was able to hold my own and not give in to her relentless, probing, interrogating ways.

Once she started to eat, she regained her strength quickly and within forty-eight hours was back at work, though she only made it through the morning before I sent her home – ordered, actually, before she collapsed at her desk. She stuck her tongue out as she stalked to the elevator and I turned away so she wouldn't see how affected I was by her childish gesture. The whole scene had been observed by Delia and Jack – and I wondered which one would be making the report to 'them'. I just couldn't believe it of Delia: sunny, bright, Delia who brought muffins and cookies every week and yes, knew how to shoot but only as a last resort. I didn't want to believe it was Jack – but my inner sense had been pinging about him from the start. Had I been right? Had he taken the job just to observe me?

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of throat clearing and I looked up to see Jack standing in my office doorway. "Can I have a word, sir?"

I motioned to the chair and Jack came inside, letting the door shut behind him. "What is it?"

"I want you to know that I never meant to deceive you or this office."

_So it is you. _"I'm sorry – I'm at a loss to understand you."

Jack winced. "I need you to know that I took this job of my own free will. Ms. Pierce approached me afterwards."

At the name of Allison Pierce, my gut clenched but I managed to keep my face impassive. "I'm still in the dark – Ms. Pierce approached you about what?"

"She wanted me to report to her about what kind of a job you were doing – at first I thought everyone was reporting to her so I thought nothing of it. Then when I found out it was just me and her questions became more personal in nature, I grew uncomfortable."

"What exactly did she want to know?"

Jack cleared his throat. "If you were happy in your marriage, if you and Mary ever went on assignments alone together, if you were still involved in Mary's personal life – things of that nature. Sir, they made me very uncomfortable and I told Ms. Pierce that."

I gave the man a small smile. "And what did she say?"

"She told me that it was necessary to find out if you could separate yourself from your old ties and be an effective chief inspector of this office and that I needed to help her in this inquiry or a formal reprimand would be placed in my file that would make it difficult for me to find employment elsewhere."

"Hmm, yes. I'm familiar with Ms. Pierce's methods. Tell me, Jack. You said you took this job because you wanted it. When did you become an informant-"

Jack held up his hand. "Please, Sir – don't use that term. I feel dirty enough. Ms. Pierce first called me to her office about a year ago, and I've been giving her information ever since. I'm sorry and you have every right to dismiss me. In fact, my transfer papers will be-"

I waved my hand. "I know you didn't mean to get caught up in all this. Are you willing to testify on my behalf if I need you to?"

"As a character witness, you mean? Absolutely, Sir. Your professional conduct is above reproach and I told Ms. Pierce that at our last meeting."

My lips twitched. "And how did she take that?"

Jack shook his head. "Not well – does she have a grudge against you, Sir?"

I smiled. "She never cared for me or Mary very much."

"That explains a lot."

"I just wish I knew what put her on my radar-"

"I believe it was your wife, sorry, your ex-wife."

I started. "Abigail? What does she have to do with all this?"

Jack shook his head. "I don't know – but I did see her name and number on Allison's desk one day and she wasn't happy I saw it. She covered it up pretty fast."

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and told Jack to get back to work, hoping I wasn't making a mistake in letting him stay.

_My ex-wife and Allison Pierce? What the hell is that about?_

Unfortunately the only way to find out was to ask her.

* * *

**Diner near Sunshine Building**

"Thanks for coming."

"Of course, you said it was important."

"Do you know an Allison Pierce?"

Abigail frowned at me across the tabletop of the booth. "I don't think- oh! Severe-looking, hawk faced woman? One of your bosses?"

I nodded.

"I think I talked to her at one of your office picnic get together things about a year ago, maybe? Why?"

"What did you talk about?"

She swallowed a sip of coffee and played with the rim of the cup, all signs of stalling. "This is

all water under the bridge – do we have to talk about it now?"

"Yes, we do, because it's being raked up again and my job is on the line."

Her startled eyes met mine. "Your job? I don't understand how a conversation that happened over a year ago could affect you now-"

"Because something you said put me under surveillance and now Ms. Pierce has gotten the attention of my bosses that I'm not fit to be chief. Worse still, I might have to leave Albuquerque – leave Mary and the kids so if you don't start talking-"

"Oh God, Marshall – I never meant – you have to remember – have to understand that I was doing it for us-"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and counted to ten before whispering. "What did you say?"

"I was hurt, still grieving over the loss of our baby, and you seemed to be paying more attention to Mary and Nora at that picnic than me. So when this nice lady-" she looked up at the sound of my snort. "found me by the picnic tables, alone and crying, we struck up a conversation. I told her all about us and the baby and how wonderful it would be if you could get transferred somewhere else but it would never happen because you would never leave Mary and her brat-"

"Abigail!"

"You wanted to know what I said then and I'm telling you!" she sobbed. "Ms. Pierce was so nice and she listened and said maybe she could do something and she took my name and number but I never heard from her again – and I never even remembered the conversation until now. Oh Marshall, please!" she cried and reached across the tabletop for my hand. "Please tell me I haven't ruined your career – I don't think I could live with myself."

I pressed her hand. "Take a deep breath, Abby."

She spent a few minutes composing herself before whispering, "What are you going to do?"

I shrugged. "I'll think of something."

_I just don't know what._

* * *

_A/N: And the ex-wife strikes again - poor Marshall can't catch a break! Reviews are LOVE._


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: So who's ready for some M&amp;M goodness after all this angst? This is one of my favorite chapters, and we're about halfway through._

* * *

**_Mary's house_**

"'And they lived hap-pea-ily after.'"

Nora and Georgie giggled and Mary rolled her eyes at the syrupy ending as I shut the book. "Bedtime."

"No!" they cried. "Llama Llama!"

I sighed. "We agreed on two stories tonight, remember? And it's late. Come on, into bed now." I swooped Nora into my arms and placed her into the top bunk, making sure the rail was secure, before I stepped aside to let Mary say good night.

I leaned down into the bottom bunk to kiss Georgie's forehead. "Good night, Sport."

He caught my sleeve. "Uncle Mars?" he whispered.

"Yes?"

"I know I can't have mama for my birthday," he sniffled.

I ran a hand through his hair. "No."

"But can I have a daddy?"

"Georgie-" My breath caught in my throat.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and placed a wet kiss on my cheek. "G'night, daddy."

I straightened up, watching as Georgie rolled over, his breathing already heavy with sleep. Mary laid a hand on my arm. "Marshall?"

Shaking out of my daze, I walked out of the room and she followed, shutting the door softly behind her. "Marshall, what is it?"

I stood in the hallway, unable to catch my breath, the emotions thick in my throat. Mary came around to stand in front of me, her hands gripping mine. "George called me daddy."

For a moment, she just stood there, blinking up at me. "Well, it was bound to happen someday, wasn't it? With all the time you've been spending here and-"

I grabbed her upper arms and kissed her hard and fast, releasing her before either of us had time to think about what I'd done. "Don't you see that's what I want, Mer? Don't you understand that after all this time my feelings for you haven't changed?"

She swallowed. "I think you're confusing your love for the children with some long ago affection for me, Marshall."

I shook her. "You're not listening to me. I know I'm scaring you – I know that talking about feelings frightens you more than bullets, more than the thought of dying, but you don't have to be afraid. You know me and after a decade of partnership, I'd like to think I know you better than most-"

She nodded. "You do – no one knows me as well as you do."

"Then you know what I'm saying is the truth – I can't lie to you any more than I can lie to Nora. Where do you think she inherited that trait from? Don't be afraid of this, Mary. Don't be afraid of us. Yes, I love Nora and Georgie like they were my own but you have to know that I'd still be here with you if they didn't exist. They aren't the only reason I'm here and they aren't the only reason I stay. I loved you before either of them existed-"

"Stop. Please stop talking, Marshall." She shrugged out of my hold, backing away down the hall toward the living room. I let her go, giving both of us a few minutes to catch our breaths, and regain some emotional footing.

When I entered the living room, I found her curled up on the couch under a throw with Oscar at her feet. The mutt looked up at me reproachfully as I sat down on the other end but I made no move or sound to kick him off – yet.

"So all this time I've been right," she whispered, not letting her eyes meet mine.

"About what?"

"I broke up your marriage."

I shook my head. "No, I broke up my marriage. I was the one who had feelings for another woman, who refused to acknowledge those feelings and deal with them before my marriage, and ended up hurting two women I loved."

She shuddered. "I feel like I should have a scarlet letter on my chest."

I shoved Oscar to the floor despite his howl of protest and sat next to her. "You did nothing wrong- you did everything I asked of you, Mer. You released me – I was the one who couldn't let you go. I should never have married Abigail. Unfortunately, this is a truth that I learned in hindsight."

"I never liked her."

I grunted. "Now you tell me."

"You would have thought I was jealous if I told you before."

"Weren't you?"

The air was charged around us and she finally raised her eyes to mine. "The kids can't lose you – Georgie can't lose another parent, not now."

I cupped her face, gently tracing her cheekbones with my thumbs. "He won't. Nora won't. You won't."

She started under my touch. "I didn't say anything about me-"

"Didn't you?"

She bit her lip. "There's something you're not telling me, Marshall. Something that's been bothering you since Nora's birthday. You went off to the office happy that I finally ate something and when you came home that night you were quiet and distant, tense and underneath it all, angry. Tell me."

I dropped my hands and sat back. "Allison Pierce has had me under surveillance for the past year."

Mary's eyes snapped. "What the fuck? Why?"

I rubbed a hand wearily across my forehead. "She had Jack report to her about my professional conduct – specifically between you and me, and how it was affecting the office."

"Jack? He's a plant?"

I shook my head. "No, he applied for the job because he wanted it – Allison only approached him a year ago, so he's been working here for two years without incident. And he feels terrible about the whole thing, honestly. He came and talked to me today, man to man."

Mary grunted. "But why would Allison even bother? Oh God, you don't think she wants the job, do you? Because I'll transfer if she comes here."

I swallowed heavily as I thought of our beloved office being run by that bitch. This wasn't a thought that had occurred to me but it made sense – why else would Allison do this? Could she really hate Mary and me that much to destroy our careers?

"You have to leave."

I blinked, clearing away my thoughts. "What?"

"You can't stay here anymore. You have to go back to your apartment and you can't be here so much – we have to maintain a level of -"

I grabbed her hands. "Mary, the damage has been done. I wouldn't know about any of this if Stan hadn't called to give me the heads up and Jack hadn't come to me and confessed the part he played."

"And this is supposed to make me feel better? Marshall, she could ruin you for this-"

"I know – but I don't care. I have friends in high places who have my back and as long as I have you and the kids-"

She leapt to her feet and stared at me. "Are you out of your fucking mind? You don't care? You're a fifth generation Marshal – this is all you've ever wanted and you're just going to throw it all away because some bitch in high heels-"

I stood, captured her face in my hands and fused our lips together. This time it wasn't quick, because if it was going to be the only time she let me kiss her I wanted it to last and I wanted to enjoy the feel of her lips against mine. When I drew back, I rested my forehead against hers, and I smiled as her arms wrapped around my neck. "No, I don't care. I can get another job. What I can't get is another you, Nora, or Georgie."

She moaned and buried her face in my neck.

"I really don't want to pressure you, Mary. You can take all the time you need to figure out what you want and if you still only care for me as a friend and partner-"

She lifted her head to glare at me for a long moment and I grinned.

"Well, yeah, I was hoping things had changed, but you know that I don't ever assume where Mary Shannon is concerned."

"That's because you're a smart ass, not a dumb ass."

My grin widened and I picked her up in my arms, sitting back down on the couch. She smothered a yawn against my shoulder. "I think its bedtime for you too, love."

She slapped my shoulder. "Don't start with the pet names, already."

"Yes, dear."

"I mean it!" she growled. "It was bad enough when I was sick-"

"You heard me?" I interrupted.

She propped her head on her hand and looked into my eyes. "Yes. Most of it is blurry and comes and goes in bits and pieces like a dream but I remember you cooing and whispering all kinds of pet names and kissing me and washing-" she gasped and sat up. "Did you bathe me? Did you see me naked?"

I had the graced to blush. "You had your underwear on, just like the time you had hypothermia, remember?"

She groaned and her face hit my chest. "And my skin was covered with red dots! Ugh! I must have been so gross!"

I reached out and lifted her face until her eyes met mine. "All I saw was your eyes – and you were beautiful." I dropped a light kiss on her lips.

She grinned. "Liar."

* * *

A week passed and nothing happened. Life returned to normal as Mary regained her strength and came back to work full time and slowly took her witnesses back. The three of us had split them up and I found that I missed the routine of checking in, doing threat assessments, and other mundane paperwork. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to go back to being an Inspector – I definitely missed the interaction with the witnesses since that was the primary reason I had joined WitSec.

And then the call came. Allison Pierce phoned herself, saying that she and the other bosses wanted to see me the following day in New York City – and it wasn't a request. I hung up the phone and told Delia to order lunch in and then called an emergency staff meeting. It was time to rally the troops and get everyone on the same page, though there was really only one of us who was completely in the dark.

Mary had been tense and distant not only at work but at home the past week. I had been expecting it after our emotional conversation so I didn't let it get under my skin. It was all part of knowing Mary. If you were ever lucky enough to get close and have an emotional connection with her, don't be fooled that you'd won the war! I knew that the walls would be back up the next day, doubly fortified and barricaded and I was right. A small part of me smarted but when I looked in her eyes and saw the fear I was encouraged. Knowing that she was scared gave me hope. If she didn't have feelings for me, she would simply be cold and distant and her eyes would not reveal an inner struggle. The fact that I could see she was struggling with her emotions, even though to everyone else she appeared to be the same old Mary, gave me great hope for us.

I waited until my team had dished up heaping plates of Chinese and taken seats around the table before speaking.

"I've been summoned to a meeting in New York City and I'll need Mary and Delia to hold down the fort here as I assume you, Jack-" I looked at the man and he gave a slight nod. "will be accompanying me as well."

At those words, Mary stiffened in her seat and pushed her food around on her plate. "How long will you two be gone?"

"Jack should only be gone for a day or two at the most. It's uncertain how long I'll be gone – but I'll be in touch so you'll be the first to know, after me, of course."

Mary nodded, still refusing to meet my eyes while Delia looked around at all of us and frowned. "What's going on? Why do I get the feeling that I'm missing something?"

Mary snorted. "Because you are."

"Mary!" I hissed, before sighing. "I called this meeting because unlike some of my predecessors, I believe in full disclosure whenever possible. Delia, for the past year, I have been under surveillance."

"But why?"

"I'm not sure. All I know is that-" I glanced again at Jack and he nodded. "Ms. Pierce employed Jack to report about my professional conduct, specifically between myself and Mary and he has done so-"

"Why would you do this? Our boss has done nothing wrong! Don't you understand that he could lose his job over this! You miserable-" Delia picked up the platter of egg foo yung and I leaned across to grab her wrist just in time to prevent it from flying.

"Dee! Stop it! That's not going to solve anything. Jack was only doing his job- he thought everyone was reporting to Allison and when the nature of the report became too personal, he tried to stop."

"Hmf, but he didn't, did he? Oh Chief, what's going to happen?"

"I don't know. But Stan will be there, and I know Jack will speak up on my behalf, which will be a surprise to Ms. Pierce. Try not to worry, everything will work out."

Delia stormed out glaring daggers at Jack on the way.

"I feel as if I should apologize to you too, Mary."

Mary turned and stared at Jack for a long time. "Why didn't you stop when it became personal?"

Jack flushed. "She knew that I was in love with your sister."

"Brandi?" Mary gasped.

Jack nodded. "Brandi and I had dated for several months – it was more serious on my part than hers and since we worked together she didn't want you to know about us. Ms. Pierce threatened to tell you if I backed out. And then after Brandi's death – I was in too deep. I didn't see a way out."

Mary and I exchanged a long look before she looked at Jack. "I forgive you."

"Thank you, Mary. I'll see you at the airport at five, Sir. And I will do everything I can."

"I know that, Jack."

Mary waited until the door closed behind him before she swung her chair in my direction. "Brandi and Jack? What on earth did she see in him?"

I chuckled. "No idea – maybe he's good in bed."

"Marshall!" she laughed and I grinned, glad to hear the sound.

* * *

"We need to talk."

I glanced up from packing my go bag. Nora and Georgie were watching cartoons – I had yet to break the news to them and I wasn't looking forward to it. "I agree. How do you think I should tell them? Straight to the point or-"

"Not about the kids – about us."

I sighed. I'd been trying to talk to her all week and the walls she'd erected had been impenetrable. "Do you really think now's a good time? I have to leave for the airport in fifteen minutes. I still need to talk to the kids, tell them I'm leaving, leave time for comfort and kisses and-"

"I know my timing sucks but you need to know something before you go."

The tone of her voice made my blood run cold. "All right."

"If they give you a choice – if it's your job or Albuquerque and us-"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"You don't know what I'm going to say."

I threw a shirt in the bag. "The hell I don't! You're trying to be noble and tell me not to be an idiot and throw my career away for you and the kids."

"Damn straight!"

I zipped the bag shut. "And you still don't get it. You and the kids are all I want." I stepped around the bed but she blocked my path to the door.

"Yeah, today, but what about tomorrow? Or the next day? Or next year? Or three years from now? Marshall, it took you three years to realize that your marriage to Abigail wasn't what you wanted. How long is it going to take you to realize that giving up your lifelong dream of being a US Marshal was a mistake – that you gave it up for what? A broken woman who doesn't know how to love and two children who aren't yours?"

I swept my bag off the bed and threw her down on it, covering her body with mine. "Stop it, Mer! Do you think I don't know what you're doing? Do you think I don't know that you're picking a fight with me minutes before I walk out the door to go into a firing squad in the hopes that I'll go in there and fall on my sword instead? Do you think I don't know that you're terrified that I'm making you feel things you've never felt in your entire life? Get used to it, sweetheart. You, me, Nora, Georgie: that's what I want. You're not going to shake me from it so stop trying and figure out what it is you want."

Her hands gripped my shoulders. "The Mary Shannons of the world don't get what they want."

My heart broke a little for the woman-girl under me. For all the cards that life had dealt her, for this sad truth that had been proven over and over again. No more.

Leaning down, I breathed into her ear, "My Mary can have whatever she wants."

She wrapped a hand around the back of my neck and surged up to meet my mouth, opening hers wide to let my tongue inside. I felt her shudder underneath me. This was the first time since that night so long ago that our bodies were in full contact while kissing and I felt every synapsis, every nerve cell firing, and I rolled to the side, pulling her into me.

"Why are you leaving this afternoon?" she gasped when we pulled apart for air.

"What?" I gasped back, still trying to form coherent thoughts after that experience.

"Why aren't you catching a redeye?"

I swallowed, thinking of how to frame a reply that wouldn't get me smacked. "Well, since I don't have an apartment anymore-"

"What?" Mary startled in my arms. "Why not?"

"Mrs. Thompkins needed it for her son – and since I was hardly using it, I didn't think I could say no. It's her son, Mer."

"OK, well, what's wrong with staying here, then? You're always here."

I nodded. "But now that Allison's called – and you've been so distant this week – I thought things would just be easier if I spent the night in New York."

"Hmm." Mary frowned. "But you could eat with us, and tuck the kids in, and then we could-"

"Mary! We are not having-"

"Shh!" she placed a hand over my mouth and glanced over my shoulder at the closed door. "Of course not, I was just thinking we could share my bed tonight for a change."

I removed her hand and kissed her. "And you really think we can behave ourselves?"

She shrugged and smiled at me. "I don't know – what do you want to do?"

I grinned as she threw my own words back at me. "I'll call and get a new reservation if you call and tell Jack I'm not coming now."

She kissed me briefly before jumping up to find her cell phone.

Sleep was overrated. I would just drink a gallon of coffee and then I'd be fine. I squashed the inner voice that said I should have a good night's sleep before facing tomorrow's events. Spending a night finally wrapped in Mary's arms because she wanted me there and not because of hypothermia or for comfort would be worth the exhaustion.

* * *

_A/N: What's going to happen to our Marshall? Drop me some LOVE in reviews! and stay tuned. . . ._


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: Enjoy the sweetness of M&amp;M before Marshall heads to NYC for his meeting. _

* * *

"This is NOT what I had in mind when I said we could share my bed tonight."

I chuckled as Mary's sleepy voice tickled my ear as she spooned me from behind. "What? You didn't envision us in bed together, surrounded by two children and a dog?"

She grunted and tried to shift but the warm body of Nora snuggling her from behind prevented her from moving very much. "I didn't plan on a slumber party, Doofus."

I turned my head and brushed my lips across her forehead, ignoring that even this slight movement caused Georgie to whimper and his grip on my wife beater to tighten. "Daddy," he moaned.

"Shh, Sport," I soothed, running a hand up and down his back. "Go back to sleep, I'm here."

Georgie's face relaxed and his breathing evened out again.

Mary propped her chin on my shoulder and sighed. "He's going to be a mess from the moment you leave until the moment you step back in the front door. Are you sure you can't take him with you?"

I shifted slightly so I could look at her without getting a crink in my neck. "I would if I could, but I don't think the bosses will be providing child care during these meetings. He'll be OK, Mer, and I'll call him as often as I can to check in."

"So, Georgie is the only one you'll talk to?"

I grinned. "Of course not- I'll talk to Nora too."

She slapped my shoulder. "You're going to make me say the words, aren't you?"

"Do you want me to call you, Mary?"

"Marshall!" she growled under her breath. "I need to know what's going on-"

I shook my head. "That's not what I'm talking about. Do you want me to call you when the kids are asleep – because neither one of us will be able to sleep without hearing each other's voice."

Her breath hitched. "Marshall-"

"Yes?"

She leaned down and gently touched her lips to mine and I was lost. I forgot about the fact that we were in her bed surrounded by children and that we could go no further. All I could focus on was the fact that she had initiated another kiss and the feel of her skin against mine.

I was brought back to reality when one of us kicked Oscar and he let out a sharp bark, which caused Nora to whimper. Mary pulled away and turned to her daughter, soothing her back to sleep and I lay panting on the pillow, thinking how close I had come to losing control and ravishing her right there.

"What's wrong?"

I levelled a serious look at her. "You're dangerous – one kiss from you has my engine running and I forget all my good intentions of keeping my hands to myself and you know that we can't start anything now. Not with a bed full of children and a dog and the fact that I have to leave in half an hour – because what I want to do would definitely take more than thirty minutes."

Mary shivered and moved closer to me, but I lifted my hands and grasped her shoulders.

"No, keep your distance, love. My engine's still idling and if you touch me now, I'll-"

She arched an eyebrow. "You'll what?"

"Someday you'll find out, I promise you that."

Ignoring my words and my restraining hands, Mary pushed past them to my lips. I groaned and returned her fire for as long as I dared before I pulled away and wrapped my arms around her tight and she rested her head on my chest.

"I love you," I breathed the words against the top of her head. As soon as they were out of my mouth, I felt her stiffen against me and try to break free but I tightened my hold. "No, Mary, don't run. Listen to me. I didn't say them expecting you to say them back to me – to be here with you like this, kissing you, holding you – it's more than I ever dared to hope for. I know you're scared – of what you're feeling, of how this will affect you and me and most of all the kids-"

She nodded against my chest. "It's not just you and me anymore, Marshall. I couldn't bear to fuck this up for them – they need you more than I do."

I shook my head. "No, they don't. You need me just as much as they do – just in a very different way. You and I are two halves that make a whole – yin and yang, if you will. We're not complete without each other."

She snorted. "We fight almost every day-'

I chuckled. "Mer, fighting is your main form of communication. You're fiery and passionate and yes, a bit prickly around the edges. But any man who doesn't know how to stand up for himself and how to return fire with you isn't worth your time."

She began to trace a pattern on top of my undershirt. "You don't get tired of fighting with me?"

"Only when you're locking me or the kids out for no damn good reason- that has to stop, Mer. All we're trying to do is love you."

"But that's what I was trying to tell you earlier – I'm a broken woman that doesn't know how to love."

I raised her chin so her eyes met mine. "That's bull shit and you know it. You love Nora and Georgie fiercely – and I know you loved Brandi and you miss her every day."

She shook her head. "But that's different – I don't think I can – I don't know how – I mean – I never wanted to love a man before."

I knew how hard it was for her to make that confession and so I waited for several heartbeats before asking the next question even though I desperately wanted to know the answer immediately.

"And now? Do you want - to love a man now?"

She shook her head and my heart plummeted. I felt like all the progress we'd made in the past couple of days had been for naught. Maybe she had just been using me – releasing some of her sexual tension since it had been years since she'd gotten any. Hurt, I began to pull away but her hands on my chest stopped me and the look in her eyes made me feel like I couldn't breathe until she spoke her piece.

"Not just any man, Marshall. I only want to try if it's you."

* * *

**New York City**

I was still floating on air when I arrived outside the conference room where my fate would be decided. Stan was pacing, but looked up at the sound of my boot heels on the tile floor.

"You're late."

I looked at my wristwatch. "The meeting doesn't start for another ten minutes."

"You were supposed to get here last night – what kept you?"

"Something came up – geez, Dad, I didn't know I was going to be checked in. Are things really that bad?"

Stan shrugged. "I've been on the phone ever since you called me, pulling in favors – let's just hope someone comes through."

"Is Jack here?"

Stan jerked his head towards the closed doors. "He's been in there with Allison for a while now – do you really trust him?"

I nodded. "He didn't have to tell me anything – but he came and told me on his own about his involvement knowing that it could cost him his job. I trust him, Stan."

"Maybe Allison's promised him something better."

I frowned. "The only thing she promised was a written reprimand and a boot out the door if he didn't cooperate."

Stan whistled. "Jack wasn't wearing a wire when she said that, by chance?"

I shook my head. "No, so it's his word against hers."

"Great – you know as well as I do how difficult those cases are to prove."

One of the massive doors swung open and a pert nosed girl stuck her face out. "Ms. Pierce will see you now, Mr. Mann."

"Chief Inspector Mann," Stan growled.

The girl smiled. "Of course."

I nodded and both of us stepped forward but the girl held up her hand. "Just the Chief Inspector, please."

"I'm here at the Chief's request."

"That may be, but Ms. Pierce only wants to see Mr. Mann."

I turned to Stan. "I'll be fine – I'll text you if things get squirrely."

Stan grunted. "I'll wait here for my reinforcements, then."

I nodded and followed the girl inside, trying not to cringe as the door swung shut with a bang behind us. Allison looked up from one end of the conference table and smiled, looking even more like a wolf than the last time I saw her. Jack was seated to her left and I nodded a greeting to him as I approached the table.

"Good morning, Marshall. Can my assistant get you anything? Coffee or a Danish, perhaps?"

I smiled tightly. "No, thank you. I'd like to move things along, if you don't mind."

"Do you have someplace to be?"

I clenched my jaw and counted to ten before answering. "While I left the office in capable hands, I do need to return to business as soon as possible. The Albuquerque office has seen an increase in witnesses over the past year, as you can see." I nodded to the file open in front of her.

Allison had the grace to blush as she snapped the file shut. "Yes, I can see that – why is that, I wonder?"

"I think there are two very good reasons." I unbuttoned my suit jacket and sat down in the chair to her right. "One, is the closing of the Denver office that took place six months ago. Witnesses now have one less location in the Western US – and it would be a shame to close another office." I shared a smile with Jack. "And two, I have an excellent team of inspectors – I think that word of mouth has spread and when the FBI and CIA need to place people in the program, we are at the top of the list. I have good people who honestly care about their witnesses and that news has gotten out."

Allison cleared her throat. "Yes, well, we're not here to talk about your people OR the fact that Albuquerque has seen a boom in the number of witnesses placed in the program. We're here to talk about you."

"I assumed as much."

One of Allison's pencil thin eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Yes. Jack came to me over a week ago and told me of his surveillance work on your behalf – but what I don't understand is if you had questions about my professional conduct, why didn't you just come to the source? Why didn't you just ask me?"

Allison cleared her throat. "That's not the way these things work, Marshall. When we are running a performance review-"

"That's all this was? A performance review?"

"Of course. Why would you think it was anything else?"

I crossed my arms. "Then why all the cloak and dagger? Performance reviews are clearly announced and given out at the same time every year. Mine isn't due for another two months – it coincides with the anniversary of my promotion." I shook my head. "Forgive me, Ms. Pierce, but I can't help thinking that something else is happening here. Why am I being called up on the carpet now, nearly three years after I've taken over this office?"

Allison sniffed. "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to-"

Stan opened the door. "I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"Actually, Mr. McQueen, you are."

"Oh, well, I just wanted to let you know that Marshall's reinforcement has arrived and will be here any minute."

"Reinforcement?" Allison repeated the word. "Really, Stan, I don't think-"

"I'll take it from here, Stanley. Thank you," Eleanor nodded at him as she swept into the room, setting her attaché case on the end of the conference table. "You're done here, Ms. Pierce."

"I beg your pardon!"

I shot an astonished look at Stan who was still standing in the open doorway, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I'm afraid I don't understand either," I murmured.

Jack grinned. "Hello, Ms. Prince."

She gave him a brief nod. "Good to see you, Jack. Thank you for calling me last night – if it weren't for yours and Stanley's persistence, I might have missed this tete a tete and that would have been a shame."

"I don't see what right you have to tell me-" Allison was blustering.

Eleanor turned back to the hawk-faced woman. "I believe your boss is Mr. Micah Jones, correct?"

Allison blanched. "Yes, how did you know that?"

"Because he works for me – I am his boss."

"I don't believe you."

"Call him – but take your files and things with you, because you'll be going to a meeting to answer his questions next, not coming back here."

Allison gathered up her papers and left in huff, her assistant fluttering after her. Eleanor took a deep breath and sat down in the vacated chair. "Much better, don't you think? Most unpleasant woman."

"Eleanor?" I whispered. "Can you tell me what just happened?"

She reached across the table top and squeezed my hand. "Soon – have you had breakfast?"

I shook my head. "I couldn't-"

She nodded. "Understandable." She picked up the phone and punched an extension. "Ava? Coffee and assorted pastries for four in the conference room on six ASAP."

Hanging up the phone, she motioned Stan into the room. "Quit hovering and sit down. You might as well hear this first hand and not have Marshall repeat it later."

Stan laughed. "I thought you'd never ask."

"Just keep an eye out for our breakfast."

* * *

After my third cup of coffee, my head was beginning to clear. "Wait – so Jack came to you after Allison recruited him for her surveillance mission?"

Eleanor nodded and popped a bite of croissant into her mouth.

"Why?"

Jack glanced at her and she gave him a brief nod. "She's my aunt – her late husband was my mom's brother. And I knew she had all these contacts in the government, so if anyone could help me, it was her. But I had no idea she'd ask me to be a double spy."

Stan chuckled. "So you were reporting to Allison and your Aunt Eleanor?"

Jack nodded. "And keeping the whole operation from the Chief. Sir, I'm so sorry-"

I waved my hand and reached for a cheese Danish. "Hey, you were caught between those two women, not to mention Brandi-"

"Brandi!" Eleanor gasped. "What does she have to do with any of this?"

I shot an apologetic look at Jack, who shrugged. "I was in love with her."

"Oh, my boy," Eleanor reached out and grasped his hands. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know her very well at all, but she seemed like a sweet girl."

"She was," Jack and I spoke as one and we shared a smile.

Stan cleared his throat. "So when Jack came to you, Eleanor, what did you do?"

"Well, I told him to feed her the bits of info she wanted but to be very careful. I didn't know what her ultimate goal was, but I intended to find out." She shook her head. "I never planned for any of you to find out that I am high up in the US Marshal Service and not a secretary or office assistant."

"So when you were in Albuquerque – all those contacts-" I smiled. "Those weren't your husband's – they were yours."

Eleanor sighed. "Some of them were John's – he really had been an agent. But no, most of them were mine."

"So Mary was right – you were a plant."

"Marshall!" Stan gasped.

Eleanor laughed. "No, I wasn't. I became an office assistant for a year to see if I still had the heart to stay in the Marshal Service after John's death – and I got so much more from that year than I ever thought I would." She shared a look with Stan and blushed. "I found the passion for my job again, among other things."

"Hmm," Marshall hummed, knowing he had been right about his boss and Eleanor. "So what happens now, to me and the Albuquerque office?"

"Nothing. You go home and back to business as usual."

"So that's it? I don't get to know why Allison did all this?"

Eleanor brushed the buttery crumbs from her fingers. "Allison wanted to close down the Albuquerque branch – show that you were incompetent and unprofessional in your work and the only way she could think of doing that was through your association with Mary and her family. She's always been your Achilles' heel."

"You're wrong, Eleanor. Mary is now and has always been my strength."

Eleanor smiled. "Are you going to do something about that, Marshall?"

I grinned. "Wait and see. But that's crazy – about shutting down the Albuquerque branch, I mean. With the Denver office closed, we're seeing double the foot traffic now. If our office closed as well – that would just leave San Francisco-"

"And guess who's up for promotion in the San Francisco office? Benjamin Pierce."

Stan snapped his fingers. "Allison's nephew."

I leaned back in my chair and whistled. "So it all comes back to family."

Eleanor's right eyebrow arched. "Doesn't it always?"

* * *

"Can I have a minute?"

Eleanor looked up from packing her attaché case. "Walk me out. My flight to DC leaves in an hour and traffic this time of day is murder."

I took her case and she smiled as she scrolled through messages on her phone.

"Nothing that can't wait – now, what's up?"

"What if I told you I wanted to go back to being an Inspector?"

Eleanor paused in mid-step before resuming her stride. "Is this because of Mary?"

"Partly – but mostly I just miss the witnesses. I don't know that I'm cut out to being a pencil pusher and attend all these meetings."

"You know who you sound like? Stanley." She smiled as she pushed the button for the elevator. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Have you asked Mary to marry you?"

"Not yet."

"But you're going to."

"When she's ready, yes."

"Hmm, that could take a while."

"I've waited over a decade for her kisses – I can wait awhile longer for her hand."

Eleanor sighed. "I've forgotten what a patient man you are, Marshall. You know it's not against the rules for partners to be married but you will be heavily monitored and scrutinized by your bosses, maybe even separated in the field for a bit. Can you handle this?"

"We've handled worse."

She shrugged. "So what exactly are you asking me for – my blessing? Because I already think you're crazy for loving that-"

"Ah- that's my future wife you're talking about."

"Hmm, yes. So, what are you asking me?"

"I guess I'm asking you to pull some strings and make sure that neither Allison Pierce nor any of her relations become our new boss."

Eleanor looked at me for a long moment before she threw her head back and laughed. "I'll do my best."

* * *

_A/N: All right, be honest now - did any of you guess that Eleanor would come in and save the day? I just couldn't resist - I LOVE her and was so bummed that she was only on for 1 season. Perhaps someday I'll write an Eleanor focused fic . . . what's next for our couple? Stay tuned - Reviews are L-O-V-E!_


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: I'm so glad that everyone loves Eleanor as much as I do - she'll be back later, for another brief cameo. Now for this chapter - if you're as confused as Marshall at the beginning - don't worry, it will all become clear soon._

* * *

**New York General Hospital**

**3 days later**

I moaned and my eyes fluttered open – at least, I thought I opened my eyes. Instead of seeing where I was, my eyelashes blinked against cloth and I groaned again as the pounding in my head increased. I lifted a hand and felt the tape, the wrappings around my head, and the IV that was attached to my arm. I cleared my throat and tried not to panic – I could smell the antiseptic in the air around me and hear the beeping of the machine monitoring my heartbeat and oxygen level, so I assumed I was in a hospital but I had no recollection of what happened or how I had ended up here.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

My hand groped the air, hoping by some miracle to find my call button, but instead my fingers were grasped by a pair of hands and the scent of Mary assaulted me before she spoke. "Hush, Marshall. I'm here. I've pushed the call button and your doctor should be here in a minute-"

I squeezed her hands. "Damn it, Mer! Where's here? What happened? Why can't I see?"

"Shh!" One of her hands ran through my hair. "What's the last thing you remember?"

I frowned, the effort of thinking causing my headache to worsen. "I – I remember our slumber party and then leaving for New York-" I paused.

"Anything after that?"

Pictures floated in my head: Stan, Allison and Jack and – Eleanor? Was that right? Had she really come into the meeting at the eleventh hour and saved my butt?

"Marshall?" Mary was calling my name. "What is it?"

"I think I remember most of the meeting – did I call you when it was over?"

I heard her sigh. "Yes, all you said was that everything was fine and you were on your way home."

"So how did I end up here – and where the hell is here?"

"Marshall, that was three days ago-"

"What?" I jerked away from her. "What the fuck is-"

She cupped my face in her hands and I could feel the heat of her gaze even through the bandages. "Shut up and listen if you want an explanation before the doctor comes and I get kicked out, all right?"

I nodded.

"You're in New York General Hospital – the cops brought you here after some good Samaritans found you stuffed behind a dumpster on the subway platform. Someone the NYPD has dubbed the 'Subway Slugger' hit you upside the head and mugged you-"

"Mr. Mann, it's good to see you're finally awake."

I felt Mary's hands leave my face and I silently missed their touch as I turned in the direction of the voice. "Yeah, well, I'd like to see anything right now. I take it you're my doctor?"

"Yes, I'm Dr. Samuelson. Do you have a headache?"

I grunted. "It feels like one of those windup monkey toys with the cymbals is going crazy in there."

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain?"

"Eight," I winced.

"Hmm, I'd like to examine you before I give you something for the pain and you should really stay awake for a bit-"

"No, I don't want any pain killers- just Tylenol."

There was a pause before Dr. Samuelson said, "We can get you some of that right now, but later you'll want something stronger."

"No, thank you, I'll be fine."

I heard a pen scribble on paper, and I knew he was making a note on my chart. "Well, let's see about removing those bandages so I can look at your eyes."

"Why are my eyes covered?"

There was a longer pause this time, in which I assumed Mary and the doctor were exchanging looks.

"Damn it, just tell me what happened, all right? I can't remember anything after leaving my business meeting. I have a vague impression that I called Mary and then – nothing. So what happened?"

"Mr. Mann, I don't know exactly what happened to you, but I'll tell you what I do know, of course. You were brought to this hospital two days ago as a John Doe, with a severe head wound that had gone untreated for more than twenty-four hours. You had bleeding and swelling in your brain, right next to your optic nerve. Your eyes were swollen shut and full of blood. Once in surgery, I was able to drain the blood which reduced some of the swelling but as a precaution, I wrapped your eyes to allow them extra time to heal. Your optic nerve swelling is going down, but slowly, so I don't want you to be alarmed if you still are experiencing blurred or even double vision when I remove the bandages."

I lay there, stunned. My life had finally started to sort itself out and then in the blink of an eye, some unknown assailant had nearly taken it all away. I felt the moisture building and I blinked rapidly, knowing it would itch like crazy if I gave into my emotions now.

"Marshall?" I heard Mary's voice come to me as if far away. "Are you all right?"

"Take them off."

"Mr. Mann, this is a lot of information to absorb all at once-"

"Take – them – off – now."

I wanted to rip the bandages off myself but I gritted my teeth and waited while one of them used the remote and lifted me to a sitting position.

"Hold very still now, Mr. Mann," Dr. Samuelson instructed, and then I felt the wrappings fall away and I was blinking in the blinding light of the room, trying to bring something, anything into focus.

"Marshall?" Mary stepped up to the bed. "Can you-"

I lifted a hand to her face. "Yes, I see you – you're blurry and there are two of you – but I see you, Mer."

"All right, Mr. Mann," Dr. Samuelson cleared his throat. "Look at me, please." He took out a pen light and shone it back and forth between my eyes, watching the reaction of my pupils. He grunted after a minute. "Slow, but they are reacting to the light. I'm tempted to put the wrapping back on-"

"No!"

He sighed. "Fine, but I'm going to bring in some dark glasses and expect you to wear them whenever you're awake, understand?"

I nodded. "When can I go home?"

Dr. Samuelson looked at me in amazement. "Do you understand how close you came to dying, young man? If that family had found you a few hours later, you wouldn't be here – you'd be in the morgue. You'll go home when I say you're ready and not before." He grabbed my chart and left.

"Well, he's a bit of a tyrant, isn't he?" I muttered as I turned back in time to see Mary studying me from the end of the bed. "And what about you? You were no help – usually you're the first to tell the doctors to back off."

She shook her head. "Not this time."

"What's different about this time?"

"Because he's right."

"That hasn't stopped you before – the doctors are usually right but Mary Shannon always knows best-"

In two strides she was back by my side, bending down to press her lips to mine, her hands resting lightly on my shoulders. I sighed and tugged on her hips until she was sitting on the bed next to me as our lips continued to nip and sip from each other. When she pulled back, I captured her face in my hands, trying hard to focus on her face and not my pounding headache. "What is it?"

"You came so close, Marshall – and it wasn't business and it wasn't a bullet and I wasn't there and-"

"Hush-" I whispered the word against her lips. "I'm still here."

She shivered under my touch. "You told me before you left that I needed to figure out what it was I wanted and it wasn't until you didn't call and you didn't come home that I knew. I knew what I wanted and I was afraid – I was afraid it was too late."

"Never," I grinned and waited until she offered me a shy one in return. "Tell me – tell me what you want."

She ducked her head. "I can't look at you when I say this."

"OK."

Her voice was a whisper into her chest and I had to duck my head to catch the words. "I wanted you to come home."

I frowned. "Where else would I go? I told you I'm homeless and- oh." Understanding suddenly flooded me and I knew I was grinning like an idiot. "You want me to come home to you and the kids."

She nodded.

"But I already do that."

She groaned and placed one hand on my chest, as if bracing herself to say the difficult words. "You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"I'm not going to pressure you into saying anything you're not ready for, Mer. I hope you know me better than that. I was just pointing out the fact that we've essentially been living together since Brandi-" I cleared my throat. "Are you saying you want more?"

Her fingers wrapped around my hospital gown as she nodded.

I cleared my throat. "How much more?"

Again her words were so low and soft that I had to lean forward to catch them. "I want slumber parties with you that don't involve children and dogs – I want to feel your breath in my hair, your skin against mine-"

"God, Mary." I groaned as I ducked my head and captured her lips in a soul searching kiss. I never dreamed I would hear those words from her. I had given up hope long ago that she would ever return my love. "You've got to stop talking like this when I can't do anything about it. We're in a hospital! I can't just rip your clothes off and start making mad-"

"Knock, knock!"

We jerked apart to see a perky nurse walking into the room. "I've brought you some Tylenol for your headache and Dr. Samuelson ordered some dark glasses for you, Mr. Mann. He said you're to wear them-"

I held out my hand. "Yes, I know. Thank you." I slipped on the dark pair of glasses and dry swallowed the pills. "Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it's time for your friend to go."

"She's not just my friend – Mary is my fiancée."

The nurse frowned as Mary looked at me in astonishment. "She never mentioned that-"

"Yes, well, it's a recent development."

"All right, she can stay for a little longer then – but no hanky panky!" The nurse held up a warning finger as she turned and left.

"Marshall! What the fuck-" Mary blustered as I reached out and snagged her by the wrist, pulling her back onto the bed with me.

"Don't you want to marry me?"

"That's – that is not the point. What about the kids?"

"It's the kids I'm thinking about, Mary. I'm not going to live in sin with you – what kind of example does that set for them? Not to mention the extra grist for the rumor mill. I don't want to give more for people to talk about, do you?"

She lifted her hands to my shoulders. "So that's the only reason you want to marry me?"

"I love you madly – past the point where I can think straight, you know that. We've had a decade of friendship and partnership and we haven't killed each other and if that isn't a dry run for marriage, I don't know what is."

Mary laughed. "You seem to have this all figured out."

"And yet you still have your doubts."

"Not doubts, exactly."

"Fears, then."

She nodded. "I – I haven't said those three little words to you-"

I looked at her in amazement. "Is that what you're worried about? Mary, I know you love me. What you said to me before we were so rudely interrupted by that nurse – if that wasn't a declaration of love, well-" I shrugged.

She bit her lip. "I can't have any more children."

"Do you want more children?"

"Don't you?"

I held up a hand. "Back up a minute, I think we're getting our wires crossed. What makes you think I want more kids?"

She squirmed on the bed. "Well, you and Abigail were trying-" she broke off, clearing her throat and ducking her head.

I lifted her chin so our eyes locked. "OK, first: you and I are not Abigail and me. We are separate and distinct with our own challenges and history, right?" I waited for her to nod. "Second: we already have two amazing kids that are going to keep us busy for years to come. Why would I want or need another child?"

She shrugged. "Because neither one is ours."

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her once, hard. "That is the last time I want those words to cross your lips Mary Shannon soon-to-be Mann, do you understand me? I'm sick and tired of people throwing the fact that just because Nora and Georgie aren't mine by blood that they aren't mine – because they are! Or they will be as soon as I marry you and we adopt Georgie."

Mary's face paled and she went perfectly still. "You want to adopt Georgie?"

I caressed her cheekbone. "Yes. I want to adopt him and raise him and Nora with you. I want to be your husband and always come home to them. You are my family, Mary – you always have been."

She buried her face in my neck. "Don't let us go again."

* * *

The next time I woke up, I was alone.

Mary and I had called the kids, and over their screaming and crying, I had managed to convince them that I was OK, but I wasn't coming home quite yet. The conversation took what little energy I had, and I barely remember Mary telling me to get some more sleep as her lips pressed against mine in a short, but sweet kiss.

Now I was more fully awake and I wondered what time it was and where Mary had gone. I had fallen asleep with my dark glasses on but I was relieved that the extra sleep seemed to have helped my headache. The pain was down to a dull throb, and my vision was no longer blurry but I was still seeing two of everything and I hoped that would end soon as it made me dizzy.

I heard voices in the hall and I cocked my head to listen. It wasn't Mary, but one of the nurses telling someone that I was resting and couldn't be disturbed. But the next moment, the door swung open and a strange man poked his head inside.

"He's awake, Manny," he called over his shoulder as he strode into the room. "Nice to see you finally awake, Mr. Mann."

I studied him in silence, and even though I'd never laid eyes on him, I identified him as a cop immediately. His partner, Manny, came quickly into the room, still talking over his shoulder to the nurse. "We'll do our best not to upset your patient, but we really must talk to him." Manny shut the door and turned to face me as well. "Good afternoon, Mr. Mann."

"Who are you?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm Detective Manny Watts of the NYPD and this is my partner Mike."

Mike grinned. "How ya feeling?"

I looked at the kid in disbelief. "I've been better, thanks. Sorry to trouble you fellas, but can I see some ID?"

Mike's mouth fell open but Manny grinned. "Sure thing – should have done that first." He reached inside his jacket and pulled out his badge and ID.

I could barely focus on it as my eyes made two or three images of it, but I nodded. "Thanks, I'm a little overly cautious at the moment."

"I don't blame you, Mr. – do you mind if I call you Marshall?"

"Go ahead."

"So tell me, Marshall, what brought you to New York?"

"Business – I had a meeting with my bosses."

Mike had pulled out a small notebook and was scribbling in it. "About?"

I shook my head slightly. "That's confidential and has nothing to do with my head getting bashed in on the subway platform."

Manny's eyes narrowed. "You sure about that? I mean, you're a US Marshal in Witness Protection. I'm sure you've made quite a few enemies over the years-"

"The people who enter the program are the ones with the enemies, not me."

"What about your personal life? Disgruntled co-workers, a jealous ex-wife?"

"That's-" I bit the word off before I said it. Crazy. Abigail had been acting crazy but she had been doing so much better lately – and she'd never done anything violent. I knew that she was still unhappy and perhaps she wanted me back but to physically attack me and leave me for dead? No, that wasn't in her nature.

"What – crazy? You do have an ex-wife, don't you, Marshall? Do you know where she is?"

I jumped as the door slammed shut and Mary stood there, her arms crossed, her green eyes blazing fire. "Well, if it isn't Tweddledee and Tweddledum. Have you managed to find the White Rabbit yet? Or are you too busy standing on your heads and asking questions that don't make any sense?"

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling. _That's my girl._

"Ms. Shannon, we're doing all we can to find whoever attacked Marshall-"

She snorted. "Doesn't sound like it to me. Asking him questions that have nothing to do with the Subway Slugger-"

Mike interrupted. "We don't know for sure that it was him."

Mary turned on the kid. "It fits the MO exactly."

"I beg to differ. The slugger has never been this violent – he or she usually just sneaks up behind the victim and knocks them out at the base of the skull, robs them and leaves. Marshall was hit on the side of the head and then left for dead behind a dumpster."

"Did it never occur to you that Marshall's reflexes as a US Marshal prevented the Slugger from being able to take him by surprise?" Mary cried in exasperation. "That at the last moment, Marshall turned and that's why he was struck in the side of the head?"

Manny was silent for a moment before nodding thoughtfully. "It's possible. Do you remember anything from that morning, Marshall?"

I frowned. "I remember my meeting, and talking with one of my bosses afterwards. Then I have a vague impression of calling Mary and talking with her as I walked down the street – but that part's hazy, like a dream. And then everything goes black."

"So you don't remember going down to the Subway?"

"No, sorry."

"But Manny," Mike broke in. "It still doesn't explain why Marshall was found behind a dumpster. The slugger always leaves his victims out in the open."

I shared a look with Mary before answering. "Have any of the victims been cops, judges, anyone in law enforcement?"

"No, just common everyday folk, why?"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "It's a possibility then that when the Slugger saw my ID, he panicked and tried to rouse me. When I didn't respond, he completely freaked out and that's when he pulled me behind that dumpster."

Mike snorted. "This is all supposition."

Mary whirled on him in a fury. "You got a better theory, Junior? Let's hear it."

"Mary, stop it," I whispered, my fingers moving to rub my temples.

"All right, it's time for the two of you to leave," Mary ordered as she crossed to my side, dropping on the bed and slapping my fingers away, taking over the massage. "Marshall or I will call you if he remembers anything."

I waited until I heard the door close behind the detectives before I slumped into her touch. "Thank you."

She grunted. "Stop trying to force it, babe. It's not going to come back until it's good and ready. After my shooting, I tried so hard to remember who shot me and in the end you told me that I just needed to let it go – that one day the images would just pop into my head."

I smiled. "Did you just call me 'babe'?"

She stopped her massage long enough to smack my face very gently. "Is that the only thing you heard?"

"No, I was listening, truly. Though your magic fingers make it hard to concentrate."

I didn't need to see her to know she rolled her eyes. "You're such a girl."

"But you love me anyway."

Her fingers paused in their movements at my words before she ran them through my hair. "Better?"

I grabbed one of her hands and kissed the palm. "Much. Where did you go?"

"Back to the hotel to shower and change clothes."

"Mm – stay with me tonight?"

"Marshall," she moaned. "We can't have a slumber party in the hospital-"

"Why not? There aren't any dogs or kids here-"

She laughed. "No, just nurses coming to check your vitals every fifteen minutes!"

My lips sought hers and brushed against them softly. "Stay."

She shook her head. "They'll kick me out."

"I'll hide you."

"Where?"

I pulled her down next to me in the bed. "I'll think of something – just, close your eyes and go to sleep. I know you haven't slept since you got here."

She blinked up at me in surprise. "How?"

I tapped the side of her head. "Room renting, remember? Go to sleep, my love."

"Don't call me that," she murmured sleepily and I laughed.

"If you can call me 'babe', I can call you 'my love'."

"Mm- only when alone-" she nuzzled my chest and her breathing evened out in sleep.

"Don't worry, Mer, we're alone."

* * *

_A/N: I'll admit it - I have a thing for 'hurt' Marshall and Mary taking care of him. And I'll also confess that this mugging story line doesn't really go anywhere past the next chapter - it's just an evil plot device for Mary to realize the depth of her feelings :) Reviews are LOVE!_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: So like I mentioned at the end of the last chapter, Marshall's mugging story line doesn't really go anywhere - it wraps up quickly in the beginning of this chapter to make way for the development for M&amp;M's relationship and then . . . oh yes, more angst! Greenstuff wanted angst, and this fic has lots of it! Enjoy the lovely moments in the chapter - it's another one of my favorite scenes at the end (sniff)._

* * *

"_Marshall, you've got to give me more than that! Calling and telling me that everything is fine isn't enough – I need more!"_

_I laughed as I stood at the top of the stairs that led to the subway. "You're just going to have to wait until I get home, Mer. I want to see your face when I tell you everything – just trust me when I say that everything really is OK. I'm coming home to you and the kids and everything we want can happen now."_

_I heard her breath catch. "What exactly do you want?"_

"_Oh no, I'm not telling you that until you tell me what YOU want. Have you figured that out?"_

"_I'm trying – really, I am but you know I'm not good with the touchy feely shit-"_

"_Does that mean you have feelings for me?"_

"_Damn it, Marshall, you know I do!"_

_I grinned. "I love you too. I'm on the way to the airport right now – see you tonight."_

"_Marshall, I-"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Have a safe flight."_

_I chuckled as I hung up the phone and jogged down the steps, knowing that wasn't what she wanted to say but again at the last minute her fears had caused her to choke. It didn't matter. She had finally admitted out loud that she had romantic feelings for me – something I didn't think she'd ever have and I felt like I was walking on air! I couldn't wait to get home to her and the kids and-_

_Suddenly the hair on the back of my neck stood up straight and I slowed down, hearing the footsteps behind me slow as well. The Subway platform was deserted at this time of the late morning but I had the distinct impression that someone was following me. I ducked around a pillar and waited, listening for the footsteps to come closer, closer. At the last second, I stepped around and into the path of-_

* * *

I sat up in the hospital bed, gasping and sweating, nearly knocking Mary to the floor.

"What the fuck? Marshall, Marshall, what's wrong?" her hands were on my back, slipping inside the gown and rubbing my sweat soaked flesh. "It's just a dream, you're safe, you're here with me at the hospital."

I shook my head violently as I staggered to my feet, shrugging off her touch. "No, no, no! It wasn't a dream."

She slipped off the bed and came around slowly to stand in front of me. "You remember something?"

I was still breathing heavily as the final pieces slid into place. "Everything – I remember all of it. Our phone conversation – walking down the stairs and knowing that someone was following me. I ducked behind a pillar and waited and then-"

Mary nodded. "And then-"

I rubbed the side of my head, gingerly fingering the bandage covering my wound. "It was a metal bat, Mer. I'm damn lucky to be alive right now."

She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "Did you see who it was?"

I hesitated. "Yes – but it will be hell to prove."

"Why?"

"He was wearing a mask – but I saw his eyes, his jaw, his build, heard him grunt as I kicked him in the ribs just as he struck me-"

"Well, that should be easy to prove, then. Your roundhouse kicks are lethal, Marshall. I'm sure whoever it is still has the bruise."

"Mike."

She frowned. "Mike?" Then she gasped. "Mike – detective Mike? The one that was here this afternoon – you're sure?"

"I'm sure."

"I'll kill him."

I reached out and snagged her wrist. "The law, Mer. Let the law do its job. Do you have a number for either of them?"

"Just a minute." She jerked out of my hold and went to find her purse. "I have Manny's card. Do you want me to call him?"

"Just dial his number for me, please. I can't focus on print yet. I'll talk to him."

Mary used the phone by the bed and paced while I talked to Manny and told him everything I remembered. She pounced on me as soon as I hung up.

"What did he say?"

"That my testimony is enough for a search warrant for Mike's apartment. He also said that his partner told him he wasn't feeling well and went home after they talked to me."

"Marshall! He's running!"

I reached out and pulled her down to sit next to me on the bed. "I know, Mer, but it's not our concern. This isn't our case."

She pulled back from me in shock. "How can you say that? He tried to kill you-"

I shook my head. "No, he mugged me. I honestly think he panicked when he discovered I was a US Marshal-"

"Doesn't change the fact that he left you for dead! You could have died! You have no idea the hell I've been living in ever since Jack came back to the office and you didn't. What would I have told the kids? Do you know that Georgie hasn't stopped calling you 'Daddy' since you left? I don't think I could have told him that another parent was dead, Marshall-"

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her hard. "Mary, stop! You're hysterical. I'm not dead, Mike didn't kill me – all right? I know there are no guarantees in this life – that either one of us could walk out that door and never come back but that's why we have to enjoy every moment we do have together. I love you, Mary Shannon. Please believe that – please trust that I won't leave you without putting up a damn good fight."

She swung her leg over my lap and pressed her face into the skin of my neck, muffling her tears. "When Jack came back, I said, 'Did you and Marshall have a good flight?' and he looked at me with a blank face and said, 'Marshall wasn't on my flight.' I felt myself go cold all over. Delia grabbed me and shoved me into a chair, forced my head between my knees, told me to breathe – but I knew. I just knew something awful had happened."

I stroked her back. "I'm so sorry I worried you, my love."

"I caught the next flight out, Joanna promised to stay with the kids until I got back. By the time I landed, Stan had found out you had been admitted here as a John Doe and the rest you know. But to think that some crazed cop almost took you away from us – from me before –"

"Hush. Let's not talk about it anymore, all right? You're just going to make yourself sick and I need my kickass girl by my side to protect me in case Mike does come back to finish the job."

She pulled back to stare into my eyes. "Just let him try it and I will send him off with a bullet in his posterior."

I grinned. "That's my girl."

"You haven't called me that in years."

I cupped her face. "I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't think – I wasn't sure you wanted to hear it."

She swallowed and dropped her eyes from mine. "I didn't think I still was your girl."

I dropped a kiss on her lips and lingered until I felt her respond, pulling her into me. "You've always been my girl – even when we were just best friends and partners."

She quirked an eyebrow. "I thought that's all we would ever be."

I smiled back. "Is that all we are now?"

She ran a hand through my hair, letting it linger over my bandage before coming back to my cheek. "No."

My heart began to beat faster. "So what are we now?"

"Engaged?" She breathed the question against my lips.

"Mary-" I groaned. It was the first time she had brought the subject up since I had sprung it on her earlier in the day. It was what I wanted – but I had been waiting for her. I felt like I had been waiting a lifetime for her, and I would continue to wait. She was my endgame and I would wait until I was old and gray for her to figure out that I was hers as well. "Are you saying-"

"I'm saying-" She pulled back a little, suddenly nervous. "That is, if you were serious before and not just saying that to the nurse so I could stay. If you were, then I take back-"

I kissed her because it was the best way to stop her nervous babble and because I could and because I was addicted to her taste. "I meant it," I panted when we broke apart. "Marry me."

"That's not a question."

I smirked. "You don't respond well to questions."

She smacked my shoulder. "I don't respond well to orders, either."

"How about a business proposal then? Mary, you and I were partners for nearly a decade and know the best and worst about each other and are still here, gluttons for more punishment. How about we make our partnership permanent and get married?"

She pulled away and folded her arms. "You call that a proposal? I expected something more poetic from you."

"You don't do sappy, Mer."

"No, but this is one situation that calls for it."

I shrugged. "If you insist." I pulled her back into my lap, ignoring her short, sharp squeal of protest. "Mary Shannon, you told me once that you don't get what you want. But I'm here to tell you that with me in your life, you can have everything you've ever wanted and more. Once upon a time, you didn't think you wanted children and now here you are, raising two children and if you let me, I want to help you by being a father to them and a husband to you. I know you're afraid, but don't let those fears hold you back from being happy, my love. You and I, and Nora and Georgie, we've become a family and I would love nothing more than to make it permanent. Please say you'll be my wife."

Mary's hands came up to cup my face. "You're trembling."

I laughed shakily. "That tends to happen when I have the love of my life sitting in my lap and I've just asked her the most important question ever and am still waiting for an answer."

She sighed. "You're just so – so-"

"So what?"

"So sure."

My heart stopped. "And you're not."

"I want to be – I want to ignore my fears and jump into this with you but-"

"You need more time."

She shook her head. "I don't think I do – I don't think that's it. I think the fears will still be there if I wait a few months or a year. I know I – my feelings for you – fuck, why can't I say the words?"

I pulled her into me, cradling her head over my heart. "Hush, Mer. I know you love me – and it's hurting me to see you in this agony. I didn't propose to you to put you in this quandary. We can table this decision for now – I just wanted you to be in no question of where I stood."

She chuckled. "I've never wondered where you stood in regards to your feelings, Marshall – well, you had me fooled for a while when you married the cheerleader."

I grimaced. "Yeah, I fooled all of us then, including myself. Mary, you take as much time as you need. I'm not going anywhere."

"Marshall?" she propped her chin on my chest to look me in the eye. "I need you to know that you're not waiting around for nothing. The answer will be yes."

My heart soared as I crushed our lips together. It wasn't a 'no' or even a 'maybe'. It was a 'wait' – and I could live with that. I'd been waiting for her for years. I could wait a little longer.

* * *

**2 Days Later**

**Final approach to Albuquerque, NM**

"Wait, Marshall – before we get off this plane and are surrounded by the kids and the grandmas' –"

I cocked my head in Mary's direction as I picked up my carry-on from under my seat. "What is it?"

"I – can you please stop messing with that and look at me?"

My hands froze at the tone of her voice and my eyes locked with hers. "Mer, what is it? If you're worried about Mike coming after me, I really don't think he's going to follow us all the way to –"

"No, that's not it."

I frowned. "Then what is it? Is this about us? Are you breaking up with me before we even give this thing between us a chance?"

She blew out a breath. "No, but I need you to listen to me. Could we," she cleared her throat. "Could we please just keep this between us for now? I mean, until we figure out how we're going to handle work and telling the kids, not to mention Jinx and-"

I leaned over the armrest and silenced her with a brief kiss. "I think you're worrying over nothing – the bosses already know about us and the kids will be over the moon-"

"I'd just like a little more time to figure things out before everyone starts cooing and weighing in on the change in our relationship."

I laughed. "So I can't change my Facebook status?"

She hit my arm. "No – wait, you're kidding, I hope? God, Marshall, you're such a girl! You're serious, aren't you? NO, you can't change your relationship status on Facebook – that's like putting an AD out in-"

I kissed her again, pushing my tongue past her lips, waiting for her moan before I pulled back. "I'll play this however you want as long as you promise me you won't run."

We were thrown forward in our seats as the plane touched down but Mary's eyes never left mine as she whispered, "I promise."

* * *

"Uncle Marshall!"

"DADDY!"

I dropped to my knees on the carpet on the other side of the security gate and opened my arms to catch Nora and Georgie, grunting slightly at the impact from the force of their bodies hitting my chest at such a high speed. I closed my eyes and breathed in their freshly washed scent, letting the sound of their babbling voices run over me like refreshing rain. I was vaguely aware of Mary leaving my side to greet Jinx and Joanna, but my attention was focused on the kids that in my darkest moments I had feared I would never see again. When I felt I had control over my emotions, I opened my eyes and looked into Nora's green eyes and Georgie's brown. I tousled Georgie's curls and gently tugged on Nora's ponytail, my heart soaring at the sound of their giggles.

"We missed you so much, Daddy."

I smiled. "I missed you guys, too."

Nora reached up and gently touched the stitches on the side of my head with her finger. "Does it hurt?"

I shook my head. "Not anymore, love bug. It itches now, just like your arm."

Georgie cocked his head. "You have a funny haircut."

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess I do. Maybe Aunt Mary will give me a buzz cut when we get home."

"What that?"

I stood, swinging Georgie up into my arms as Nora clung to my hip. "Hm, you'll have to wait and see."

"Welcome home, Marshall."

I raised my eyes to see Joanna standing in front of me, her eyes wet with emotion. "Thanks, Jo. I appreciate you taking care of the kids so Mary could come to New York and look after me."

Joanna shook her head. "They were no trouble and it kept me busy – we were all worried about you."

I reached out a hand and squeezed her shoulder. "Thank you – I'm fine."

Before I could say anything more, Jinx engulfed me in a perfumed hug. "I'm so glad you're OK! I was so worried when Mary just took off like that without a word and the kids were crying and then she called and said you were nearly kill-"

"Jinx!" I barked her name and nodded my head at Georgie who was wide eyed in my arms. "I'm fine," I reiterated firmly. "The doctors patched me up and here I am, back with my family where I belong."

"Daddy stay home now?" Georgie asked, his lower lip trembling.

I sighed and glanced over his head at Mary. How do you reassure a child when death is a part of life? Not to mention the fact that I was waiting on her for the green light, and she had just made me promise to keep our budding romance a secret for now.

Mary stepped back to my side and ran her hand down Georgie's back. "Uncle Marshall has to go on trips for work, just like I do, Georgie, but he will always do his best to come home to us. He lives with us now."

Nora clutched my leg tightly in excitement. "You do?"

I smiled down into Mary's upturned face, desperately wanting to kiss her but holding back on account of being surrounded by our family. "You heard your mother, Nora. She's the boss."

Mary snorted. "About time you acknowledged that."

I grinned and swung Georgie up to my shoulders. "So let's go home."

* * *

"You sure about this?"

I locked eyes with Mary in the bathroom mirror and tried not to laugh as I saw her frown.

"Do you want me to do it? 'Cause I can – I just thought you'd like to-"

Georgie and Nora were perched on the lip of the bathtub, their eyes huge in their small faces.

"No, I'll do it. I just don't want to hurt you-"

"So leave a wide berth around my incision if you're squeamish and I'll-"

"I am NOT squeamish, Marshall Mann!"

Giggles erupted behind her and Mary flushed. I caught the hand that wasn't holding the clippers in one of mine. "I thought you said you'd done this before."

"I have – but not with someone who has a head wound!"

Ignoring the watchful eyes of the kids, I kissed the back of her hand before dropping it. "You won't hurt me, Mer."

She huffed out a breath. "The stitches still look angry-"

I smiled. "How can stitches look angry?"

More giggles came from behind us.

"You know what I mean! I mean the skin around your stitches, the incision-"

"And that part is already shaved, so you don't have to get too close so stop stalling and give me a buzz cut, Mer."

Gritting her teeth, Mary pushed the button and set the razor against the skin of my neck. The whole thing only took five minutes and when she was finished, I no longer had a funny haircut.

"Well, what do you think?" I asked, turning to the wide-eyed kids on the tub.

Nora crinkled her nose. "You look weird. If I hadn't watched mom do it – I don't think I would know it was you."

I laughed. "Don't worry, love bug. My hair will grow back."

"Thank God," Mary muttered.

"What was that?" I turned back to her in time to see her flush.

"I mean – I agree with Nora. You look weird."

I stuck my tongue out. "Thanks for the support."

Georgie slid off the lip of the tub and came forward to stand between my legs. "Can I touch it?"

I chuckled. "Sure, sport, go ahead."

He rubbed my head, being careful to avoid my stitches. "Cool! I want a haircut like Daddy's!"

Nora groaned and Mary protested. "No, absolutely not!"

"Oh, come on, Mer. It's summer and his hair will grow back."

Sadness flitted across her face as she reached out and ran a hand through his curls. "I – I can't. You'll have to do it." She slapped the clippers in my hand as she fled the bathroom.

"Did you do it?"

I lowered myself to sit next to her and dropped my feet in the pool. "Yes – I hope you're not mad at me."

Her head shot up and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. "Oh – oh no, Marshall. That's not it at all – it's just-" she swallowed. "Where are the kids?"

"Watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse."

"Oh."

I lifted an arm and put it around her shoulders and she sagged against me. The sobs racked her body and for several minutes I held her as she cried and I said nothing, simply holding her until the worst of the storm passed.

"Tell me," I whispered into her hair.

"It's silly- I should be over this by now."

"By this I'm assuming you mean your sister-"

She nodded against my chest.

"Mary, you lost Brandi too soon – I don't think you'll ever get over it. I think that in time, the pain will be less fierce than it is today, but you will always feel her loss."

My words brought on a fresh storm and I held her tight until it past and her tears soaked my shirt. "You asked what sparked my sadness tonight – it was Georgie's hair."

I nodded and waited for her to continue.

Mary sniffled. "Mom doesn't have many pictures of Brandi and me as children so you won't know – but Georgie looks so much like her, down to his curly blonde hair. And tonight when he said he wanted to cut off his curls-"

"I'm sorry, my love. If you'd said something-"

She clutched me tighter. "No, like I said it's silly and I want Georgie to find his own identity – I mean he's a boy, for cryin' out loud. I wouldn't have sent him off to preschool in the fall with those curls. He would have gotten beat up!"

I chuckled. "I don't know if this will help or hurt, but I have something for you-"

She pulled back to look me in the eye. "What is it?"

I pulled an envelope from my back pocket. "I had a feeling that his curls were important, and it's customary to save some hair from a child's first haircut – though I know this isn't Georgie's first. But since I did cut nearly all his hair off- here." I handed her the envelope and watched as she opened and dumped several golden curls into her palm.

"Marshall-" she choked.

"I thought you could save them in the last page of his baby book."

She crushed her lips to mine, the downy curls caught between us. "I don't deserve you. How did you know-"

I cupped her face and swiped the remaining tears from her cheeks with my thumbs. "Because I know you."

* * *

_A/N: Sigh, don't you just love Marshall? He did sweet stuff like this on the show all the time, and Mary still didn't get it - still didn't choose him. And that's why we write fanfic! Coming up: Georgie's 4th birthday party is the scene of a big reveal that has nothing to do with presents. Reviews are LOVE!_


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: Mary's her own worst enemy when it comes to relationships and feelings - it's a good thing Marshall is so patient with her. But what happens when his own fears and insecurities start to surface? Read on to find out. . . ._

* * *

"Happy birthday, dear Georgie, happy birthday to YOU!"

Georgie clapped his hands in four year old glee and leaned forward, nearly setting his face alight from the flames atop his cake but I reached out and pulled him back. "Whoa, Sport. Not too close, OK? Now close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out your candles."

He screwed his eyes shut and held his breath for two seconds before his eyes popped open and with a mighty gust of air, blew out all four candles on his cake.

"Ew, Uncle Marshall!" Nora cried. "Georgie spit on the cake!"

I chuckled as I removed the candles and Mary handed me the knife to start cutting pieces. "I guess you don't want any, then?"

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I didn't say that – maybe just cut me one away from where he blew out his candles?"

"Me too, please," Mary chimed in as she brought the ice cream from the freezer.

I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue to keep from making a comment about apples and trees.

Mary knocked the hand that wasn't holding the knife. "I heard that," she whispered, her eyes narrowed in mock anger.

I laughed.

"What?" Nora wrinkled her nose. "I didn't hear Uncle Marshall say anything, Mama."

"Not out loud, Bug. But I've known your uncle long enough that I can read his mind."

"WOW!" Georgie's eyes popped out of his head. "Is that true, Daddy?"

I nodded. "It doesn't happen all the time, Sport. Just sometimes."

Nora frowned. "That's weird – I don't think I'd like it if somebody could read my mind – well, except Mama."

Mary kissed the top of Nora's head. "I'll always be able to read you, Bug, because you're my baby."

The front door opened and slammed. "Hello? Is anyone home?"

I turned towards the open patio door and called, "We're outside, Jinx!"

"GiGi!"

Georgie and Nora attacked Jinx as soon as she came through the open sliding door, and Oscar wasn't too far behind. "I'm SO sorry I'm late, my darlings! My last student- well, it doesn't matter. Have I missed all the festivities?"

"We ate all of Uncle Marshall's ribs-"

"No, Love Bug, I saved GiGi a plate."

Mary planted a hand on her hip. "You did? I didn't know that."

I grinned and licked frosting off my fingers. "That's because you would have eaten them if you'd known."

Her mouth fell open. "That's so not true – I can control myself-"

Nora giggled. "How many did you eat, Mama?"

Mary huffed. "I lost count-"

I snorted. "Yeah, right around-"

She clamped a hand over my mouth. "Come and get your cake and ice cream, kids, before it melts."

I waited until they were distracted before I opened my mouth underneath her hand and licked the palm. Mary gasped quietly and her eyes darkened as they swung up to meet mine. "Behave," she whispered as she snatched her hand back.

"Why?"

"Because no one knows-"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you honestly think that in the past three weeks no one has figured us out? We're the worst kept secret in WitSec, Mer."

She licked her lips. "I know – just, not yet, OK?"

"Okay."

"Marshall, this cake is incredible! Did you make it?" Jinx's voice called us back to the party.

Mary grinned as she shoveled a huge forkful in her mouth and spoke around it. "Yep, he's my very own Betty Crocker. Now you know why I don't charge him rent, mom, not when he cooks like this and cleans up to boot."

"Are you calling me a househusband?" I demanded.

"If the apron fits-"

Just then Oscar let out a sharp bark and tried to jump up and grab his own piece of cake. Only Mary's sharp reprimand and my quick reflexes of grabbing the cake prevented the entire thing from ending up on the pavement. I wanted to shut the dog up in the house but the kids dragged him off to play instead. I brought out the plate of ribs and other fixings I had managed to save and ran interference with Mary while Jinx ate her late birthday dinner.

"So what did Georgie wish for?"

I shook my head. "He didn't tell us."

"It's bad luck to tell, GiGi!" Nora yelled as she raced by with Oscar and Georgie in hot pursuit.

I lowered my voice to be sure the kids wouldn't hear me. "About a month ago, he told me he wanted Brandi back – but he knew that was impossible."

Both Shannon women shared an emotional look before staring off into the distance. Perhaps I shouldn't have brought it up but I wanted them to know that Georgie may appear to be doing OK on the outside but he was still struggling on the inside, much the same as they were.

Jinx cleared her throat. "Mary, perhaps it's time to revisit my moving in-"

"Mom, no. Where would we put you?" Mary shifted her gaze to me, pleading with me silently to help her. "And what about Marshall? He's been great, a lifesaver not only with George, but Nora too-"

"As much as I adore Marshall, and yes, he is their godfather, don't you think having him here long-term is actually sending the wrong message to Nora and George?"

I set my jaw and dropped my eyes. I was itching to speak the words that Mary had pleaded with me not to – that we were exploring a relationship and that hopefully one day soon, would be married. I wanted nothing more than to sweep Mary into my arms and kiss her, thereby showing Jinx and the kids that there was no need for any confusion or mixed messages. But my hands and feet and words and actions were all tied up in waiting for Mary. She held all the cards and I'd never felt so helpless.

Mary frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Marshall has been essentially living with you since his divorce – and he's your boss, Mary. Isn't that causing some – well, difficulties at work? And I fear that the longer he stays, the more the kids aren't going to want him to go. They will want the two of you to stay together – perhaps even make a family. Have you thought of that? Marshall just got out of a marriage and I know you've never thought of marrying your partner – sorry Marshall, but it's the truth. So I just think it's in the best interests of everyone if I-"

"Mother, for God's sake, SHUT UP!"

Mary's outburst had the desired effect of stopping the flow of Jinx's words but also brought to a halt the kids' play and now all of us were staring at her with surprised, somewhat nervous expressions. I went over to the kids and dropped to one knee so I was eye level with them.

"Why don't you go inside and give Oscar some food and something to drink? I'm sure he's hungry and thirsty after all that exercise."

Nora stared at me. "What's wrong with Mama? Why is she yelling at GiGi?"

"It's complicated, grown-up stuff."

She crossed her arms. "I don't like the 'C' word."

"I know – but I'm telling you the truth, Nora. Can you go inside and feed Oscar? And maybe watch a show?"

"Everything is OK?"

"It will be."

She gave a long sigh and reached out a hand to Georgie who had lost interest in the discussion between Mary and GiGi. "Come on, Georgie. Let's go watch a show."

"Yippee!"

I followed them and slid the door shut before returning to Mary and Jinx, who had at least lowered their voices back to whispers.

"Mom, I need you to listen to me: I don't have room for you here-"

"Which is why I brought these-" Jinx pulled out colorful brochures from her bag. "Now, I know these are a little pricey but I think with both of our incomes and pinching our pennies for a bit in the beginning, we can do it."

Mary took the brochures and flipped through them. "Condos, townhouses, and fuck, Mom! There's even a couple houses for rent in here! Do you not realize that I own this house free and clear? Why on earth would I want to sell and start over?"

"Because this house is not big enough, you said so yourself. And the memories-"

Mary closed her eyes and swallowed. "Yes, there are some painful memories, but I also have some pretty great ones as well. I'm not selling, mom. That's final."

Jinx shrugged. "Well, I guess I can squeeze in somewhere."

"NO! Mom, you're not hearing me. Marshall and I have things figured out – and the kids are not going to get the wrong idea because there's no wrong idea to get." She licked her lips. "We're engaged."

Jinx stumbled to her feet. "Mary – is this true?"

She nodded as she looked to me for confirmation but I felt numb. This whole conversation had had me spinning from the start and it still felt unreal. Was this what she really wanted or was I another out? Another escape plan so she wouldn't have to be shackled to her mother for a second time?

Mary rolled her eyes. "Of course it's true."

Jinx's squeal pierced our eardrums as she wrapped both of us in a bone crushing embrace.

* * *

"I'm going for a run."

"Marshall, you OK?"

"I'm fine."

"Marshall."

I turned to see her standing in the hall just outside the kids' room, her brow furrowed, her eyes looking straight through me. "What?"

"Nora's not the only one who can tell when you're lying."

We hadn't had a private moment since Mary had announced our engagement to Jinx and gotten her to keep it quiet for a bit since we hadn't told the kids. We had gone from having a secret relationship, to having no relationship in the eyes of the world, to revealing the fact that we were engaged. We'd gone from zero to sixty in a heartbeat and even though she'd been the one to apply the brakes and it had been her decision to step off and apply the gas, I did wonder why my nose was out of joint. I wish I could silence the voice in my head that said she hadn't learned from old mistakes and that I was simply a means of escape and she was taking pity on my years of devotion.

I needed to get out of the house before I said something I regretted and couldn't take back.

"Marshall? I thought you'd want to talk about the-"

"Not now – when I get back, we'll talk."

She stepped into my personal space. "About what? I thought you'd be over the moon since everything's out in the open-"

I set my teeth and backed up a step. "Is that why you did it? Told Jinx we were engaged before you said yes to me? To get it all out in the open?"

She smiled as she raised a hand and ran it down my chest. "That's not exactly the way it happened, babe. If you'll remember, I told you when you asked me that the answer would be yes."

I grabbed her hand and removed it from my body. "But you hadn't told me yes – in fact, you told me just minutes before that you didn't want anyone to know about us."

She shrugged. "So I changed my mind."

"Or did Jinx change it for you?"

Mary narrowed her eyes. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"I mean, did your mother's pestering wear you down to the point where you wanted her off your back so badly you saw accepting my marriage proposal as the only way out?"

Mary paled and took a step back. "Is that- do you really think that?"

"I don't know!" I threw up my hands. "You married Mark to escape your family, remember? And you agreed to marry Raph because you took pity on him for carrying that ring around for months and basically being a whipped puppy who never left. So what does that make me? Mistake number three?"

"Get out."

I nodded. "Tell the kids that I had to go in early when they ask where I am in the morning. And don't forget to feed my dog."

"Marshall-"

"I'll be at the office if you need me."

* * *

I heard the buzzing of the outer door sometime after two in the morning and waited until she was in the doorway before I looked up. "Mary, it's late. Go home."

"I can't sleep without you."

My eyes drifted shut briefly before opening to see the pain in hers. Every night after putting the kids to bed, we would go and lay on her big bed and talk until we fell asleep. Sometime in the night I would wake up and stumble out to my air mattress in the living room and more often than not, Mary would follow me. It was a miracle neither of the kids had caught us yet because we really were the worst kept secret in WitSec.

I sighed and got to my feet, coming around my desk to meet her halfway. She crashed headfirst into my chest and for a long while, I simply held her and listened to her ragged breathing as she tried not to cry.

"Who's with the kids?"

"Jinx – she thinks we're celebrating."

I snorted. "I'm still mad at you."

"Same here."

I tried to step back but she groaned and tightened her hold on me. "Mer, I was just trying to head over to the couch – not pull away from you. Come on, let's sit down." She allowed me to steer us to the sofa that Stan had decided to leave behind and I wondered, not for the first time, how many nooners had been committed on this particular piece of furniture over the years. Pushing that thought to the side, I swung my arm around her shoulders and waited for her to speak. I had already said too much.

"I thought about what you said after you left," she whispered, her breath tickling the exposed skin of my open shirt collar. "And you were right."

"Mary-" I tensed under her.

"No- don't misunderstand me, Marshall. You weren't right about us – but you were right about THEM."

I rubbed her upper arm soothingly. "I didn't mean to – hell, Mary, I was angry, I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't have any right-"

She lifted a finger and placed it on my lips. "You, more than anyone else, have every right. You love me more than any man ever has and – I hope you know that even though the words aren't easy for me, I feel more for you than I have for any other man. And that scares the shit out of me, Marshall."

She shuddered and I kissed her finger before removing it to claim her lips in a brief kiss. "I know."

"I married Mark to get away from Jinx, knowing that if I was married, she couldn't drag me back home to clean up after her and take care of Brandi. I know that sounds awful, but I was sick and tired of doing it. I'd been doing it for eleven years and I was done. I don't even think I loved Mark – he was extremely popular and all the girls went crazy for him and so it was flattering to be his girl but I don't think I really cared about him as a person and so when he cheated on me two days into our marriage, I didn't feel any great loss. I was just determined not to go back home and so I struck out on my own."

I ran the back of my hand down her cheekbone. "And you made it."

She shrugged. "For a while – but mom and Brandi always find me – like bad pennies." She winced. "I shouldn't talk like that – mom's turned her life around and Squish is-" She took a deep breath. "Anyway, I was talking about my old flames, wasn't I?"

"Mary, you don't have to do-"

"Yes, I do. Raph was different from Mark – I really did care about him, I loved him, but not as much as he loved me, and not as much as I –" she blundered to a stop, her eyes meeting mine.

"Not as much as you love me?"

She nodded. "When his mother showed up and she planned that engagement dinner because she thought we were engaged, I was furious but as time went on - I did feel sorry for him. He had seen the ugly side of me and hadn't run and was still by my side so maybe I could learn to-" Mary stopped and shook her head. "But in the end, I just hurt him worse. I should have never accepted. I should have let him go that night. I should have never-"

I cupped her face in my hands. "Stop. You'll drive yourself crazy with all the 'should haves'. In the end, Raph is a grown man who made his own decisions. He could have ended your engagement himself – you weren't the only one involved. Try and remember that."

"I don't want to ruin you too."

My hands stilled on her face. "Is that what you're afraid of? That you'll ruin my chance for happiness?"

She nodded. "It's why I didn't tell you I had feelings for you sooner."

The blood was pounding in my ears, nearly drowning out the sound of her voice. "What are you saying? When did you realize your feelings had deepened beyond friendship, Mer?"

She licked her lips. "The day you brought Biscuit the second to Nora."

My hands slipped from her face. "Oh God, Mary. Why didn't you tell me? I wasn't – I was still free – Fuck, Mary!" I cradled my head in my hands.

"Do you remember our conversation a year later on the balcony when I said that I would do anything for you?"

I raised tear filled eyes to hers. "What does that have to do with-"

"Do you remember?"

"Yes."

"And I said that you above anyone else I knew deserved to be happy. Even though I never liked Abigail, I knew she made you happy. Well, she did before she went bat shit crazy, but that's beside the point. I knew that I could never make you as happy-"

I gripped her upper arms. "You still don't get it! Abigail could never make me as happy as you do, Mer! I never loved her the way I love you-"

She shook her head. "I didn't know that then-"

I kissed her fiercely, pressing my lips to hers, my mouth moving hungrily as if I was trying to steal the very breath from her body.

"Do you believe me now?" I panted against her cheek.

She smiled. "I have a pretty thick skull, but I think you're starting to convince me, Marshall."

"Good." I dropped a quick kiss on her lips. "So let's forget about earlier and start fresh from here. Do your words still stand?"

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What words?"

"That you would do anything for me and that I deserve to be happy, more than anyone else."

"It sounds cocky when you say it like that."

"Mary-"

"Yes, Marshall, it's still true."

I dropped to one knee in front of her, keeping hold of her hands. "Then make me the happiest of men, Mary Shannon, and marry me."

She sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Ah-" I held up a finger. "You said you'd do anything for me."

She groaned. "I'm going to regret telling you that."

I kissed her knuckles. "Mary?"

She pulled on our joined hands and I slipped back onto the couch beside her. "Yes."

I crushed her to me, breathing in her fresh scent. "I love you."

Mary's lips moved against the skin of my neck and even though her words weren't audible, my heart heard her.

"You get to break the news to Nora," she whispered after a few minutes.

"You don't think she'll be happy?" I frowned.

"I think she has her heart set on marrying you herself when she grows up."

I puffed my chest out. "I am irresistible to Shannon women."

She slapped my arm. "Reign it in, Casanova."

I pulled back so I could see her eyes. "Nora will be fine – I'll let her down gently, I promise. But this is our time, Mer, and it's long overdue."

"Yes, it is," she breathed the words against my lips.

* * *

_A/N: It's my birthday on Thursday - and the only present I want from you all is lots and lots of love in reviews ;)_


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Thank you everyone for all the birthday wishes and love in reviews! I had a good day, even though I had to work - the price of being a grown up. This weekend I've been feasting on my homemade b-day cake (red velvet, of course) and relaxing. _

_And now, on with our story. As one of you put it: "we just have to get them married." Hmm, in this angst ridden fic, do you really think it's going to be that simple?_

* * *

"Chief. Chief – Marshall! Wake up!"

I stirred at the sensation of being shook and someone calling my name, and finally managed to open gritty eyes to see Delia standing over me. "What the – Dee? What are you doing here at Mary's house?"

She bit her lower lip. "It's after nine, and you're in your office, Chief, not at home."

I glanced to my right and saw that Mary was still curled into my side, her head resting on my shoulder. _Shit. _"This isn't what it looks like, Inspector-"

"I'm not asking for any explanations, but Stan might – he's here in the conference room, waiting to talk to you both, along with some woman named Eleanor – do you know her?"

I groaned and Mary stirred, her eyes fluttering open. "Marshall? What is it?"

"Morning, Mary," Delia chirped. "Your mother's holding on line two for you."

"Fuck," Mary swung her feet onto the floor. "Is there coffee made?"

"I'll bring you both some," Delia nodded and left, leaving us alone.

"Where are my shoes?" Mary groused as she pushed back some hair and got to her feet unsteadily.

"Wait, Mer. Stan and Eleanor are here."

"What?" she gaped at me. "Where?" her eyes swung around the glass walls of the office and landed on the fish bowl conference room. "Why?"

"Probably to see if I was serious about stepping back down to an Inspector."

She snorted. "Well, obviously you're not-"

"I am."

She halted with one shoe in hand. "What are you talking about? Being a Marshal is your birthright – this is what you've always wanted-"

I stepped into her space and placed my hands on her shoulders. "These past three years, I've learned that I don't want to be in administration – well, at least not until I can't perform the physical part of our job anymore. I miss the action, the witnesses, you."

She swallowed. "What if they won't let you be my partner now that we're getting married?"

I smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead before pulling away to help her look for shoes. "Doesn't matter – I'll still be back in the field with you, making a difference – and that's what I want."

She grabbed one of my hands and held it tightly. "Promise me you're not giving up a dream for me. Because I don't want you to look back on this decision in three years and wonder 'what the hell was I thinking.'"

I laughed. "I'm sure – this is what I want – for me, for us, for our family."

She shook her head. "I still think you're nuts but if you're sure-" she shrugged and released my hand.

I found one shoe under my desk. "I won't blame you for my choices, Mary. I'm a big boy," I said as I held out her missing shoe to her and she rolled her eyes at me. "And we both know you love my nuts."

I ducked out the door before she could throw her shoe at me.

* * *

"Sorry to have kept you waiting."

"And we're sorry to have disturbed your beauty sleep."

I flushed. "It's not what it looked like, Eleanor. Mary and I – we had a long night and simply-"

Stan held up a hand. "Explanations aren't necessary, Chief Inspector. Neither one of you were on duty last night and I trust that nothing happened on government property."

I nodded. "That's correct."

Eleanor frowned. "I just want you to be careful, Marshall. Your superiors are still watching you and Mary very closely and will continue to do so – especially if your relationship is taken to the next level. Do you have anything you would like to share with us on that front?"

I grinned. "The cat's out of the bag, so it's no longer a secret. We're officially engaged."

Stan stood and came around the table to slap me on the back. "Congratulations, my boy! This is wonderful news!"

Eleanor's pencil thin eyebrows rose. "Hmm, yes, congratulations. I trust you know what you are getting into."

I nodded. "Better than you know."

Eleanor gave me a thin smile. "Well then, I do wish you both the best. Now, as you know, inspectors can be married to each other, but it is impossible for you to retain your current position and be Mary's husband."

I nodded again. "As I've stated previously, I've come to realize that I'm not cut out to be Chief Inspector at this time. I miss the interactions with the witnesses I had as an Inspector and I would like to return to my old position."

"You do realize that Jack has filled that position and that currently there is no open position to be filled?"

I swallowed. "Yes, but I've been going over our files and the books from the past six months. Ever since the Denver office closed, we have seen a fifty percent increase of witnesses being routed through this office, even if they aren't relocated to Albuquerque. I believe we are solvent enough to support a fourth Inspector."

"And if you aren't partnered with Mary? Does that change your mind at all about stepping down?"

I opened my mouth to reply when Mary herself burst into the fish bowl, muttering under her breath about Jinx and weddings and other swear words that weren't understandable to anyone else but me as they were swallowed into the bottom of her coffee cup. I stood and moved down a seat to allow her to sit next to me and she gave me a brief dazzling smile.

"Sorry. Mom was on the phone-" she waved the words away as she set her coffee mug down in front of her with a thud. "So catch me up – what have I missed?"

I nudged her knee with mine under the table and she shut her mouth with a snap as her head swiveled, her green eyes meeting mine in confusion. I hastened to explain. "Eleanor just asked me if not being partnered with you would change my mind about stepping down as Chief."

I saw the laughter in Mary's eyes before she turned her head to stare down Eleanor. "You think the two of us have to be joined at the hip twenty four hours a day? You think we have some sort of dysfunctional symbiotic relationship where we can't survive without the other? I'm sure that Marshall's shared the news we're engaged. So we're going to be living together, raising two kids together, and you think being separated during the day at work will break us? Please." She rolled her eyes and took another swig of coffee.

Stifling my wide grin behind a hand, I didn't dare look at Stan for fear of bursting out laughing. This was classic spit-fire, sarcastic Mary in all her glory. I hadn't expected her to be ready so soon after waking up – Delia must have put a couple shots of espresso in her coffee.

Eleanor frowned. "There's no need to get snippy, Mary. I just wanted to know if it would influence Marshall's decision. He has done a wonderful job the past three years and we hate to lose him – though I understand his reasons and I know that the job isn't for everyone."

I reached out and took Mary's hand under the table, giving it a squeeze. "If Mary didn't return my feelings and there was no engagement, my request would be the same, Eleanor. I miss the witnesses and feeling like I make a difference in people's lives. I'm not cut out to sit in endless meetings and fight with all the bureaus over red tape – at least, not yet."

She nodded. "Fortunately, we have someone who has also been unhappy in their career path and is excited to return to WitSec-"

I gasped as my eyes flew to Stan, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Stan?" Mary questioned. "You want to come back?"

He nodded. "I'm not cut out for DC – I miss the witnesses, too – and I love fighting with the bureaus."

Mary and I laughed.

"It won't be like last time, though," Eleanor warned. "Stan will be watched as well to see that he doesn't show any favoritism or partiality to the two of you – it's no secret that he has deep feelings for you both."

Stan spread his hands out in a shrug. "It's true – you both are my kids, you know that."

Eleanor cleared her throat. "Marshall, you and Stan will work together for the first two to three months to show him what's changed since he's been gone – especially the increase of witnesses due to the Denver office closing. Plans are to make Delia Stan's assistant and help him route the extra witnesses to other places in the western US. That would leave Marshall, Mary, and Jack to handle the other witnesses in and out of Albuquerque."

"So the three of us will be working on our own?" Mary interrupted, her eyes sparkling.

"Most of the time, but for witness pick ups, trial transports, and other operations you will of course need a partner. Sometimes you and Marshall will work together, or it may be you and Jack, or Marshall and Jack – it just all depends on the situation. And Delia can always be pulled as needed. Frankly, I'm excited to see how Stan will coordinate his new team."

"And I'm excited to be home," Stan nodded.

"But a last word of caution to the lovebirds," Eleanor spoke softly. "Keep your private lives private and at home. Stay professional at work and put your witnesses first."

Mary bristled as my hand tightened in hers. "We have always-"

Eleanor held up a hand. "I'm not saying you haven't – I'm just warning you that for the first year or so of your marriage, every little thing you do and say in the office and with witnesses will be put under the microscope. So if you want to keep your jobs and stay together – toe the line."

I spoke before Mary could, though I could feel her simmering next to me. "Thanks for the warning, Eleanor. We'll do our best."

Eleanor glanced between us, opened her mouth to say something more, but then thought better of it. She turned to Stan. "Walk me out?"

He nodded and together they left the fish bowl.

The door had barely swung shut behind them before Mary exploded, ripping her hand from mine and getting up to pace. "'Toe the line?' Was she serious? Marshall, when have you and I ever NOT followed the rules when it came to our job?"

I levelled a look at her and waited until she wilted under it.

"Well, all right, so we've stepped up TO the line a few times-"

I barked a laugh. "Mer- we've done more than that and you know it! Do I need to jog your memory? How about the time you told Raph you worked in WitSec? Or the time you slept with-"

"Stop, all right?" she jumped to her feet and began to pace. "Neither of those times had anything to do with you-"

"I beg to differ, love – because when you told Raph, you outed me in the process of outing you!"

"I knew you were still sore about that!"

I took a deep breath before standing and stepping in front of her, cutting off her pacing. "No, I'm not – but you have to admit, it's a damn good example of not toeing the line. We can get pissed off with each other over something at home – something one of the kids does, something one of us does that the other doesn't like – but we can't let it affect work and the witnesses. We can't let them have any ammunition to use against us. Otherwise-"

"We're done as partners," she finished softly. "Any ideas on how we do that?"

"I don't know – we're just going to have to play it by ear and take it one day at a time. You may actually have to learn to let things go and not hold a grudge-"

"Hey! I'm not the only one-"

I held up my hands. "And I'll have to learn not to hold things inside and give you the silent treatment."

She grinned and ran a hand down my chest. "Marriage is going to be interesting."

I groaned. "And here you thought it was going to be dull, didn't you?"

* * *

"I'm not wearing a dress, Mom."

"Not just any dress, Sweet Pea – Brandi's."

The name made me pause in the act of flipping the hamburger. I wondered if there would ever come a day when hearing Mary's little sister's name wouldn't cause a dull ache around my heart. I could still close my eyes and see her sweet smiling face laughing at something Peter had said. What had happened? She had been so close to happiness once and now she was gone-

I started slightly as I felt Mary's arms wrap around my hips and setting down the spatula, I turned to press a kiss against the side of her head. I had noticed that whenever her thoughts turned to Brandi or someone brought up her name, she immediately sought me out to seek comfort in my arms. I didn't mind, in fact I was glad that she felt comfortable enough in the presence of others to take comfort from me.

"I can't," she whispered the words for me alone, "I can't wear Squish's dress."

I nodded, running my hands up and down her back.

"Just think how proud Brandi will be as she looks down from Heaven and sees you wearing her dress on your wedding day," Jinx cooed.

Mary shuddered in my arms and I pulled her closer to me. "Mary doesn't want to wear a dress at all, Jinx," I stated firmly.

Jinx cocked her head. "Don't be silly – surely you want to see her in a dress, Marshall."

I smiled and shook my head. "I'd marry her as she stands."

Jinx gaped at me. "In jean cut-offs and a tank top?"

Mary pulled back to look up at me, smiling through her tears.

"You're beautiful," I whispered, leaning down and capturing her lips.

Jinx sighed and muttered something about men in love being hopeless but I wasn't really listening as I deepened the kiss, enjoying the fact that I could now kiss Mary whenever I wanted.

"Uncle Marshall, why are you kissing Mama?"

Mary pushed me away and both of us turned to see a wide eyed Nora and Georgie staring at us from the patio doorway. I glanced at Mary, who shrugged and nodded.

"Come here, kids, we have something to tell you."

Georgie bounded outside and wrapped his arms around my legs, but Nora remained in the doorway, her eyes cloudy with suspicion.

"Bug? Aren't you going to join us?"

Nora shook her head. "Just tell me."

I swung Georgie up into my arms. "Your mama and I are getting married."

Over Georgie's squeals of delight, I looked back and saw that the patio doorway was empty.

Mary placed a hand on my arm. "I'll go. You need to watch the burgers – I'll burn them."

Georgie helped me finish the burgers, peppering me with questions of when it was going to be and if I was now going to be his daddy for real.

"I don't know when the wedding is going to be, Sport, but I do hope to be your daddy for real-"

Georgie wrapped himself around my legs and sighed. "Me too."

Mary came back outside alone, her face set. "Why does my child have to be so stubborn?"

I shook my head. "I'd answer that but I want to keep my manhood intact, thanks."

She shot me a dark glare. "She won't unlock the door."

"You could always pick it, you know."

"I want my child to still speak to me, Marshall."

I gave her quick kiss, handing her the platter of patties. "Here, get started. I'll give it a go."

"You don't have the magic touch with all Shannon women, you know!" she taunted me.

I paused and turned to face her. "You're right – I definitely don't have it with your mother!"

I dodged a hamburger bun as I ran inside.

* * *

"Love bug, open the door."

"NO!"

I bit my cheek. "Are you hungry? I could bring you a burger."

"No, thank you."

"Are you going to stay in there all night?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk to you or Mama."

"Will you talk to Georgie?"

"Is he with you?"

"No, but-"

"I'll open the door to him – but only him!"

"I think we should talk first."

"I said NO!"

"Sweetheart, I just want to know why you're so mad."

"I'm not mad."

"Sad?"

"No."

"Scared?"

No answer.

"Nora, please open the door. You know that I can open it but I don't want to do that. I want you to let me in so we can talk. Please, sweetheart?"

Silence.

"Okay. I hear you loud and clear. I'm going to leave you alone now and-"

The door opened and Nora threw herself against my legs. "Don't go."

I sighed as I knelt in the hallway and she threw her arms around my neck, her tears soaking my shirt collar. "Love bug, what's wrong? I thought you'd be happy your mama and I were getting married. It means we're going to be a family and I'm always going to come home to you and Georgie. What's with the tears?"

The sobs racked her tiny frame and prevented her from answering me so I stood and walked with her in my arms into the room, shutting the door behind us. I sat down on her ruffled bedspread, rocking us back and forth, making soothing sounds in her ear.

"Now," I soothed, as soon as the worst of the storm had passed. "Tell me what's wrong. Are you sad that I'm marrying your mama and not you, hm? Is that it?" I gently pulled on her ponytail.

Nora's nose crinkled. "Ew, no, Uncle Marshall. I haven't wanted to marry you since I was a little kid – since I was four. I'm six now."

"And all grown up," I stated, biting my cheek to keep from smiling. "So what is it?"

"Daddy moved away and has a new family. JoJo missed Georgie's birthday party because she went to see my new baby sister – and I haven't even met Anna yet! And now you and mama are getting married and Georgie will get a new daddy-" she shrugged. "What do I get?"

"Oh, Love bug," I squeezed her. "I know it's hard because everything around you is changing but JoJo won't be gone forever and we'll plan a vacation to go see your baby sister if your dad doesn't bring her to see you – maybe later this summer before you go back to school. Would you like that?"

Nora nodded.

"And when I marry your mama, you're going to get something too – I'll be your stepfather."

Her eyes grew big as she looked at me. "You will?"

"Yep, your Number Two Dad."

"My Number Two Dad," she repeated the words in awe. "Can I call you daddy, like Georgie does?"

I sighed. "You have a daddy, Nora. How do you think he would feel if you started calling me 'daddy' too?"

Nora bit her lip. "Sad." Then her face brightened. "How about Daddy Marshall? Can I call you Daddy Marshall?"

I nodded. "We'll ask your Dad- and if he's OK with it, so am I."

She squealed and threw her arms around my neck. "I love you, Daddy Marshall."

"I love you more."

* * *

_A/N: If I haven't said it before, I love writing Nora and Marshall scenes - Marshall as a father is SO sweet. But there is trouble brewing on the horizon. . . . Stay tuned and remember - Reviews are LOVE!_


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: This chapter is foreshadowing and build-up to what's coming next - and I could have not added this last hurdle for our couple. I blame my Mary muse entirely, who is still cackling like a crazy person in my head. . . ._

* * *

**Sunshine Building**

**Six Weeks Later**

"I think that about wraps things up," Stan declared as he straightened up from the desk, stretching his arms over his head. "You're a better bookkeeper than I ever was, Marshall. Eleanor gave us three months for a changeover and we're going to manage it in less than two."

I grinned. "Good thing, since I'm getting hitched on Saturday."

Stan chuckled. "How's Mary doing with all the preparations?"

I collapsed in a chair and resisted the urge to groan. "Jinx is driving her crazy. I understand better now how Brandi's wedding grew from the small event she wanted to the grandiose affair it became – and why she ran away from it all."

Stan frowned. "I thought the two of you were getting married in the backyard and having a simple BBQ supper afterwards – at least, that's what my invitation said."

"That's still the plan, but Jinx has been pushing and pushing all along with little details to make it more fancy and elegant-"

"Those two words don't really describe Mary."

"No." I sighed. "I think Jinx is overcompensating for the wedding she didn't get with Brandi and the fact that Mary is now her only daughter. She's become very clingy with her and the kids – I don't know what to do or say to help her, Stan."

"Parents aren't meant to outlive their children, Marshall," Stan sighed. "You and I have seen the grief and pain on our witness' faces when they lose their children too early – Jinx is simply going through the stages of grief. All you can do is love and support her through it. Is she drinking again?"

I shook my head. "No – Mary threatened her that if she touched a drop, she'd cut off all contact to Nora and George. Jinx was very hurt, saying that she was still talking to her sponsor and going to meetings and determined not to repeat the mistakes of the past. I think she's really turned a corner – but perhaps that's just my boundless optimism talking."

"The Shannon family needs a good, strong man with boundless optimism, Son. Don't ever lose it."

We were interrupted by Delia sticking her head into the office, "I'm sorry to interrupt but Stan, the FBI is holding for you on line 1 – something about – well, I don't really remember, sorry."

Stan chuckled. "It's OK, Dee, I've got it."

She turned to me. "And Marshall, your ex-wife is here."

My heart was in my throat as I turned and locked eyes with Abigail through the glass wall. "Did she say what she wants?"

"No, just to talk to you."

"Where's Mary?"

"Out visiting her witnesses."

"Thank God," I muttered under my breath.

"Excuse me," Stan broke in. "I realize that you and I are still sharing this office – but could I have some privacy, please? Get out there and talk to your ex, Marshall. Staring at her and wondering why she's here isn't going to get you any answers."

I gave my boss a sloppy salute and ushered Delia out of the office, taking my time as I approached Abigail. She looked better than the last time I had seen her, the day in Lindy's coffee shop when she had broken down and admitted her part in my being under investigation.

"Abigail."

She looked up when I said her name, and gave me a brief sad smile. "Thanks for seeing me – I didn't know if you would or not. So I took a chance and came here again. I'm sorry for bothering you at work-"

I waved her words away. "What do you want?"

She swallowed. "Can we talk somewhere – privately?" Her eyes slid to the side and I knew without looking that Jack and Delia were listening to every word we said.

I motioned to the doors that led to the balcony and she nodded, heading that way without a backwards glance. Jack grabbed my arm.

"Be careful – remember you're getting married on Saturday."

I grinned. "You don't have any cause for worry. My heart belongs to Mary, it always has."

"I'm not worried about you – it's your ex and her agenda that I'm concerned about."

"I don't think she'll hurt me now."

Jack shook his head. "Don't be stupid – she's still in love with you. A woman scorned-"

I laughed. "Jack, it's fine. Really. But if I'm still out there when Mary gets back-"

Jack nodded. "Understood."

* * *

Abigail's back was to me, looking out over downtown when I came onto the balcony and shut the door. Her head moved slightly at the sound but she didn't turn around and it wasn't until I joined her at the railing that her eyes slid sideways to look at me.

"So you're getting married on Saturday."

"Yes."

"I told you that you underestimated your powers of persuasion."

Anger blazed through me. "Why are you here, Abby? I thought we said everything that needed to be said the last time we met. If there's something you left out, I'd really rather not know. I don't think I can take any more. My life is finally calming down-"

"Yes, you're finally getting everything you've always wanted – Mary, a family-" Abigail choked on the words and bowed her head.

I blew air through my lips and silently counted to ten, letting the anger go. "I don't want you to keep torturing yourself like this. Maybe it would be for the best if you transferred-"

"I already have. I've accepted a position with the LAPD. I leave Friday."

I turned to face her and tried to put as much warmth into my words as possible since I didn't think touching her at this point would be a good idea. "That's great news! I think a change of scenery will be good for you, help you to-" I broke off uneasily as her eyes locked on mine, the hurt and pain taking my breath away.

"Help me to what? Move on? Forget you? Stop loving you? Is that what you were going to say?"

I dropped my head. "I'm sorry, Abby. I didn't mean to presume – I'm sure you're doing fine on your own."

She laughed hollowly. "Fine! Yes, I suppose I am doing fine – but I'm sick of doing fine. I want to be better than fine. I want to take a breath without the pain of having you beside me making it difficult to breathe. I want to wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night without reaching for you next to me – and instead crying myself to sleep because you're not there."

"Abigail-" I breathed her name on a sigh. "I never meant to-"

She held up her hands in surrender. "I know. I know. But there are days where I wish to God you never married me, Marshall Mann, because then at least I wouldn't know what I was missing. I wouldn't know-"

"Enough!" Mary's voice cracked between us, breaking the emotional grip Abigail had me in.

Abigail gasped and backed up a step as my head swiveled to meet the blazing eyes of my fiancée as she slowly stalked towards us.

"Back away from my fiancé, bitch. You may have had him first but you were stupid enough to let him go and he's mine now."

"This is all your fault!" Abigail snarled.

Mary laughed. "You honestly believe that, don't you? You don't hold yourself accountable for any of your own actions that led to the wreck of your marriage? The slurs you cast upon an innocent child or the ultimatum you gave to Marshall that he break off his friendship with me or lose you?"

"If you weren't in the picture, we would still be together!"

Mary tilted her head to the side. "Perhaps, but I really think that Doofus is smarter than that – he would have seen your true colors sooner or later. The fact is: you're a manipulative, controlling bitch who was jealous of anyone who took Marshall's time and attention away from you."

Abigail snorted. "That's the pot calling the kettle black!"

Mary tapped her chin in thought. "Hm, controlling? At times, yes. Manipulative – I don't know. Am I manipulative, Marshall?"

I grinned. "You only use that power for good, not evil."

Mary smiled. "Good boy. Now, where was I? Oh yes, answering your accusations that we're alike. I don't deny that I'm a bitch – that's a title I own proudly. But the main difference between you and I is that Marshall and I are partners – I trust him and he trusts me. I know that he would never hurt me, deceive me, or cheat on me."

"You see? That's why he and I never had a chance – because he already had a life partner!" Abigail shrieked. "You were always there between us."

Mary nodded her head slowly. "I guess I was – and for that, and only that, I apologize. I should have told Marshall how I felt sooner. So many things could have been prevented – but that's all water under the bridge now."

I grinned. "But we can be the-"

"No, Doofus!" Mary held up her hand. "Don't give me any of your 'be the river' crap – not now, OK?"

I pouted but held my tongue. Instead I snagged her upraised hand and pulled her into my side, turning my head to stare at my ex with pity. "We're done here."

Abigail crumbled. "But I-"

"No. We're – done – here."

The silence stretched between the three of us until Abigail left. As soon as we were alone, I pulled Mary into a deep, bruising kiss that had her whimpering in my arms in seconds.

"I love you," I panted against her lips when I pulled away.

She grinned. "So you don't mind that I stormed out here and essentially peed all around you, marking you as mine like some feral wildcat?"

"Are you kidding? I loved it," I pecked her lips again before pulling away. "You can control me like that anytime."

She rolled her eyes. "Behave, babe. We're still at work and we have to toe the line, remember?"

"I think we still have a little leeway since I'm not an Inspector yet."

"Hm – so this is just sexual harassment, then?"

My mouth dropped open and I saw the teasing light in her eyes. "Wait 'til I get you home."

"That's an empty threat," she snorted. "I can't believe the number of times we've been interrupted. Might as well wait for our wedding night now."

"Why, Miss Shannon – are you saying you want to wait?"

"No, I don't want to!" she growled. "But since our wedding is in three days and the likelihood of the kids and my mother leaving us alone in the next seventy two hours for me to have my way with you-"

I groaned. "Waiting it is – I'll make it worth your while, Mer."

Jack stuck his head out the door. "Break it up, lovebirds. Stan is off the phone and just bellowed for both of you."

I sighed. "Back to work."

* * *

We'd just settled in to watch a movie on Netflix after the kids were asleep when there was a knock on the front door. Oscar gave one short bark and jumped off the couch, knocking the bowl of popcorn to the floor.

"You didn't really want any popcorn, right?"

Mary laughed and leaned in to kiss me as the doorbell rang. "Go see who it is and I'll make some more."

Oscar beat me to the door and I grabbed his collar to prevent him from jumping up on whoever was on the other side in excitement. "Who is it?" I asked.

"Marshall, it's Mark – open up."

I unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door to see Mark standing on our doorstep, holding a sleeping Anna in her car seat. "Mark! What's happened – you look like hell."

"She left me. Sequoia left me."

Mark seemed to be in a state of semi-shock so I reached out with my free hand and took Anna. "Come inside, Mark. Mary and I were just about to watch a movie – you can join us. Do you have Anna's bag with you?"

For several moments my words didn't register but then Mark shook himself. "It's still in the car – I'll get it." He turned and went back down the sidewalk to the car.

I shook my head and shut the door softly, lifting the car seat up to my face. "Hi, Angel. What's going on with your mama and papa, hm?"

Anna didn't answer or stir, she just kept sucking her pacifier in sleep. I walked slowly back to the living room with a prancing Oscar at my heels.

Mary met us by the couch, her eyebrows high on her forehead. "Anna?"

I nodded. "Mark's getting her diaper bag from the car."

She sighed and set the refilled popcorn bowl down on the table. "What's happened?"

"Sequoia left him."

"What?" she gasped, her legs collapsing under her.

I nodded as I placed the car seat on the table so we could see Anna. "I don't know any more-"

The front door opened and closed, and Mark appeared in the living room, his eyes blank and staring, the diaper bag slung over one shoulder.

I reached out and took the bag. "Thanks, Mark. I'll put the bottles in the fridge. That is – do you have any made up?"

No response.

Mary frowned at me before standing and crossing over to stand in front of her ex. "Mark? Mark!"

Her sharp tone penetrated his fog and Mark's eyes focused on her face. "Oh Mary, she left me."

"Sequoia?"

Mark nodded.

"Sit down and tell us what happened."

Mark collapsed in the oversized easy chair. "I came home from work and there was a note saying I'd ruined her life and career and she wasn't going to stay and be married to some two bit handyman and raise his brat." Mark swallowed.

"Well, that's a little harsh," Mary muttered.

I nudged her knee with mine.

"Well, it is! He's not a handyman – he's – he's – what exactly are you? You install solar panels, I know, but does that come with a job title?"

"Mary, that is so not the point right now," I whispered urgently. "Look at the man, he's devastated."

"Right, sorry," she whispered back to me before turning to Mark. "Did the note say anything else?"

Mark shivered. "Just for me not to use my ex-wife and her little boyfriend to try and find her. She doesn't want to see me or Anna ever again," Mark's voice cracked and a tear escaped his eye.

Anna stirred in her car seat and began to fuss. Mary grabbed the diaper bag. "I'll take care of my – of Anna." She shot me a look as she left the room that clearly told me to do something.

"Mark, what happened between the two of you? When we visited you guys in August, you both seemed happy-"

"Yeah, well, that was a front – a show. Sequoia didn't like for outsiders to know how miserable she was."

"Outsiders?" I repeated the word. "Man, we're family."

Mark shrugged "Sequoia never liked Mary or Nora and by extension, you."

_Then what did you see in her? _I bit my tongue to keep the thought from coming out. "How did you guys meet? What did Sequoia do for a living?"

Mark flushed. "We met one weekend in Vegas – at a fashion show."

"You don't go to fashion shows," Mary interjected as she reentered the room with Anna cradled in her arms. Anna was sucking furiously on a bottle and Mary was rocking her gently.

The flush deepened. "I go to – um- you know."

Understanding flooded me. "Sequoia was a lingerie model."

Mark nodded and Mary snorted. "Really? An underwear model?"

"She was a Victoria Secret model, Mary! Not just an underwear model!"

Mary rolled her eyes. "Oh, well, if you put it that way. And it's no wonder she blamed you for ruining her career. Those stretch marks don't come out, Mark."

I glared at her and she bit her lip and turned her back to us, clearly not wanting to hear anymore as she went down the hall to our room.

"Do you think she'd try to get her old job back?"

He shook his head "Mary's right, Marshall. Stretch marks don't disappear, though Sequoia used every cream she could get her hands on that promised to make them go away. And when they didn't work, she screamed and cried and blamed me and Anna for ruining her body."

"I'm sorry, Mark."

He shrugged. "I guess it wasn't love, at least not for her."

"Do you want to find her?"

"I don't know – right now I'm so blindsided that I can hardly think. I'm sorry that I've crashed in on you days before your wedding. Tomorrow I'll head over to my mom's-"

I waved his words away. "It's fine, Mark. You're family – your other daughter is here and she will be so excited to see you and her baby sister in the morning no matter what the reason is. I'm afraid we don't have a spare bed for you, though."

He shrugged. "The couch is fine. But what about Anna?"

"She can sleep in her car seat – either out here with you or in our room with Mary and me. I have a feeling that Mary is enjoying taking care of a baby, though she won't admit it out loud."

Mark chuckled. "How well you know her."

I clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Try and get some sleep. Being a single dad takes a lot of energy."

Mark groaned. "Why do you think I came here?"

I sobered. "We'll help you, Mark, but this is your mess and Anna is your responsibility. She's your daughter and you're her father."

"What are you trying to say, Marshall?" Mark's voice had an edge.

"Mary and I have two children to raise and aren't looking for a third – not with our busy work schedules. I hope you aren't looking to dump Anna on us-"

"I would never do that! How could you even think that?"

"Because you did it with Nora."

"You're out of line, Marshall."

"Am I? In three days, I'm going to be her stepfather, so I don't think I'm out of line at all. Like I said, Mary and I will help you but we're not looking to raise another of your children – that's your job."

* * *

I shut the door softly and stood staring at one of the most beautiful sights in the world: my soon to be wife cradling Anna in her arms, humming softly under her breath, rocking slowly back and forth as she sat propped up in our bed.

"Don't wake her – she just fell back to sleep," Mary whispered.

I set the car seat on the end of the bed and watched as Mary moved slowly to set Anna inside, swaddling her in the blanket that JoJo had knitted for her. Mary set the seat on the floor by our bed and moved into my arms, and together we simply watched Anna sleep for a long time without speaking.

"She doesn't look very much like Nora."

I smiled. "No, I see quite a bit of Sequoia in her."

"Poor girl – to have an underwear model for a mother."

I turned my head and kissed a trail from her temple to her earlobe, capturing it in my teeth. "Poor girl, to have an actress blackout drunk for a mother."

Mary sighed and leaned into my touch. "Touché. I guess no one gets to pick their parents, do they?"

I rumbled my agreement against her skin, my lips continuing their journey south to the dip between her collarbones. She gasped as I licked her skin there.

"Marshall – we have a baby in the room."

"Hmm."

"And my ex-husband is sleeping on the couch."

"Mmm, yes."

"And we said we were going to wait."

"Mm."

She grabbed the scruff of my neck and pulled my head up so our eyes locked. "Then what the hell are you doing?"

"Loving you."

I rubbed our noses together, leaning down to kiss her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, and finally her open mouth. Our tongues tangled together and her hands left my neck to tangle in my hair that was finally starting to grow back out from the buzz cut. Her nails scraped my scalp and I arched into her, groaning as our hips and other parts collided, feeling at once familiar like a long ago dream and at the same time a brand new sensation.

I shuddered as I forced myself to pull away. "We have to stop – before I can't."

She ran a hand down the side of my face. "Do you think it will be-" she bit the words off.

"What?" I encouraged her.

She shrugged. "It's just that you've been waiting for this for years – and what if it's not – what if I'm not –"

"Hush." I cupped her face, rubbing my thumbs over her cheekbones. "The only expectations I have is that you love me, Mer, and you let yourself go. Do those two things and it will be magic."

She rolled her eyes. "I wish I had half your confidence. Part of me feels like I am that virgin waiting for her wedding night-"

"You're no virgin, Mary."

"Yes and no. Yes, I've had sex before, even made love, but never-" she swallowed and I waited to see if she would finally say the words. "But never with someone I'm in love with."

"Mary," I breathed her name on a sigh.

She threaded her fingers through my short hair, trembling in my arms. "I've never been in love before you, Marshall, so it took me a very long time to realize what this emotion was – and when I did, it scared the crap out of me. And I can't believe you were willing to marry me without me saying I love you-"

My lips covered hers taking the rest of whatever she was going to say, taking her breath and mine away as I pulled her body down on top of mine and I swear if there hadn't been a baby in the room, or Mark on the couch in the next, I would have made love to her over and over right then and there. But I managed to hold on to the slightest thread of restraint I had left and pulled us back from the brink again, though Mary looked pissed that I had stopped.

"I'm sorry, love, but we're far from alone and we did say we'd wait, remember?"

Anna stirred in her car seat and Mary groaned, her chin dropping to my chest. "You are testing my patience."

I grinned. "Now you know how I felt all these years-"

She slapped my chest and climbed off me, pulling a light blanket over her. "You better get some rest, because in three days, you're all mine – and you're not going to be sleeping."

I leaned over her, my breath tickling the skin of her neck. "Is that a threat?"

She turned her head to look up at me, her eyes shining. "No, a promise."

* * *

_A/N: Was Mary's confession of love worth waiting for? As many times as I've written that scene - it still melt my heart every time. Up next, a surprise visitor drops by the office with some disturbing news for Marshall. Will the wedding happen as planned? Reviews are LOVE!_


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: Here we go - one last obstacle for our couple before the end. Fasten your seat belts. . . ._

* * *

_**It must have been love, but it's over now.**_

_**It must have been good, but I lost it somehow.**_

_**-Roxette**_

* * *

**72 Hours Later**

"That's the last of it, Chief," I announced, as I picked up the box and set it on my shoulders. "Oh, I nearly forgot this." I snagged the multi-photo frame from the corner of the desk and smiled at the images.

"Wait – couldn't you leave that?"

I grinned wider. "Stan, after tomorrow you're going to have even cuter and more current pics of your grandkids than these – remember?"

He smiled back at me. "I guess you're right. I've just enjoyed sharing them with you the past two months."

"Well, bring your camera tomorrow and-"

"I hope I'm not interrupting-"

Both of us turned to see Dr. Shelley Finkel standing in the open doorway, backlit by the late afternoon sunshine streaming in the office windows.

"Hey, Doc, what's up?" Stan joked and I rolled my eyes as I set the box back down on the desk.

"I need to speak to you, Marshall. In private."

Stan frowned at the seriousness in the doctor's voice. "Perhaps I should stay."

"I'm afraid I must insist – I'm already breaking doctor-patient confidentiality in coming here but I didn't see another way. Marshall, please."

I set the box back on the desk and motioned towards the fish bowl. "Let's go to the conference room-"

"No, no, no," Stan protested. "You both stay here – this is your office until you get back from your honeymoon, Marshall. I'll go find something to do for a bit – but I'll be within earshot, just in case."

I nodded as he left and waited until the two of us were alone. "What's this about, Shelley? I hope something that can be resolved quickly because I'm getting married in less than twenty-four hours-"

"That's why I'm here, Marshall. I want to make sure you are married in twenty-four hours."

I sank into the desk chair. "I think you'd better explain yourself."

Shelley wet her lips once, twice before speaking again. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but I've been your ex-wife's therapist since you served her divorce papers."

I shook my head. "No, I had no idea – I mean, sure I knew she was seeing someone but – isn't that a conflict of interest? I mean, you work for the department and since she's no longer married to me-"

"It is a sticky situation, yes. One I've never encountered before in my professional career. I suggested when she first came to me that it would be best if she saw another therapist but she argued that she wouldn't be able to talk about all the mitigating factors that led to your divorce and the secretive nature of both of your jobs with an outsider. In the end, I came around to her point of view."

"I suppose I can understand that – but why are you here, now?"

"Did she come to see you this week?"

I nodded. "Wednesday."

"If I may ask, strictly as a therapist, how did she seem? What did she say?"

I shifted a little in my seat, trying to get comfortable even as the questions made me uncomfortable. "At first, I thought she seemed to be a little better than the last time I saw her-"

"Which was when?"

"Oh, nearly two months ago over lunch at Lindy's. Did she tell you about that conversation?"

"Yes – she was afraid she had ruined your career."

"I'll admit she put me in some hot water, but she didn't ruin me. Everything turned out OK."

"And did you tell her that?"

"Not in so many words, but she could see for herself that I'm happy."

"And how did she react to your happiness?"

"That's when things started to go sideways – she became emotional, telling me how much she still missed me and how everything still hurt and she wanted to be better than fine – and then Mary interrupted her."

Shelley's right eyebrow rose. "How did that go?"

"How do you think? Mary went on the offensive – told her to back off, that I was hers now, and Abigail went on the defensive."

"What did Abigail say?"

"She said we never had a chance because Mary was always there."

Shelley leaned forward. "Did she say the two of you would have been happy if not for Mary?"

I frowned. "Maybe? I really don't remember. I'm afraid that once Mary arrived, my focus shifted to her rather than Abby-"

"And she would have seen that too-" Shelley muttered under her breath. "What if I'm wrong? What if she hasn't crossed that line?"

I shot to my feet. "What line? Ok, Doc, I've been forthcoming with you, it's time for you to be the same with me. What the fuck is going on?"

Stan poked his head inside. "I heard shouting – everything all right in here?"

I levelled a glare at Shelley. "Is it?"

The woman bit her lip and then gave a sharp nod of decision. "Come in, Stan. You might as well hear this so I don't have to repeat myself."

Stan sat down on the couch. "Well? Is this about your crazy ex-wife, Marshall?"

I clenched my jaw. "Abigail is not crazy."

"Actually, she is," Shelley stated and my mouth fell open. "Well, I prefer the term unbalanced but-" She paused to clear her throat. "Look, I can't say too much here, but your ex-wife is obsessed with you and that line I was talking about is the line we all can cross from love to hate with the objects of our obsession. Abigail has a history of becoming overly possessive with the men in her life, but it has never escalated to this state before."

"Hey, you're special," Stan announced.

"Not helping," I muttered. "But when she was here on Wednesday she talked about moving on to LA – that she had a job-"

Shelley shook her dark head. "There is no job, Marshall. Abigail has been on suspension from the APD ever since word of your engagement to Mary has gone public."

"What?" I gasped. "Why?"

"She started showing up late to work, hung over, and unable to do her job – and those were the days she showed up at all. Most days she wouldn't even call in – her captain didn't have a choice. I've been seeing her three times a week, working with her intensely and trying to get her to form new relationships and social connections and until this week I thought I was starting to make some progress-"

"What happened this week?"

"She cancelled Wednesday and Friday's appointments. I wasn't too worried when she cancelled Wednesday but when she didn't show up today and your wedding is tomorrow- have you heard from her?"

I shook my head. "Perhaps she just went out of town to clear her head."

Shelley's troubled gaze met mine. "I didn't tell you about the message she left me."

"What message?" Stan interrupted.

"She left a voicemail cancelling today's appointment and she just sounded – off. Told me not to worry about her, that everything would be over one way or another by Monday."

"Marshall, I don't like the sound of that," Stan frowned at me.

I shook my head. "Let's just take a minute and breathe, all right? This is Abigail Chaffee Mann, the woman that I was married to for three years – I just can't believe that she'd go off the deep end and do something crazy like – like- oh hell, I can't even say the words!"

Shelley sighed. "I know you can't and I want to believe she's not capable of it either, Marshall, but I know her history and I tell you she's escalating. I'm not saying she's capable of killing – I don't know about that. But she is capable of violence and she hates Mary. She hates Mary as much as she is obsessed with you."

_Oh God. I can't lose Mary now. Not now that I know she loves me the way I love her. _

I ran over to the door, jerking it open. "Jack!"

The man looked up from his computer. "Yeah, boss?"

"Where's Mary?"

"I dunno. She got a call a couple hours ago and rushed out – I assumed it was one of her witnesses."

I swallowed. "Do me a favor and call her? If there's no answer, ping her cell."

Jack was already dialing but his eyes were full of questions as I ducked back inside. "Mary left right after she got a call – you haven't heard from Abigail today?"

Shelley frowned. "I've held nothing back, Marshall – not about that. I'm just as concerned about Mary as you are-"

"Somehow I doubt that."

Jack poked his head inside. "Mary's cell went straight to voicemail so I pinged it – shows up at Lindy's coffee shop. I already called and talked to Lindy and she says she hasn't seen Mary today but she went and looked outside and Mary's car is on the street."

"Let's go take a look." I grabbed my ID and gun from the desktop.

"Someone please tell me what the hell is going on!" Jack yelled.

"Marshall's crazy ex-wife has Mary!" Stan shouted over his shoulder.

* * *

The sight of blood on the headrest of the driver's seat in Mary's car was enough to get APD involved and soon Abigail's captain was there in person, promising me that if Detective Chaffee was involved in any way, shape, or form, she would pay.

"Thank you, Captain Daniels. I just want my fiancée back in one piece so we can get married tomorrow."

"Of course, Inspector. And I want you to know that I've put every available person on this case- we'll find Inspector Shannon."

I nodded and watched as Mary's car was towed to APD to see if their forensics lab could find anything more but I wasn't hopeful. Abigail was a homicide detective and if there was anyone who knew how to beat the system and not leave any clues behind for them to find, it was her.

Jack came jogging up, his face set in a hard mask. "Bad news, boss. The surveillance cameras across the street haven't worked in over a month – the company's ordered new ones but there's been some hang up and the bottom line is, there's no footage for the front of Lindy's."

I let loose with a string of curse words that would have made Mary proud. Jack waited until I was finished before adding, "But I'm checking with all the cameras in the adjacent blocks for any sightings that match Abigail's car."

I snorted. "It's a good plan, Jack, but Abby's smarter than that. She'll have rented a car."

"OK, so I'll start checking car rentals."

"She wouldn't have used her real name."

Jack clapped me on the shoulder. "That's where you come in – you lived with the woman for three years – what name would she use?"

* * *

I blinked, trying to get my tired and overworked eyes to focus on the printed words in front of me. But it was no use. After five hours of pouring over sheet after sheet of names my eyes were finally telling me that enough was enough and I needed to try and rest for a few minutes.

When I had come home without Mary, Jinx had been full of questions that she barely held in until we had gotten the kids to bed for the night. Nora and Georgie were so excited for tomorrow and both of them insisted that they weren't sleepy so it was almost comical how quickly they fell asleep. I envied them their innocence and their ability to sleep without nightmares.

Jinx pumped me for all the details as soon as their bedroom door shut and I muffled her sobs against my shoulder, as I tried to reassure her that she was not going to lose her sole remaining daughter.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured. "This is all my-"

She reared back and gripped my shoulders. "You stop that right now! I'll not have you blame yourself for your crazy ex-wife! And Mary would tell you the same thing if she was here! Now, we need to try and get a little sleep because I know a break is going to come and you're going to find her because you two are going to get married tomorrow."

"Jinx-" I whispered.

She held up her hand. "Ah – I don't want to hear it. You love my daughter, don't you?"

"You know I do."

"And she loves you. I never thought she'd let love in – not after everything she's been through. Don't give up on her, Marshall."

"Never."

Now as I undressed and lay on our bed in the dark, I stretched out my hand and felt nothing but empty air where Mary was supposed to be. The sob caught in my throat and my eyes fell shut as I tried to hold back the tears.

"Daddy?"

I gathered my emotions before I opened my eyes to see Nora standing by the side of the bed, clutching Biscuit. "What are you doing up, Love Bug?"

She shrugged. "I heard you. You said mama's name and I thought-"

I opened my arms and she climbed onto the bed, snuggling into my side. "She's not home yet."

"The bad people have her, don't they?"

I sighed, my exhale of air ruffling her hair. "Nora, sometimes in our job-"

"It's OK, Daddy. Mama told me that you can't talk about work."

"No, sweetie, that's not what I was going to say."

She looked up at me, her eyes so like Mary's, but still with a child-like innocence that melted my heart. "It's not?"

"I was going to say that in our job bad things happen. But sometimes, bad things happen that have nothing to do with the job."

"Huh? I don't get it."

I chuckled. "Just know that no matter what happens, no matter who has your mama – I will get her back. I will bring her home."

She snuggled into me. "I know."

* * *

"Some wedding day this turned out to be."

"Hush." I handed Jinx another cup of coffee. "How'd you sleep?"

"I didn't. Every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing Brandi and Mary as little girls and then the image would change to – something else-" she took a big swig of the dark brew. "Please tell me you've heard something."

I shook my head. "No. I haven't heard anything from Captain Daniels and I need to get back to pouring over those car rental reports-"

"Um, you mean the papers Oscar is currently having for breakfast?"

"What? Damn it, OSCAR!"

The mutt scuttled under the couch, taking his gnawed treasure with him.

"Daddy, you scared him!" Nora scolded me. "It's OK, Oscar. He didn't mean it."

"The hell I didn't," I growled.

"Marshall, stop this," Jinx pleaded. "You're scaring the children and the papers are gone. Why don't you go for a run or-"

The sound of my cell phone cut through the tense atmosphere and I dove for it, barely registering the fact that it was an unknown number. "Hello?"

"Marshall, I just heard. How are you holding up?"

"Abigail?"

"Yes, it's me. Poor dear, you must be just devastated-"

I slipped outside, making sure the door was shut behind me. "Where is she?"

"Who?"

"You know perfectly well who – Mary!"

Abigail laughed. "Why do you think I know where she is?"

"Because you called and asked her to meet you at Lindy's."

"Why would I do that? After the way she ripped into me the other day, I'm not eager for a rematch."

"So you're really just calling to console me?"

"Of course."

"Then how did you hear that Mary was missing?"

"From work, silly."

"But you're not working. You're on suspension – something you neglected to tell me the other day."

"Who told you?" Abigail's voice was low.

"About the suspension? Your therapist stopped by the office yesterday. She's concerned because you've cancelled on her twice now. She wants to know if you're OK. Are you OK, Abigail?"

"You can tell Shelley I'm just fine. But we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. How are you doing without your precious Mary?"

_Careful, Mann. She's testing you. _"I miss her, of course, but I have faith that she'll be home soon."

"Oh, what makes you think that?"

"Because you'd never hurt me and if anything were to happen to Mary, I can tell you I'd be very hurt indeed."

"I'm telling you I don't know where she is!"

"I don't think that's true, is it, Abby?"

"Do you remember where we first met, Sugar Bug?"

The subject change had my head reeling. "Yes, at a gun show in Santa Fe."

"We went out to dinner afterwards and talked for hours – the restaurant had to kick us out because they were closing – I felt like I had been looking for you my whole life – do you remember?"

I sighed. "Yes, I remember. But that's not-"

"No, no, no! No Buts! That afternoon and evening was special and magical and nothing and no one can take it away from me – not even your precious Mary Shannon and her brood. Can you tell me how something that started with such promise ended with such –" Abigail's voice broke and I could hear her sobbing.

"Abby, don't do this to yourself. I want you to be happy and to move on from this, truly."

"And I just want to be happy with you."

"I'm afraid that's not possible."

"And I say it is. Once Mary's no longer in the picture." _Click._

"ABIGAIL!"

* * *

_A/N: Breathe, everyone. Mary is Marshall's endgame, remember? So hit that little button and tell me what you think. Reviews are LOVE!_


	21. Chapter 21

I slammed my hands on the table in frustration. "So you're telling me we've got nothing? No leads? Abigail is going to kill Mary-"

Shelley broke in, her voice annoyingly calm. "She's not going to kill her."

I snorted. "Forgive me, doctor, but there's no way you can know that. You didn't hear her on the phone a little while ago – she's teetering on the edge of sanity. I'm finally ready to admit that Abigail isn't in her right state of mind."

Stan rolled his eyes. "If she ever was-"

"Gentlemen, please, this isn't getting us anywhere. Marshall, I know this is upsetting but I need you to focus – what exactly did Abigail say? Were there any clues-"

I swore. "Clues? She wouldn't even admit that she knew where Mary was – and we all know that's a lie."

"Let's go over it again," Shelley soothed. "What did she say?"

I blew out a breath for patience. "She said she had heard that Mary was missing and she was calling to see how I was. When I turned the tables and I asked what she knew about it, she laughed it off and then-" I frowned.

"And then?" Shelley prodded.

I shrugged. "I don't know – she was off, like you said yesterday. First she tried to be sympathetic, and then she was defensive when I confronted her, and then she completely changed the subject."

"To what?"

"She asked if I remembered how we met."

Shelley tapped her nails on the kitchen table in thought "Interesting – do you?"

I looked at her in surprise. "Of course I do – we met at a gun show in Santa Fe and went to a steakhouse for dinner afterwards. The staff had to kick us out because we were having such a good time talking and they wanted to close the place up."

"So that's when your relationship started?"

I shook my head. "Actually, no. I didn't see or hear from her again for a couple months. She turned up at one of my witness' houses in response to a call from a neighbor about domestic disturbance – it was then that I discovered she had moved to Albuquerque and was with the APD. She asked me out and since I had nothing to lose at that point, I accepted."

"Can I ask a personal question?"

I grimaced. "All your questions have been personal, Shelley – but go ahead. I just hope they'll lead somewhere."

"Where was Mary during this time?"

I exchanged a look with Stan before answering. "This was during our rocky period. Mary took a three month vacation to Mexico with an FBI agent – but not before I told her how-" I cleared my throat. "Anyway, when she came back, I took an extended vacation of my own, to clear my head and see if our partnership could be salvaged. It was on the way back home, that I stopped off in Santa Fe for the gun show and I met Abigail."

"And you never mentioned her to Mary?"

"No, not at the time. I was still in the process of licking my wounds and it had been nice to spend the day with a young woman who had had eyes only for me." I shrugged.

"And it never occurred to you when Abigail showed up in Albuquerque two months later that she had followed you?"

"Oh God," I whispered, sinking into a chair as my legs collapsed under me. "Is that true?"

Shelley nodded. "I'm afraid so. She was fixated on you from the beginning."

I ran a hand through my hair. "I never – she seemed so – you're sure? I thought she loved me."

Shelley reached out and touched my shoulder. "She did, in her own twisted way. Are you OK?"

I grunted. "I'm not sure. You've just told me that the woman I was involved with for five years, and married to for three – is obsessed with me – that it was never love in the first place. We've got to find Mary. You may be confident that she won't kill her, but I'm not. The last thing she said to me was that we could be happy if Mary wasn't in the picture anymore."

Shelley paled. "That's – well, that's not good. All right, is there any significance about Monday? In the voicemail Abigail left me, she said everything would be over by Monday. Does that mean anything to you?"

I shook my head. "I've been wondering about that too. I mean, today was supposed to be our wedding – so it would have made more sense if she said Sunday, because she's obviously stopped the ceremony."

"Yeah, but not for good," Stan broke in. "She knows that as soon as you find Mary, you'll get married. So what's the significance of Monday?"

"The only thing I can think of is she's planning to kill Mary Sunday night – which means the clock is ticking to find her."

"Don't think like that, Son."

"I can't help it, Stan – you didn't hear her on the phone-"

Shelley shook her head. "I still don't think she will kill Mary – she wouldn't be able to face you afterwards, knowing that she killed the woman you loved-"

"Why would she care?" I snorted.

"Because you're the object of her obsession and even though she hates Mary and took her out of the way to stop-" Shelley's words ground to a halt.

"What? What is it?" I demanded. "What did you just think of?"

"That perhaps you're right – maybe she's arranged for Mary's demise somehow and has managed to keep herself from actually pulling the trigger," Shelley nodded her head. "Yes, that's more in line with her-"

"Doc!" I shouted, jarring Shelley out of her thoughts. "Will you stop thinking about Abigail and Mary as clinical studies and start thinking about the fact that there's a homicidal maniac on the loose that's going to kill the woman I love in a little over twenty-four hours?"

Shelley flushed. "I'm sorry, Marshall – but keeping my clinical hat on helps me hold my emotions in check-"

"Bully for you!" I grunted. "You've got to help me figure this out – so far you're the only person who seems to know what makes my ex-wife tick."

"That's only because I've spent the last several months with her – and she's textbook as far as-"

"Doc-"

"Right, sorry."

The doorbell interrupted us and Stan held up his hand. "You two keep talking, I'll answer it."

I swung my gaze back to the Doc. "What's our next move? How on earth do we find out where Abigail's holding Mary?"

"Maybe I can help with that-" Chief Daniels announced as he walked into the kitchen. "I take it you've heard from her?"

I nodded. "A couple of hours ago, but she denied knowing where Mary was."

"I don't think she'll have a leg to stand on, not after we show a judge what we found in her house."

He threw a large packet down on the table and I reached out to sift through the hundreds of photos: me with the kids, me with Mary, me in various stages of dress and undress. In the photos where I was with Mary or the kids, big black X's ran through the images so I was the only one untouched. Anger and fear coursed through me. Abigail had been watching me for weeks, months – hiding in bushes, following me during the day while I was on the job, catching Mary and me in private moments.

"How did you obtain a warrant to search her house? Did you find forensic evidence in Mary's car?"

Daniels nodded. "Detective Chaffee was careful but she made one mistake – lucky for us. Mary's cell was in the trunk and there was a partial print on it that we matched to Abigail. Now, can you think of any reason for Inspector Shannon's cell phone to have Abigail's fingerprint on it?"

"No, I can't." I shook my head. "I know that she was nowhere near it on Wednesday – and as far as I know, that was the last time Mary saw her."

"That partial print and the blood on the headrest were enough to get a search warrant. Your ex-wife had quite the shrine set up to you, Marshall – I haven't seen the like except in suspected stalker homes."

I grimaced. "Did you find anything else? Any clues about where Mary is being held?"

"Nothing like that – but we did find more, yes."

"Well? Let me see it."

Daniels nodded to the table. "It's at the bottom of the pile, Son. You just haven't gotten there yet."

I pushed the photos aside and in a plastic evidence bag I saw one of our wedding invitations, but frowned as I looked closer and saw that Mary's name had been scratched out. Flipping the bag over, I saw a close up photo of Mary's smiling face, with a big black X through it with words underneath: 'Sunday is coming.'

I withheld my horror as I looked at Daniels. "Was this part of her display?"

He shook his head. "No, she had a big wall calendar with days crossed out, as if she was counting down to your wedding. On Friday she had written: 'time's up'."

I felt the bile rise in my throat and got to the sink just in time as the coffee and what little breakfast I had managed to choke down came up. I felt Stan's hand on my back as I wiped my mouth and I could feel myself trembling from head to foot. This was my worst nightmare come to life – and it was all my fault.

"This is NOT your fault," Stan whispered in my ear, and I didn't realize until then that I had spoken the words aloud. "You are not responsible for her actions, Marshall. She's a certifiable nutcase."

"I should have seen-"

"How? I didn't see it – and neither did Mary and she's an expert in detecting crap, remember? We'll get her back."

I nodded and turned to face Daniels and Shelley. "Tell me you've put out a warrant for her arrest."

"Of course – but we have to find her first and she seems to be very good at hiding."

"Maybe she'll call you again," Shelley was trying to be consoling.

I shook my head. "I don't think she'll call until it's too late. Until it's done."

"You honestly think she'll kill her?" Daniels was incredulous.

"She wants me – and she knows Mary has to be out of the picture for that to happen. Desperate people do desperate things, Chief." I shrugged. "I have to figure out where she's holding Mary – that's the only hope we've got."

"Do you think she's got her in Santa Fe – where you first met? Maybe that's why she brought it up-" Shelley suggested but I shook my head again.

"No, I think she was just reminiscing and trying to remind me of how good things were once between us." I snorted. "What a joke! It was all a lie from the beginning-"

"Marshall, if she calls again, please don't attack her. I know you're angry and scared for Mary but Abigail's the one holding all the cards. We need her to talk, to open up a bit and she's not going to do that if you immediately go on the offensive and start-"

"I think I know how to play this one, Doc. I have done hostage negotiations before-"

"Yes, but how many have involved the woman you love?"

I swallowed and remained silent.

"Did you find her journal?" Shelley asked Chief Daniels.

"We took her computer to the lab – it will take a while for the techs to-"

"No," I interrupted him. "Abigail kept an actual pen and paper journal. It had a flower cover and she kept it under her pillow or in the drawer of the nightstand."

Daniels blinked. "We didn't find one in our search but I'll go back and look again for it specifically."

"I'll come with you."

He frowned. "Are you sure? What if she's watching?"

"Then maybe it will force her out of hiding and you can arrest her then and there. If not, I know a few other hiding places. We need her journal – there may be some clues in there to Mary's location."

Daniels nodded. "Let's go."

* * *

Going back to the house that I had shared with Abigail was a strange, out of body experience. I hadn't been there since the day I had told her it was over between us and she had thrown me out, telling me that she was changing the locks behind me. A threat that she must have carried through on as out of curiosity I tried my keys and found they no longer worked. Not that it mattered. The door was blocked off with crime scene tape and there was an APD officer still guarding it. He raised his eyebrows when my key didn't work.

"I was just checking to see if she really did change the locks."

He shrugged and I ducked under the yellow tape as I followed Daniels inside. The interior looked much the same and yet knowing what they had already found, the place gave me the shivers. Once upon a time, when I had bought this house with Abigail, I had envisioned us growing old together here, raising a couple of kids, and later having grandkids in the backyard with Oscar the second or third-

"Marshall, you OK?"

I started at Daniels' voice, realizing that I hadn't moved from the front hallway. "Yeah – just, memories, ghosts of what was and what could have been. I'm lucky to have escaped with my life, Chief."

He clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Let's find that journal so we can find your lady, hm?"

Nodding, I moved through the house, taking note of the remains of the 'shrine' that Abigail had created next to her computer in the kitchen. I saw the black X's on the calendar and shuddered, sending up a silent prayer that I wasn't too late, that Mary was still alive because the alternative was unthinkable.

I entered the bedroom that had once been ours, and froze. A pair of my pajamas lay neatly folded on my side of the bed, ready and waiting for me, as if I was going to be home that night and step into them. I swore and the sound brought Daniels into the room.

"Damn – you sure you want to do this?"

I nodded woodenly and advanced farther into the room. Lifting the pajamas, I was relieved to find nothing underneath. I moved to the pillows and then the nightstand – nothing. Daniels had moved to the closet and he grunted over his shoulder, "There's still quite a few of your clothes here, Mann."

"I know – when I left, I just packed one suitcase. At the time, I assumed she'd throw the rest out. I had no idea she'd-" I gestured to the pajamas on the bed. "Think she wears them?"

"Don't go there. You'll only torture yourself. Find the journal?"

"Not yet." I closed my eyes and pictured Abigail in my mind. I remembered coming home late one night and surprising her as she sat propped in bed, writing. She had jumped and stuffed the journal- "Wait." I crossed to her side of the bed and reached between the mattress and the box spring, pulling out the flowered cover book. "Got it."

Daniels stuck his head out of the closet. "Why don't you go out to the car and flip through it? I'm going to be a few more minutes."

"Find something interesting?"

"Maybe."

I let it go as I left the room and the ghosts behind. My cell rang in my pocket and glancing at the caller ID, I saw that it was blocked. "Hello?"

"Marshall, why are you at the house with Chief Daniels?"

I ducked under the tape, and put the phone against my shoulder. "It's Abigail," I mouthed the words to the officer on the step, waiting until he ducked inside to grab the Chief before lifting the phone back to my mouth. "I'm afraid you're a suspect, Abigail."

There was a pause before she answered. "Did you tell him that I don't know where Mary is?"

"Yes, but I don't think he believes you."

Daniels ran past me, his ear pressed to his walkie talkie.

"Do you believe me, Marshall?"

Every negotiation tactic in the book told me to tell her what she wanted to hear while my heart was screaming the word 'no'. "I want to believe you – but I've seen the pictures, Abby."

"What pictures?"

"The ones you took – the ones that have everyone else's face blacked out but mine."

"That's because you belong to me, Marshall."

I swallowed. "Where's Mary, Abby?"

She giggled. "Who's Mary?" _**Click.**_

With a supreme effort of self-control, I kept myself from hurling my cell against the sidewalk as Daniels came running up to me. "It was too short for an exact trace but she's close – within two miles."

"Great," I ran a hand through my hair. "That's still looking for a needle in a haystack."

"Buck up, Son, at least we know she's still in town. The odds are Mary is too."

"Maybe." I shook the journal and to my surprise a newspaper clipping fell out the back. "What's this?" I picked it up and read the headline: 'Signature Play it again Sam's Bar and Karaoke to be demolished'. A fission of hope went through me. Was this it? Could this possibly be where Mary was being held? In a building that was scheduled for demolition on- my eyes skipped down the clipping – Monday!

I grabbed Daniels' shoulder. "This is where Abigail is holding Mary." I shoved the newspaper clipping in his hand and not waiting for him to read it, I bolted down the sidewalk to his car.

"Wait! Hold on a minute, how can you be so sure?"

"I'm not one hundred percent sure – but why would she have that clipping in her journal? Sam's bar and karaoke was the site of our second date and one of our favorite places to go – I had no idea they were tearing it down. It's in an old warehouse on-"

"I know where it is, Mann – but are you sure?"

"The more I think about it, yes! We had some great times there and by holding Mary in a building scheduled for demolition, Abigail wouldn't be killing her – just leaving her for someone else to finish the job."

"Well, let's go then-"

"No."

"No?"

I shook my head. "I have to do this alone –if she sees you or anyone else from the APD or the Marshal Service or law enforcement, there's no telling what she'll do. She may panic and kill Mary and I can't take that risk."

"We can't send you in there alone – let us at least wire you."

"No – she'll be ready for that too. This is my mess, I have to clean it up."

"This is suicide, Mann. I can't just let you go in there, unarmed and without backup. You have to take someone as your wingman at the very least, an extra set of eyes and ears in case she tries to hurt you or Mary."

"She won't hurt me – I'm the one she wants, remember?"

"All right then, think of your career and the investigation that this is going to kick up. The brass will be so much happier if you have another eyewitness to corroborate your story of events."

"Perhaps you're right. But we're going to do this my way, Chief. No cops, not even outside. If she sees you, she'll panic. Trust me on this."

Daniels sighed. "I still don't like it. But as long as you agree to have some form of backup, we'll do it your way."

* * *

"You don't have to do this, Jack. You can say no."

Jack leveled a glare at me that rivaled Mary's. "We're wasting time. Let's go."

I nodded. "Give me a five minute head start, then follow me in. Quietly."

Jack's lips twitched. "So no brass bands or stomping feet?"

I ignored his weak attempt at humor. "Try to avoid the debris – I had no idea this place had nearly burned to the ground three months ago. It's a pretty open space inside – but hopefully you should be able to find scraps of tables to hide behind-"

"I know what to do, Marshall. You're stalling-"

"I'm just suddenly nervous – I mean, what if she's not in there?"

"What does your gut tell you?"

"That she's there and I'm wasting time."

"So go get your fiancée and I'll take care of your crazy ex if she shows up."

"Thanks, Jack."

I clapped him on the shoulder before I slid out of the dark sedan and walked the two blocks to Sam's bar. I really hadn't had any idea that one of Abigail's and my favorite haunts was no longer in business. Since I was with Mary, it wasn't somewhere I frequented anymore – so how could I have known? Sam's had been extremely popular and I couldn't help but wonder if the fire had been arson and the owner hadn't been insured enough to cover the loss of revenue. Abby and I had spent many happy hours there; it had been amazing that she had been able to get me to loosen up and sing in public when no one else had.

The area was deserted at this time of day, late Saturday afternoon, and I slipped in the side door that was barely hanging onto rusty burnt hinges. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the dim interior, trying not to wince at the acrid stench of smoke and fire that still clung to the atmosphere. When a quick scan of the interior didn't show anything, my heart plummeted.

"What did you expect, Mary tied to a chair in plain sight?" I muttered as I moved further into what had once been the open floor of the bar. "Mary? Mary! Are you here?"

I stood in the center of the bar area, listening. Over my right shoulder was the burnt out shell of the bar, the cracked and smoky glass still hanging on the wall.

_**Thud.**_

My heart skipped a beat. "Mary?" I whispered. "Are you here?"

_**Thud. Thud.**_

I crossed to the bar and leaned over, the sight that met my eyes causing my blood to run hot and cold at the same time. Mary lay on the floor behind the bar, her arms behind her, her hands cuffed to her feet, mouth gagged, and a bloody gash on the left side of her head. Her eyes were wide and glassy, yet full of fire and softened slightly when she saw me. Before I could vault over the bar, there came the sound of crunching glass behind me, and I slowly turned to see Abigail holding a gun, pointed straight at my chest.

"Hello, husband. You aren't supposed to be here."

* * *

_A/N: I know, I'm evil. But I had to do it - one last cliffhanger for y'all. Reviews are LOVE!_


	22. Chapter 22

_A/N: So I know that summer is a very busy time for everyone - but I'm getting a little insecure here. I haven't gotten very many reviews for the past couple of chapters and I hope that doesn't mean you are losing interest in the story. I really didn't start out with the intention of turning Abigail into a pyscho ex-wife, but what can I say? I'm a slave to the muses - I just hope y'all are still reading and enjoying. This one is almost done. Only 2 more chapters to go after this-_

* * *

"Hello, husband. You aren't supposed to be here."

Behind me, I heard another thud and a groan from Mary. I resisted the urge to turn and check on her as I squared off with the woman in front of me: the one who I had been married to for three years. The one who I had promised to love for better or worse, in sickness and in health – though at the time, I had no idea what the hell I was getting myself in for.

"Abigail, I thought you didn't know where Mary was."

She cocked her head to the side. "Mary's here?"

"Yes, behind the bar – and she's hurt. Let me help her-" I side stepped to the right but Abigail cocked the hammer on the gun and I stopped mid-stride.

"I'm sure she's fine – Mary's a survivor, after all. She doesn't need a man to look after her. Isn't that what you and she are always telling me?"

I swallowed. "I remember saying something to the effect that Mary is self-sufficient, yes."

Abigail nodded. "So, whatever pickle she's gotten into now, she can get herself out of it without your help." She released the hammer and lowered the gun. "Shall we go?"

I looked at her in surprise, trying hard to keep the sheer panic I was feeling off my face. "But she's bound hand and foot – I can't just leave her here without-"

"Sure you can." She raised the gun again. "You, my dear husband, and I are leaving. We're going to have a nice dinner and a nice talk and then we're going to go home – together, just like always."

My head was reeling. "But – we're not married anymore, Abby – don't you remember?"

She laughed. "What are you talking about, Sugar Pie? Of course we are! Look, I'm still wearing the rings you gave me." She held up her left hand and my mouth dropped open as I saw my grandmother's ring and the wedding band on her finger.

"But – you gave the ring back to me, right before you signed the divorce papers," I murmured.

"Divorce papers?" Abigail smiled. "I think you've been working too hard, sugar britches. There's no way I would let the father of my child go."

I reeled back as her words hit me like a blow to the chest and I heard another groan from behind me. "It's not true, Mary," I spoke the words over my shoulder. "You know I haven't been with her in nearly a year."

"Don't talk to her – talk to me!" Abigail cried. "Why is it when I'm trying to tell you something important you're always talking to her!"

I looked into my ex-wife's crazed eyes. "I'm listening."

The hand holding the gun shook. "No, you're not! You don't really care about me – this is all about your precious Mary – she's the only one you ever really loved, isn't she? I was never good enough for you!"

"Abby, please put the gun down," I pleaded as I took a step towards her. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"The hell you say! You didn't come here for me – you came here for her – admit it! Say it!"

I bit my tongue, not wanting to say the words and rile her further.

"Where did I go wrong?" She whispered the words, dropping her chin, seeming to forget anyone else was here. "Why couldn't you love me? Why couldn't any of them love me?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow and I knew Jack was crouching behind a table just behind Abigail. I hoped he would keep still for a little while longer. If he moved now, I feared the result would be deadly.

She gave herself a shake and refocused on me. "But you're going to love me now. Mary's out of the picture – or she will be very soon. We're going to walk out of here and go to dinner and then go home. I know I can make you happy, if you just give me a chance."

I shook my head. "I can't leave Mary here to die, Abby. It's not who I am."

"I thought you might say that – so that's what this is for," she pointed the gun at me once again. "Persuasion."

"Put the gun down, Abby. You don't want to shoot me."

"Come with me and I won't have to."

I took another step towards her, shaking my head again. "You're going to have to shoot me then – because I won't leave Mary."

The gun shook slightly in her tight grip. "You'd die for her?"

"Yes."

"But not me."

Again I remained silent as the answer would only anger her.

She cocked the hammer. "Good-bye Marshall."

Jack and I moved at the same time, he for her legs while I went straight for the gun. Both of us were too late. I watched the life drain out of Abigail's eyes as she went limp in our hold and to my surprise I felt nothing but pity and regret at that moment for the woman who had once been my wife.

_**Thud.**_

"Oh God, Mary," I breathed out the words as I pushed Abigail's body into Jack's arms. "See if you can find the keys to the handcuffs – and get my grandmother's ring off her finger."

I vaulted over the bar and landed next to Mary, my eyes running over her form. Her own eyes were red and I knew she had been crying, no doubt fearing that the shot had been for me moments ago.

"I'm fine," I soothed as I gently removed the gag from her mouth. "Abigail's dead."

Mary worked her jaw back and forth a few times before she spoke in a gravelly voice. "Can't say I'm sorry. Your ex was certifiably crazy, Marshall."

I cupped her face in my hands. "You don't know the half of it. Are you all right? Did she hurt you?"

Mary grimaced. "Aside from a few cracked ribs and concussion, I'm fine. I've had worse –" She pulled away from my hands and tried to rock to her knees. "Where are the keys?"

"Jack's looking for them."

"I guess I'll have to wait to put my arms around you but what's stopping you from holding me?"

"Oh Mary," I breathed as I gathered her into my lap. "I was so-"

"No, no, no. NO talking – kiss me."

I cupped the back of her neck and brought my lips to hers, moaning as she surged up to deepen the contact. When my hand drifted down her side, she hissed and pulled away. "I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"No – damn ribs. I just need some tape, is all."

"I guess we'll be waiting awhile longer to-"

"The hell we will. As soon as the doctor wraps my ribs and I have a couple of aspirin, I'm good to go."

"I bet you're ready to go-" Jack said as he came around the side of the bar. "I've got the keys – ready to be out of those cuffs?"

"Hell, yes."

Once free of her restraints, Mary fell into my arms, too exhausted and dehydrated from twenty-four hours of staying on alert with Abigail and looking for a way to escape. I carried her out to the ambulance, shielding her with my body from the sight of Abigail being loaded into the coroner's van. I kissed her forehead and promised to meet her at the hospital with Jinx and the kids.

"Are they OK?" she frowned, grabbing my hand.

"Jinx held up pretty well – and Nora had faith that I would bring you home."

Mary squeezed my hand. "So did I. You always find me, Marshall Mann- I hope you never lose that ability."

I grimaced. "Couldn't you just promise to try and stay out of trouble?"

She tilted her head. "That would be boring."

I leaned in and kissed her. "Heaven forbid."

* * *

There was an internal investigation into Abigail Chaffee's death by the APD. It was a week long, grueling ordeal but after all the testimony from Chief Daniels, Dr. Shelley Finkel, Jack, Mary, and myself had been recorded as well as the evidence gathered, the case was closed and life returned to normal. My grandmother's ring was returned and I took the one that Abigail had previously returned to me to a jeweler and had them both appraised. The one she gave me the night she signed the papers was a very clever copy. I was relieved to have the heirloom back but I didn't know what to do with it. There were too many bad memories associated with it and I no longer wanted to save it for Nora; she wouldn't want to wear it anyway – she knew that ring had been Aunt Abigail's and one day she would hear the whole story of how my crazy ex-wife had tried to kill her mother. So perhaps one of my brothers wanted the heirloom; I honestly never wanted to lay eyes on it again.

I was ready to start putting the nightmare of Mary's kidnapping and Abigail's suicide behind me but there was still one big hurdle to deal with: Abigail's parents. They flew out on Monday, a week after the suicide to claim their daughter's body and they paid me an unexpected visit at the Sunshine Building. I had never been a particular favorite of theirs for taking their only daughter away and now I knew they blamed me for what happened. I led them into the conference room and then sat still and silently took the blame while her mother, Sylvia, heaped on the guilt, saying it was all my fault that her only daughter was dead. After ten minutes, her dad Gus, finally stopped her tirade.

"Go wait in the car, Syl. I'd like to talk to Marshall man to man."

She left the fishbowl and I tensed. "Sir, I really don't think there's anything left to say. I'm very sorry for all that has happened and if there's anything I can do-"

"Marshall, I'd like to apologize for my wife. She's grieving, as am I, but deep down I know this isn't your fault. Abby was – well, unbalanced, for lack of a better word. I knew this – and I think on some level her mother knows it too, but she'll never admit it now."

I swallowed. "I don't know what to say."

"I want to apologize for what my daughter put you through- perhaps if I had talked to you – told you a little bit about Abby's history with men – but when she met you, and the two of you got together, I honestly thought and hoped she'd changed for the better. You see, Abby had always been the jealous type. She'd almost been engaged before she met you, to her college sweetheart, Jim. But Jim, he had a little cocker spaniel that he adored, and Abby was jealous of the dog. One day out of the blue, the dog got sick and died – the vet said someone had poisoned it. Jim didn't have any proof but he suspected Abby and the two of them fought and broke things off – and truth be told, I don't think he was wrong."

My head was spinning. "I – wow, I really don't know what to say."

"Please just accept my apology. If I'd told you, maybe things would have turned out differently-"

I shook my head. "And maybe they wouldn't. Don't blame yourself, Gus. Abigail made her own choices – I need to remember that too."

"You're a good man, Marshall. I hope that you find happiness with someone special."

I grinned. "I'm working on it."

* * *

Truth be told, ever since I had brought Mary home from that bar, I had avoided being alone with her. I felt horribly guilty and responsible for what had happened, regardless of my words to Abigail's father. If it wasn't for me, Mary wouldn't have gotten hurt. Our job wasn't without risk, but for the first time this had nothing to do with work – this was purely revenge based on our personal life. Perhaps a life with me was too complicated, wasn't worth all the risks – especially when two young children were involved. Perhaps there were more crazy ass women in my past or psycho men in hers. We had worked so hard to get to this point that perhaps we should just go on as we were – partners and friends.

When I got home that night, the silence of the house was deafening. Mary hadn't been cleared to go back to work yet so she had been spending the days at home with the kids. I usually got tackled as soon as I walked in the door by the dog and the kids and then she would give me a big sloppy kiss that had the kids squealing and covering their eyes. But now, I was alone and it was eerie.

"Mary? Nora? Georgie? Anyone home?"

Oscar bounded out of the hall and nearly knocked me off my feet. "Well, you're home." I grunted and scratched his ears. "Where's everyone else?" I heard a floorboard creak and looking up, I swallowed hard at the sight of Mary clad in nothing more than one of my dress shirts and a very short pair of shorts. Her hair was still damp and piled on top of her head in a loose bun, tiny tendrils escaping and framing her face.

"Sorry, I just got out of the shower."

"That's OK-" I swallowed. "I just walked in the door. "Are we alone?"

She nodded. "The kids are staying over at Jinx's tonight."

My heartrate picked up. "Why?"

She smiled at me over her shoulder as she drifted into the kitchen. "Because you and I need some 'us' time. You've been avoiding me, Marshall, and I want to know why."

I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, rubbing my thumbs over her hips. My shirt that she wore was so thin that I could feel the damp skin underneath. "And you expect me to concentrate with you parading around the house with nothing on but one of my shirts?"

She smirked and turned in my arms, wrapping her own around my neck. "I'm wearing shorts."

I played with the hem of the shirt, lifting it slightly but she slapped my hands, stopping the movement. "You call those shorts? Don't wear those in public, Mer."

She shook her head, her mouth millimeters from mine. "Just for you."

I captured her mouth and opened her lips hungrily, diving in to find her tongue. My hands slid up her sides, stumbling to a stop when they encountered nothing but skin.

"What is it?" she broke from my mouth, gasping.

"Your ribs," I breathed. "You're not wearing any tape."

She shook her head. "Nope, I don't need it anymore. I'm fine." Her hands gripped my shoulders and her eyes searched mine as she whispered the next words. "We're fine, Marshall."

I trembled in her arms and she pulled me into her, as I let my hot tears go, wetting the collar of the shirt she wore. "I was so scared," I whispered.

"I know."

"I've never felt so helpless."

"I know."

"And it was all my fault."

She shoved me away hard. "The fuck it was – no, you need to listen to me, Marshall. I know that you've been doing nothing but blaming yourself the past few days and it's got to stop. You can't blame yourself for this. You had no idea that your ex-wife was certifiably nutso – nobody did."

"Her father did."

Mary blinked. "What?"

I sighed. "Her parents came to see me today. After Abigail's mother lambasted me for several minutes, she left and her dad told me that he was sorry he didn't warn me about his daughter. Apparently she poisoned her college sweetheart's dog because she didn't want to share his attentions with an animal."

"Fuck!" Mary shook her head. "And they never thought of getting help for their little angel? OK, not the point right now – I'm focusing on you. You had no way of knowing – and when you found out, you tried to save her."

My mouth fell open. "How do you know that? You were behind the bar, you couldn't see-"

She cradled my face in her hands. "Because I know you, babe. As angry as you were for what she had done to me, to us, you still wanted to get her help. You didn't want her to kill herself."

I shuddered. "No, I didn't."

"And I suppose, deep down, I didn't either. But I'll never admit that again," she grinned. "So no more blaming yourself for your wacky ex, all right?"

"But what if there's more of them?"

She frowned. "What – you telling me you have more crazy ex-wives?"

I glared at her. "No, but what if it happens again? What if you're abducted by a crazy ex-girlfriend or Raph wants you back-"

She rolled her eyes. "Or what if I'm shot tomorrow? Marshall, life has no guarantees, you know that. Abigail is gone – she's only between us if you let her be. It took me what, over a decade to admit I love you? I'm not going to wait even ten more days to become your wife."

I wrapped my arms around her and lifted as she settled her legs around my hips. "Impatient much?" I teased as I began walking us to the bedroom.

She groaned. "We were less than twenty-four hours from our wedding when I was hit on the head and kidnapped-" her breath caught as I lowered us to the bed. "What are you doing?"

"Loving you." I popped the first button on the shirt open and kissed the skin that was revealed. "Unless you still want to wait for our wedding night?" I popped another button and kissed more skin.

Her breathing hitched as she held the back of my head in place. "I never wanted to wait in the first place."

I chuckled against her skin and popped the last button open. "You are so beautiful, Mer – inside and out."

She dragged my face up to hers. "You have no excuse to stop tonight so I'm warning you here and now: stop and you die."

I chuckled and pecked her lips. "Say it again."

She frowned. "What? Stop and-"

I shook my head. "No, what you said before in the kitchen, what it took you a decade to admit."

Her eyes widened in realization and then softened as she cupped the back of my neck bringing our bodies together. "I love you."

I lowered my head to the pulse point in her neck, my words tickling her skin. "I love you the most."

* * *

My eyes flew open the next morning and then shut again just as fast as I groaned when the sunlight hit me full in the face. I heard a throaty laugh behind me and soon a hand was caressing my chest.

I rolled to my back and looked at the vision staring back at me. "Good morning, love."

She rolled her eyes. "I should have known you'd be even more incorrigible after sex."

I grabbed her wandering hand and placed a kiss on the palm. "Sex? Is that all it was?"

She blushed and I grinned, tugging her towards me. "Well, for me it was more – but I didn't want to presume-"

"Mary," I breathed her name on a sigh as I slid to prop myself up on the pillows. "Last night we connected on the most intimate level a man and woman can – and I felt you let go." I reached out and twirled a tendril of hair around my finger. "It was magic."

Her nose scrunched in such a perfect imitation of Nora that I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. "Are you always this poetic after sex? The only word I can manage to describe last night is: 'wow'."

I grinned. "That works too."

She slapped my chest. "Jackass."

"Is that any way to talk to your future husband?"

She grew serious. "You still want to marry me?"

I drew her into my arms. "I'm sorry if I gave you any cause for doubt this past week, Mer. But you and Nora and Georgie are still what I want, now and forever."

She grinned. "Just checking. Is this afternoon too soon?"

I shook my head. "Do you think we can pull it off?"

"I talked to Stan yesterday and he gave you the day off-"

"You did?"

She nodded. "And the grandmas and the kids are ready to go – now all we need is a justice of the peace."

"So we might have to do this at the courthouse instead of the backyard – are you all right with that?"

She kissed me fast and hard. "As long as we're both there this time and we actually get married, that's all that matters."

* * *

_A/N: Marshall's "I love you the most" to Mary is a take on his "I love you more" to the kids - and remember, reviews are LOVE!_


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: Thank you, everyone, for all your love in reviews. I get a little paranoid and insecure from time to time - especially since our beloved IPS is no longer on the air and there are no new fresh episodes to draw inspiration from (sniff). Because of all the angst in this fic, the wrap-up is going to be 2 chapters long. So enjoy the M&amp;M sweetness - they've earned it in this story._

* * *

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride-"

Mary didn't wait for me. She surged to her tiptoes, being half a head shorter than me in her sandal flats, and planted an open mouthed kiss on my upturned lips. One of my hands cupped her cheek while the other rested lightly on her hip in an attempt to keep her from jumping my bones right there in the justice's office with our close family and the kids watching. I could feel her body thrumming with vitality and sex appeal under my hands and I closed my eyes, praying that I could keep her urges as well as mine at bay until we were alone.

From a distance, I heard Nora and Georgie giggling and Jinx clearing her throat. My eyes flew open as I ripped my lips away from Mary's and took a step back, being careful to avoid her glare as her nose collided with my chin. I cleared my throat. "Sorry, Justice Jennings. Mary and I do appreciate you taking some of your lunch hour to perform our ceremony."

Jennings smiled. "I've had lovesick teenagers behave themselves better than the two of you, Mann."

Mary grinned and slipped her arms around my neck, pressing her cheek against my chest. "Yes, but I highly doubt any of those kids have waited ten years to marry."

I pulled her into my side. "If it had been up to me, we wouldn't have waited that long, Mer."

"So you're saying it's my fault?"

"Well-"

From behind us, Mark chuckled. "If you know what's good for you, Marshall, you won't finish that sentence. Mary's always right, you know."

I grinned down at my wife. "Yes, I am well aware of that trait."

Jennings cleared his throat. "Let's sign the license so I can have my office back. I'd like to have a little time to eat my sandwich and relax before my scheduled weddings commence."

Jinx and Mark took pictures of us signing the marriage license and then Jennings took pictures of the family in his chambers and then Mark took one of Mary and me with the Justice. Before leaving, I shook his hand one last time. "I really do appreciate this, Jennings."

He shook his head. "The pleasure was all mine. After what you did for my goddaughter, I owed you one."

I shook my head. "Anyone passing by would have done the same."

"I don't think so."

Mary touched my arm. "What did you do?"

Jennings looked at Mary in surprise. "You don't know?"

I flushed. "No, it's never come up."

"Well, Mary, let me tell you about your husband. He-"

"Not in front of the children, Jennings," I nodded at Nora, Georgie, and baby Anna.

"No, perhaps you're right. But I have a feeling your wife won't let it drop until she knows the whole story."

"Count on it," Mary smiled at me and I groaned.

* * *

"Are you going to tell me or do I need to torture it out of you?"

I sighed as I turned the truck onto our street. Mark had offered to drive Jinx and the kids back to the house in his mini-van to give Mary and me some time alone. Unfortunately, it had just turned into a grilling session about what favor Jennings thought he owed me. Glancing in the rear view mirror, I pulled over and parked, turned off the engine and stared out the windshield.

"It's not that big of a deal, Mer. Like I said, anyone passing by would have done the same thing."

"Marshall-"

I looked up and met her eyes. "About two years ago, I was out late jogging with Oscar. We were close to the NMU campus when I heard screams – a struggle – and I decided to investigate. The track lights were on but the field was deserted. I had just decided that I had been hearing things when I heard whimpering and Oscar growled and took off for the bleachers." I paused to reign in the emotion that had come to the surface. "When I rounded the back side of them, Oscar already had the young man cornered. His pants were around his ankles and he was trying to save what was left of his dignity, which wasn't much. I let Oscar keep him cornered while I went and talked to the girl cowering in the grass. Her clothing was torn and her lower lip was bloody, and it was obvious that Oscar had interrupted them. She was in a state of shock and at first didn't respond to my presence at all. But then she threw herself into my arms and thanked me for getting there in time." I ran a hand through my hair, embarrassed. "I called Abigail, who was still at the station. She came over with another female officer, who took the boy in. She stayed and talked to the girl and together we got her name and helped her home."

Mary swallowed. "And that was Jennings' goddaughter?"

I nodded.

"Who was she?"

"Courtney Linnon."

Mary gasped. "Linnon? As in Judge Linnon's daughter?"

I nodded again.

"Wow, Marshall, you do have some powerful friends."

"Linnon and Jennings aren't my friends, Mer. Yeah, once and a while if they are short a fourth for poker, they call me up. And if I need a warrant or today when we needed a Justice of the Peace on short notice, I called Jennings. They are valuable contacts, resources, that's all. Court is a sweet girl and I'm glad I was there that night to save her from that juvenile delinquent."

Mary shook her head and slid over on the bench seat to lay her hand on my thigh. "I had no idea that your save the world complex extended to people outside the Marshal Service – this could be a problem."

I shrugged. "You did vow to love me for better or worse."

She grinned. "Come here."

I quirked an eyebrow. "Why?"

She tugged on my hand. "Because I can't reach you – the steering wheel is in the way."

I grinned back as I allowed her to tug me past the steering wheel and then tried not to groan as she straddled my lap, her sundress riding high on her thighs. "There, that's better. I'm so glad your pick up is one of the old fashioned ones that has a bench seat and not one of the new ones that has those horrid bucket seats."

I placed my hands on her hips, caressing her skin through the thin fabric. "Because then we couldn't sit like this?"

"Exactly." She lowered her head and once again her lips and tongue and teeth were doing a dance with mine that left me breathless. My hands left her hips and wound through her hair and she moaned at the contact. She broke away to draw in huge, gasping breaths but her eyes remained fixed on mine as she leaned her forehead against mine. "If I knew ten years ago that your touch, your kisses would ignite this fire in me, I wouldn't have waited so long to taste you."

I groaned and laced our left hands together, the clinking of our rings sending a thrill through me. "If you had tasted me back then, neither one of us would be sitting here in the cab of my pick up today, love. My fire would have burned you – you would have run, and I would have died a lonely, broken down, bitter old man. There would be no Nora, probably no Georgie, and definitely no US. You and I were always meant to be. We've fought our way through bullet wounds, a fiancé, a crazy ex-wife – and yet here we are. Sitting in my truck two blocks from home, married, and making out like a pair of love-sick teenagers."

She laughed. "Ever the poet. All I've got to describe what we've been through is one word: hell. And all I've got to describe what you mean to me are three words- I love you."

I dropped a kiss to the pulse point on her neck, watching as her heart rate fluttered madly under my touch. "It's all I ever wanted – and more than I dared hoped for."

She let go of my hand to grip my face in her hands. "I need you to hear me, Marshall. I know that you're still surprised that I'm not mad at you for that day on the balcony when you asked for your freedom-" she paused, waiting for my response.

I nodded. "You have every right to be. I don't understand why you're not mad – or at the very least, hurt."

She nodded and relaxed her hold but didn't release my face. "I was so afraid that day you were going to tell me that we couldn't be friends at all, or that you were accepting a transfer. To lose you and Stan both – that would have killed me. So when you simply asked for me to stop hounding you, to give you some breathing room – I was relieved. I wasn't going to lose you! You were still going to be around, even if I couldn't be as close to you as I wanted to be."

"Mer," I sighed into her hands. "I can't believe that's all you felt."

She shook her head slightly. "It wasn't. I was angry and hurt – but not at you, at ME. I'd finally realized how I'd felt about you and I'd sat on the feelings for nearly a year because I was afraid of what you'd say, that you'd reject me. It was obvious that you'd moved on with Abigail and I honestly didn't think you'd welcome my feelings. So I was afraid of losing you as my best friend and partner if I told you that I was, perhaps, finally ready to explore something more."

"Mary-" I shook my head. "You had to know-"

She dropped her hands. "How? How was I to know that you still loved me? You had made a commitment to her, Marshall. You were dating her exclusively and to the outside world you seemed happy. You moved on-"

I shifted underneath her. "Why are you bringing this up now – on our wedding day? My whole life with Abigail was a lie-"

She placed her hands on my shoulders, her grip hard. "Because I want her ghost to be banished once and for all. I won't have you feeling guilty for moving on – for trying to make a life without me when for all you knew I didn't return your feelings. I know that you still harbor guilt for what happened to Abigail and I know it's not going to go away overnight, but you need to try and let it go. For us."

"But she didn't hurt just me – look at all the pain and anguish she caused you and Nora. She kidnapped you and left you to die, Mer! If I hadn't found you in time-"

She leaned forward and brushed her lips across mine. "But you did, babe. I knew you would. We're fine. We're together and we're married. She didn't win."

I crushed her to my chest. "I love you so much."

"Show me," she breathed the words against my shirt.

It was my turn for my heart rate to race. "Here?"

She pulled back and taking one of my hands, she brought it up to her shoulder and together we slowly started to lower one of the straps of her sundress. "Here."

* * *

"I'd like to make a toast to the happy couple in my role as honorary father of the bride."

I looked around for Mary and saw that she was wiping barbeque sauce off Georgie's face with a wet napkin. Crossing the patio, I pulled her into my side. "Come along, wife, we're being summoned."

She looked up at me, a slight frown on her face. "Do we really have to have toasts?"

I grinned. "It's Stan – humor him."

She gritted her teeth and pasted on a smile.

I shook my head. "You look ready to eat someone, my dear." I leaned in and kissed her softly.

She blinked up at me. "Don't start something you can't finish."

I laughed. "Later."

Stan handed us paper cups half filled with sparkling juice and lifted his own in the air. "I'm sorry to have missed the ceremony – but not sorry to see my kids finally wed." He paused and tipped his cup in our direction. "This day has been a long time coming. From very early on in their partnership, I predicted it would end in one of two ways: marriage or Mary shooting him-"

"Believe me, the thought crossed my mind once or twice!" Mary heckled me, bumping her hip into mine.

"Mama!" Nora gasped. "You would really shoot Daddy Marshall?"

I bit back a chuckle as Mary opened and closed her mouth, trying to think of something to say. "No, love bug, Grandpa Stan just meant that your mother got frustrated with me quite a bit in the beginning of our partnership."

"Not just the beginning-" Mary groused under her breath.

"Mer," I leaned down to breath in her ear. "You're being a bad girl."

She locked gazes with me. "We need to end this reception – fast."

I swallowed. "Stan?"

He cleared his throat. "As I was saying – this day has been a long time coming. So raise your glasses and join me in toasting the Mann family: Marshall, Mary, Nora, and Georgie – may you have many happy years together."

I swallowed the juice as Mary set her cup down and went over to throw her arms around Stan, giving him a wet smack on the forehead, all the while never breaking eye contact with me, giving me silent signals to kick our friends and family out.

"My turn!" Jinx cried.

I could sense Mary's mounting frustration and I smiled, trying to play the gracious host. "Of course, Jinx-"

"Ah!" she held up a finger. "I'm 'mom' now."

I swallowed. "Of course, Mom."

Jinx beamed. "I don't have a toast – so much as announcement. Marshall knows how I feel about him; how glad I am to finally have a son-in-law and one that can hold his own with Mary is something I never thought I'd see!"

"Mom!" Mary groaned, as she came back to my side and slipped her arm through mine. "I thought you said you had an announcement to make?"

"Oh, right! Since the wedding was postponed and your original honeymoon plans were canceled – well, these are for you!" Jinx handed Mary a long white envelope.

Mary looked at me in confusion but I just shrugged my shoulders. "Don't look at me, I'm as much in the dark as you are."

She slit the envelope open and her mouth fell open. "Two round trip tickets to Victoria British Columbia?"

Jinx nodded. "We all pitched in – Joanna, Mark, Stan, and myself. You'll be staying at the famous hotel right on the harbor – sorry we couldn't afford the honeymoon suite – but the pictures of your room look nice online so we hope you like it."

"And there are plenty of attractions within walking distance of the hotel," Joanna added.

Stan was rocking back and forth on his feet as he murmured, "I'm afraid I could only get you both time off through Monday so it's just an extended weekend trip."

Mary's eyes had misted over and she looked up at me, trusting me to say the words she couldn't.

"Thank you – Mary and I didn't expect this. We thought we'd get away in a few weeks but you all have been so generous. I don't know what to say."

Mark clapped me on the shoulder. "What else are families for?"

* * *

I collapsed on the bed next to my wife, desperately trying to catch my breath. Mary lay next to me, her skin still damp from the shower but also from the mad, passionate love we'd just shared. She rolled onto her stomach and reached out a hand to brush the lock of hair that had flopped into my eyes, smiling in contentment.

I shivered under her touch. "You, Mary Mann, are a bad, bad, girl."

She laughed. "And you love me for it."

I captured her fingers, kissing each one before laying her hand over my racing heart. "Indeed."

Our informal barbeque reception had broken up a little over an hour and half ago and Jinx had taken the kids and Oscar, leaving us alone in the house. I had insisted on at least setting the grill pans soaking before moving onto more pleasurable delights – something that did NOT go over well with my new bride. Mary had stomped off to the shower, muttering choice curse words under her breath about house husbands and Betty Crocker wannabes and starting an engine and leaving it to idle-

At least those were the words I could understand between her swearing and before she slammed the bedroom door and I heard the shower turn on. Since I figured I had some extra time – Mary needed to cool off and she wouldn't be in the mood for sex any time soon – I scrubbed the grill pans and set to work on washing the larger pots and pans that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher. I had just finished loading the machine when I was grabbed from behind.

"Mary!" I gasped, as her hands slid up my bare back. My shirt had gotten wet while doing the dishes and I had discarded it on the kitchen table; as a result, I was bare from the waist up. "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

She laughed, low in her throat, as she stretched on her tiptoes to capture my earlobe in her teeth. "Did you forget I was here?"

I moaned and leaned back into her touch. "No – but I thought-"

Her hands gripped my shoulders and spun me to face her. "You thought what?"

I swallowed as I took in her appearance: hair piled in a sloppy bun and wearing nothing but one of my dress shirts with only two buttons keeping it closed. "I thought you were mad at me-"

She shrugged as she trailed her hands up my chest, watching as my breathing increased. "I was – but the funny thing is I can't remember why."

I grinned and dropped my hands to her hips. "Oh no?"

She shook her head. "Can you?"

"Hm, I can't say that I do."

"Well, if neither one of us can remember – it can't be too important."

"I know something that is-"

"What's that?"

"We're alone-"

She looped her arms around my neck. "Then let's not waste any more time talking, husband."

And we didn't – but it took us until the third time to make it to our bedroom and the bed. Now as I lay beside her with a pounding heart and still feeling slightly dizzy from all our physical activity of the past hour, I began to laugh.

Her hand tightened over my heart. "What's so funny?"

"I'm just thinking about the fact that I'll never be able to look at the kitchen table in quite the same way again – and how glad I am that the kids aren't home right now."

Mary grinned. "Me too – you know, you're the only man I've done that with."

I shifted slightly so I could see her eyes. "Really? I've always thought of you as the adventurous kind of girl when it comes to sex."

She shook her head. "No, I've never let myself go like that before you." She shivered and closed her eyes. "You make me feel a little out of control, Marshall."

I lifted a hand and caressed her cheek. "And that scares you still, doesn't it?"

She nodded. "Sometimes I open my eyes in the night and see you sleeping next to me and I can't help but wonder-"

When she didn't continue I whispered, "What?"

"Why you're here – why you chose me and Nora and Georgie instead of a perfect life with – well, someone less fucked up."

I lifted my arm and she rolled into me, resting her head over my heart. For a while, I didn't speak. I simply held her in my arms and let her listen to the comforting sound of my heart beating under her ear.

"When I told Stan that he should hire you and you agreed to give Witness Protection a chance, why did you stay? What made you decide to stay with me?" I whispered.

She shrugged the shoulder that wasn't pressed into me. "We'd formed a friendship, a partnership that I wasn't willing to give up on."

I hummed in agreement. "But before that – why did you initially decide to stay and give us a chance?"

She shifted on my chest and I knew the question made her uncomfortable. Probing emotions and talking about them wasn't something that anyone could ask of Mary – but I wasn't just anyone, not anymore. "I don't know – you made me feel safe, I think. It had been a long time since anyone had made me feel that way – that not only would you have my back but possibly you could be trusted too."

"And how did you feel when you found that job offer on my desk during the Horst case?"

She pulled away and stared down at me. "Why are we talking about this? I don't want-"

I sat up and rubbed her arms soothingly. "Shh – I'm right here, my love. I'm not going anywhere – but this is important. Tell me how you felt."

Her eyes were snapping green fire. "I felt like the bottom of my world had dropped out – that I'd been wrong about you. That you weren't safe and you were just like all the others – that you were going to leave too. And that was unbearable – because to imagine a world without you-" she broke off, her eyes now bright with tears.

I closed the space between us and kissed her, moving my lips over hers with confidence and fire until she opened her mouth under mine and our tongues tangled together.

"Marshall, what are you – what is this about?" she panted against my lips as she pulled back for air.

I cupped her face in trembling hands. "That's why I stayed - through all the fights, your engagement that ultimately fell through, your pregnancy and Nora's birth. It's why I came to you after my own marriage fell apart and I found out it had all been a lie from the start – it's more than the fact that I couldn't let you go, Mary. It's because a world without you doesn't make any sense. Even if you had only wanted to be my friend and partner, I would have found some way to make that work because I'd already tried the alternative and failed."

She placed her hands over mine. "I love you, Marshall – I'm not the poet you are, but I hope you never doubt me on that point."

"Show me."

She laughed, her hands slipping to my shoulders as she pushed me down to the mattress. "Again?"

My hands slid down her body. "We have so much time to make up for, my love."

Her eyes darkened, but I was sure this time it wasn't in anger. "Don't call me that."

"I can call you anything I want when we're alone-"

She captured my wrists and drew them over my head. "Don't play that card with me, babe. I can devise new forms of torture for you now that we're married."

My eyes laughed up at her. "Is that another promise from my naughty wife?"

She giggled. "Well, you've been married before – I don't want you to be bored with me."

I rolled my eyes. "Mer, boring is a word I would never use to describe you, or our life together."

"Good." She leaned in to kiss me, but then stopped. "Do you want boring?"

I gritted my teeth. "Mary, how many times do I have to tell you I just want you? Yes, it would be nice if our lives slowed down from the sixty miles an hour it seems to always to be going – but no. We will never be boring – wait, do you want boring?"

She grinned. "I was just checking in with you-"

With a growl, I freed my hands and rolled her under me. "You are a bad, bad girl Mary Mann – and don't ever change."

She lifted her face for my kiss, breathing the words against my lips. "And don't ever let us go."

* * *

_A/N: Aw. I could end it here - but I still need t wrap up a couple of things. Last chapter next week. And remember, reviews are LOVE._


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Alas my friends, we've come to the end of another tale. But never fear, my plot bunnies are already hard at work on another IPS fic. So keep your eyes peeled for **Revive** \- coming this fall. Thank you all for reviewing and getting this fic to an awsome 100 reviews - not too shabby for a show that's no longer on the air! ;) Enjoy the supersized chapter of fluffy love._

* * *

I've only been in love with one woman my whole life.

I know how that sounds – that I'm a dick, especially since I'm on my second marriage. It doesn't mean that I didn't love my first wife. I did, truly, even though she turned out to be a certifiable nut job that tried to kill the love of my life, the woman that I cannot live without – the one that I would kill for, die for, and at the same time drives me absolutely insane.

I can't live without her. The world just doesn't make sense if she isn't by my side.

God knows I've tried. For years I was her best friend, her loyal sidekick, her punching bag, the faithful puppy yapping at her heels that she kicked to the curb time and time again without understanding just how deep my feelings ran or knowing that she was trampling on my heart every time she walked away to go fuck another cowboy in a stall in some dive.

But when we finally came together, when I finally told her how I felt and she finally stopped running from her feelings – it was magic. It was everything all the songs and books have talked about for centuries and then some. Oh, I'm not saying our marriage was peace and harmony – that wouldn't have been us. Mary and I have always had a passionate partnership- one filled with fights, verbal and physical, and that didn't change after we said our vows. The only difference now was that our make-up sessions were so much more satisfying, for both of us.

* * *

"Mary, I'm just saying you need to stop pulling your gun on our witnesses," I sighed as I slid my card through the reader, waiting for the buzz. "Jenkins was going to wet his pants-"

Mary brushed past me into the office. "He so deserved it, Marshall! The man's a child molester, for God's sake!"

I ran a hand through my hair. "I know, but it's our job to protect-"

She whirled on me in a fury. "Don't you dare! I know you hate protecting that SOB as much as I do!"

I threw out my hands in exasperation. "What do you want me to say, huh? It's our job! We don't get to pick the witnesses. Jenkins has vital testimony that will put away a member of the Sanchez cartel for a long time-"

"So we just let him get away with the fact that he molested his five year old niece?"

"I can't –" I swallowed. "We can't do anything about that! He signed a deal with the FBI before entering WitSec-"

She slapped my chest, her open palm striking me hard. "You'd be singing a different tune if it was Nora-"

I grabbed her hand, pulling her into me. "Don't do this here, Mer." I darted a glance to the side to see Stan watching us from his office, frowning. "We have to toe-"

"Fuck, Marshall!" Mary yanked her hand free. "I can't – how can you be so – I need-"

"Shh-" I whispered, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against me in a side hug. "I know, I know. Just – I can't give you what you need here and now."

"Marshall!"

I pulled back from my wife as if burnt and both of us turned to see Stan standing in the doorway to his office.

"Yeah, chief?"

"Can I have a word?"

Mary turned and all but ran out to the patio, her head tucked low as I went to face the music. "Stan, I'm sorry but Jenkins really got to Mary today. He had the nerve to ask for-"

Stan waved my words away. "That's not why I called you in here. I'm going to forget what I heard and saw out there just now because the two of you have been doing such a good job of being professional since your marriage. Jenkins is a first class bastard and it sticks in my craw that he got accepted into the program."

I sighed. "Thank you, chief. Why did you call me in here then?"

He tossed a large manila envelope across the desk. "This came for you while you were out visiting witnesses – straight from the court."

I swallowed hard and ripped it open, pulling out the official papers. Scanning the sheets, I grinned. "Georgie's adoption – I'm a father, Stan."

Stan grinned back. "You've been a father for over a year now – this just makes it legal in the eyes of the law."

I nodded.

"How did you get the papers so fast? You and Mary only applied three months ago."

I shrugged. "I called in a favor."

Stan's eyebrows rose. "Must have been some favor."

* * *

"So I can call you Daddy now?"

I laughed as I swung Georgie up to my shoulders, the sound of his childish squeals filling my heart to overflowing. "You've been calling me that for months now, Sport."

"Yeah, but-" Georgie's words came to a stop and I swung him back down so I could see his face.

"But what? What's wrong, Son?"

His eyes flooded with tears as he threw himself against me. "Does this mean you won't leave me? Ever?"

I sighed as I looked at Mary over his shoulder. How did you reassure a four-year-old that you never meant to go anywhere when that same child had already lost his birth mother? I held him close to me and whispered. "I have no intention to leave you Georgie, now or ever. I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

Nora hugged Georgie from behind. "You know, this means you're my little brother now."

Georgie released me so fast that I nearly fell over. "It does?" he gasped, his mouth open and his eyes huge in his face. "I always wanted a sister."

Nora's nose crinkled. "And I guess I could get used to having a pesky little brother-"

"Nora!" Mary chastised.

Nora giggled as Georgie threw himself into her arms, before turning to look at Mary. "Does this mean I can call you Mama?"

My eyes flew to Mary's in time to see her eyes go still and her face lose color. "Georgie, I-" she cleared her throat. "You had a mother."

I stood up slowly and crossed to her side. "Brandi's gone." Mary flinched at my words. "You're still here. I don't think she'd mind, love, having her sister, her second mother, raise her son."

Nora broke in, trying to ease the tension. "He could call you Mama Mary."

My lips twitched as Mary frowned and shook her head. "I don't think so, Bug."

"Did I say something wrong, Aunt Mary?"

"Oh no, Georgie," Mary knelt by his side. "It's – just a big thing you asked me. Let me think about it, OK?"

"OK."

* * *

"I just don't want him to forget her."

I rubbed Mary's back soothingly as we lay in bed that night. "It's never going to happen. You're going to see her every time you look into his face, my love. And you won't let him forget her, either. You'll tell him stories about her, about the two of you growing up together, about how much you love and miss her. He will be one of the luckiest boys on the planet to have a mother and an aunt all rolled into one."

She frowned down at me. "Don't you think it will confuse him – to think of me as an aunt and his mother?"

I shook my head. "He's old enough to remember Brandi as the mother who birthed him and you as the one who will raise him – he can handle this."

She shook her head, closing the distance between us. "How did I get so lucky?"

"What do you mean?"

She breathed the words against my lips, the air from her mouth making me shiver in desire. "Not only did you wait for me to be ready to love you but you love and are raising two children who aren't biologically yours with me-" she shook her head slowly. "I think I fall in love with you a little more each day, Marshall Mann."

I waggled my eyebrows. "Then my plan is working."

She laughed and lowered her mouth to mine.

"MAMA!"

Georgie's scream had both of us scrambling out of bed but Mary was faster than I was and she reached his bedside first, pulling a sobbing half asleep boy into her lap. "Shh, my beautiful boy, I'm here, I'm here, you're OK, you're OK, what's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"

Georgie nodded and shuddered and hiccupped and sobbed against her breast while Mary soothed and cooed and rubbed her hands up and down his back until the storm passed. When his little body finally went slack, Mary laid him back against the pillow and he smiled sleepily up at her.

"Feeling better, Bean?"

"Mama used to call me that," he murmured.

"I remember," Mary whispered.

"Mama?"

"Hm?"

Georgie's eyes popped open. "Can I call you Mama?"

Mary's eyes met mine for a moment before she leaned down and kissed Georgie's forehead. "You can call me anything you like."

"I like Mama."

Mary took a deep breath. "Mama it is then."

Georgie rolled to his side, taking his stuffed dog with him. "I love you, Mama."

"I love you, Bean."

* * *

**Father's Day – 6 months later**

I rolled over in bed, my hand reaching out for Mary before my eyes were even completely open. When my questing fingers encountered nothing but empty space and cold sheets, my eyes flew open and I listened, my ears catching the muffled sounds from the kitchen as my nose smelled breakfast.

"Mary?" I called sleepily.

"Stay in bed, Doofus!" She yelled at me. "We're making you breakfast – it's Father's day, remember?"

I grinned and buried my face in the pillow, trying not to think of the burnt offerings that would soon be in front of me. But if Mary stayed on the sidelines and actually let Nora do most of the cooking, breakfast would be edible. Nora had been shadowing my every move in the kitchen ever since I had moved in, even before Mary and I had become a couple, and my goddaughter had somehow inherited my cooking ability. Mary didn't think Nora was old enough to cook on the stove or use the oven but I maintained that as long as one of us was there to supervise her and make sure she was being safe, she was ready.

I was just glad that I had made it home in time. Nora and Georgie had been talking about Father's Day for two weeks – and had been bitterly disappointed when I came home earlier in the week and told them I needed to go out of town for work. Delia and I had to go to New Orleans to pick up a witness and since she was eight months pregnant, we had to drive back. We drove day and night, with our witness sleeping in the back of the rented sedan most of the time, so that I could be home for Father's Day. Delia had dropped me off at two o'clock this morning and I had collapsed in our bed fully clothed, not even bothering to wake Mary for a kiss.

But my wife had awakened me a couple of hours later with her hands caressing my skin and her lips brushing mine.

"I missed you."

I grinned sleepily. "I missed you more."

She kissed me deeply, the fire igniting in both of us and that was the last thing either of us said for quite some time.

"Do you think it will always be this way?"

"What way?" I whispered, my hands caressing the top of her shoulders.

"This – intense. Every time with you takes my breath away, Marshall. Do you think it will always be that way or do you think it will eventually get –" she bit her lip and I laughed.

"What – boring? Routine? Stale?"

"Well? Do you?"

I rolled her under me, pinning her gaze with mine. "Do you realize what you sound like right now?"

She shook her head.

"You sound like one of those eighteen century woman who get 'the talk' from their older and wiser women about performing their wifely duty – what are you really worried about, Mer/"

She sighed. "We've been married for nine months, Marshall, and I –" She blushed. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way – but my only frame of reference is to bring up my past relationships and I don't want you to get mad or think I'm comparing you to them because I'm not and-"

"Mary-" I shifted to the side, taking her with me. "Say what you need to say – I'm listening."

She rested her head on my chest. "Well, my marriage to Mark only lasted two days – and I have no regrets about its demise, you know that. And if I'm being honest here, in a lot of ways, I was bored with Raph after the first couple of months – he was a good fuck but not someone I wanted to spend–"

I huffed out a breath. "Do you have a point to this jaunt down memory lane?"

She rolled to her stomach, locking our eyes again. "Yes – I was quickly bored in my other relationships but with you – you always leave me wanting more. I miss you when you're gone. When we're not together, I feel like part of me is missing." She shrugged and dropped her eyes. "I know you've had this before, with Abigail-"

"You're wrong."

Green met blue. "But – you married her, Marshall – you loved her, I know you did."

My eyes fluttered shut as I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts. "Abigail was my rebound from you, Mer. She was my futile attempt to move on from you – to try and release you for good. I tried to love Abigail and yes, I suppose I did." I opened my eyes to meet her tear filled ones. "But there has only ever been one woman in my heart. I've only been in love with one woman. And that woman wasn't my first wife."

"Marshall-"

I cleared my throat and sat up. "So if that makes me less of a man in your eyes or disgusts you, I'm so-"

Her lips cut off my words and I groaned as I pulled her into my lap, her legs wrapping around my hips. When my lips left hers to trail a line of wet kisses down her throat, she murmured in my ear, "Actually, it makes me love you more."

* * *

"DADDY!"

I sat up in time to be tackled by two flying bundles of pajamas. Mary watched from the doorway, holding a breakfast tray as the three of us fell backwards on the bed, laughing and tickling and talking over each other. My eyes met hers over their heads and we shared a smile.

"Is that for me? I'm starving!"

"I made the pancakes!" Nora announced proudly.

"I made the juice and helped Ray with the 'cakes!" Georgie put in.

I grinned. "And what did you do?" I asked Mary as she set the tray down across my knees.

"I made the coffee and supervised, just like we talked about."

"She put the blueberries in the pancakes too, Daddy," Nora added.

"Well, that's a very important job," I nodded.

Mary rolled her eyes. "Yes, and one I can't fu- mess up."

I winked at her, acknowledging her attempt not to swear in front of the kids. "Wow, look at all this food. I can't eat all this – who's going to help me?"

Mary snorted. She knew that I would have no trouble eating this spread – I still had the appetite and metabolism of a twenty-five year old. But she grinned as she pulled extra forks out of her pocket. "I came prepared."

The four of us dived in and Mary went back to the kitchen twice to get more blueberry pancakes before we'd all had our fill, but finally, the Mann family lay on the king-sized bed in our pajamas, both kids snuggled into me and Mary spooned up with Nora. Both kids were drifting back to sleep and Mary smiled over her daughter's head at me.

"Thank you for rushing home – they were so looking forward to making you breakfast."

I grinned. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world." I looked down at Georgie who was curled up asleep in my arms. "This father's day is different from anything you or I had growing up, isn't it?"

Mary snorted. "Don't go there, Marshall."

I reached out a hand and captured a wrist. "You must have one nice memory before your dad went away."

"Went away," Mary repeated the words bitterly. "You make it sound like he died or didn't have a choice instead of deserting his family."

I released her wrist. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

She grabbed my fingers. "No, I'm sorry. You don't deserve my bile." She dropped a kiss into my palm. "You are truly the best man, the best father I've ever known, Marshall Mann. And to answer your question, yes, I do have one or two good memories of Father's day – he used to take me to the track."

My eyebrows rose into my hairline. "That's not exactly for kids."

Mary smiled. "No, but somehow James made it seem like Disneyland." She cleared her throat. "So what about Seth? Do you have any good memories of Father's day?"

I dropped my eyes. "He was never home."

Her mouth fell open. "Never?"

"Nope. Always on assignment – he did usually manage to call but-" I shrugged.

"Oh babe," Mary's eyes were full of emotion and I could tell that she wished we didn't have a pile of kids between us. She dropped my hand and reached out to caress my cheek. "That's – wow. I don't know what to say. I know you two weren't close but to never make it home for his kids? No wonder you did that saliva DNA test."

I shrugged. "It was a long time ago, Mer."

"But it still affects you, don't pretend it doesn't."

I nodded. "It affects me insomuch as I've made a promise to be there for all the important events in Nora and Georgie's lives – and I knew today was important."

"See what I mean? The best father I've ever known."

* * *

"Nora? Keep an eye on Anna! Don't let her fall in the monkey pit!" Mark called after his daughter.

"I've got her, Daddy!"

"Me too, Uncle Mark!"

I smiled as Nora reached Anna just before she leaned too far over the railing and pulled her sister back from the ledge. I turned back to see Mark, wiping the sweat from his brow, shaking his head.

"Two girls, Marshall, two! What on earth am I going to do with two girls? Just think about when they're teenagers!"

I clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Take it one step at a time, Mark. Enjoy them now – don't go borrowing trouble. And remember, you're not alone. You have your mom, and Jinx, and Mary and me. And Nora is six years older – just like Mary and Brandi were."

Mark nodded. "You know, I think that makes Mary sad. Sometimes, I catch her looking at the two of them and she gets this look on her face – you know the one – where she's trying not to cry?"

I nodded.

"Perhaps it would be better for everyone if Anna and I-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence! It's done Jinx and Mary a world of good to have little Anna around and Nora would be crushed to lose you and her baby sister again."

"You're right. I just don't want to impose on all of you."

"You're not. Mary and I need all the sitters we can get for our work – so I think we've got a good thing going here."

Mark laughed. "Well, when you put it that way. We certainly have an interesting family tree, don't we?"

Squeals of delight made us turn to see that the kids had found one of the zoo's sprinklers. Georgie and Nora had each taken one of Anna's hands and were running through it with her.

I grinned. "I know the saying is 'blood's thicker than water' but I've always believed that there's more than one definition of family. And we have a great one, Mark."

* * *

I stood for a few moments in the doorway, watching Georgie sleep, his face relaxed and oh so innocent. The top bunk was empty as Nora was staying overnight with Mark and Anna; Georgie had fought going to bed tonight, not wanting to go to sleep without his adopted sister but I also think he was enjoying having the extra time with Mary and me all to himself.

I jumped slightly as Mary's arms wound around me from behind and her breath tickled my ear. "Are you going to stand here and watch him sleep all night?"

I shook my head and turned off the light, shutting the door. When I turned to face her, my breath caught in my throat. Mary was fresh from the shower and she was once again wearing nothing but one of my dress shirts with her damp hair piled in a messy bun on top of her head.

"What if Georgie had still been awake?" I hissed at her.

She smiled. "The shirt's buttoned all the way up, Marshall. I'm perfectly decent."

I snorted. "That's debatable, Mer. Your skin is still damp, which makes the shirt cling to you and-" I swallowed.

She moved into my personal space. "And what?"

"And it's practically transparent – you're far from decent," I growled as I captured her lips in a hungry kiss.

She broke away from me, her breath hot against my cheek. "Don't start something you can't finish."

I arched an eyebrow at her. "Is that a challenge, Mrs. Mann?"

"No, just a reminder that we're not alone in the house tonight."

"We weren't last night either-" I nipped the side of her neck as I swept her into my arms bridal style.

Her arms tightened around my neck. "What are you doing?" she demanded as I set her down just on the other side of our bedroom doorway.

I grinned at her. "I just realized that I've never carried you across the threshold – on our wedding night, by the time we made it in here, we'd already christened the kitchen and the hallway and you had me far too distracted to think straight."

She laughed as she pulled me into the room. "Oh, and you think I had the corner on distraction? The things you did with your hands that night, Marshall." She shuddered against me. "I think I forgot my own name there for a few minutes."

I shut and locked our door before I pounced on my wife, falling with her on the bed, sending buttons flying in all directions. "Don't ever waste your money on lingerie."

Mary's cell phone began to ring and for a few seconds, we ignored it. But finally, she swore and pulled away from me to reach for it. "Somebody better be dead," she growled. "Mark? What's wrong? Is Nora-?" she paused and listened. "I understand – we'll see you soon." She sighed and rolled over to meet my eyes. "Anna's spiked a high fever. Mark's taking her to urgent care and he wants to drop Nora back here on the way."

I sighed and kissed her softly. "To be continued."

She pulled away from me with a groan. "What did I say about turning me on and leaving me to idle?"

I laughed. "You're kidding, right? You're not alone in that department, love."

After we had gotten Nora settled for the night and had heard back from Mark that Anna had an earache infection and was home with antibiotics, we were once again back in bed, but the moment was gone. Mary was snuggled into me, her hands tracing random patterns on my chest and I was playing with her hair and neither one of us was wanting anything more.

"Do you know what I missed the most while you were gone?" Mary whispered.

"Hm?"

"This – just lying here in bed with your arms around me, your hands in my hair, my hands on your chest. I'm not one to cuddle and God knows I like my space once I fall asleep but do you know that I need your arms around me until I do?" Mary shook her head. "I didn't – not until this week – not until you were gone and I had to hug your pillow instead. How pathetic is that?"

I chuckled. "I didn't sleep well without you either."

She wrinkled her nose. "Does that make us co-dependent?"

I shrugged. "What if it does?"

She slapped my shoulder. "I don't want to become one of those lovey dovey, cutesy couples that coos and finishes each other's sentences and can't make a move without checking with the other first! I don't want to lose my identity, Marshall."

"OK, first, I don't think we're losing our identities just because we had trouble sleeping apart this week. I think it means we're still catching up on all the time we've missed out on being a couple – and second, I hate to break it to you, but we've always finished each other's sentences."

She grimaced. "I guess you're right about that – but I'm not going to start watching chick flicks with you and batting my eyelashes."

I smiled. "Deal."

"And I'm not going to stifle my own opinions and agree with you all the time."

"I wouldn't want you to – I like our fights. And then we can have make up sex."

She giggled and wound her arms around my neck before her expression sobered. "But you do have to promise me one thing."

I quirked an eyebrow. "I've already promised better or worse, sickness and health, to love, honor, and cherish, for richer or poorer – what else is left?"

Mary swallowed hard as she sat up and swung her leg over my hip, pinning me to the mattress. "My confidence in us is growing by the day, Marshall, but I still get scared. I want forever with you – but I don't know that I believe it's possible yet. So I need you to promise me that if I ever run, you'll run after me. That if I ever ask you for freedom, for breathing room, that you won't give it to me – because that will just give me time to get lost in my own head and panic. You keep me centered and focused and prevent me from flying off the handle – just like when we were partners." She took a deep breath. "So, can you do that for me?"

I reached up and cupped her face. "Mary, that all falls into the better or worse category. I know you still get scared and that as much as you love me you still have these niggling doubts at the back of your mind about the future, because the future isn't something that's worked out for you. But that's going to change – we're different. You and me and Nora and Georgie – we're a family and nothing and no one is going to break us up. I'm never letting you go again, I promise."

She rocked her hips against mine as she crashed her lips over mine and for several moments I forgot to breathe as my wife poured all her heart and soul into our kiss.

"I'm going to hold you to that," she gasped when we parted for air.

"You do that," I grinned up at her.

* * *

_A/N: I'd love to hear any final thoughts you all have - and I'll see you all again in my next story. XOXO_


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